


Bloodlines

by devils_church



Category: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Genre: A lot of family drama, Death, Happy Ending, Lots of questions that get answered, M/M, Martin and Tobias are gay as fuck, Martin just wants to be listened to, Martin’s family sucks, Nobody is human, Papa Nihil is fucking awful, Sadness, Tobias has grandfather issues, assassination ghoul makes an appearance or two, yes they have sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 65,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devils_church/pseuds/devils_church
Summary: Tobias, otherwise known as Special, isn’t sure why his father, Papa Emeritus the Second, left one day. He’s forced to live with his grandfather, Papa Nihil, and encounters a weird clergy of demons who are out to kill him and Nihil. Amongst those demons is Martin, who’s also known as Omega.Lots of drama happens. Gay love and sex goes down. People die. Families get destroyed. Tobias finds out why he has a demon in him. Martin realizes he’s worth something.Basically... A lot of questions are answered. And there’s gay smut and drama. Have fun.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all... this fanfic started out as another story with different characters. So if you see random names in there... sorry. I thought I changed them all. 
> 
> Have fun!

##  Chapter One 

In several ways, Stockholm was different than Linköping. Tobias noticed that as soon as he stepped foot within the city's limits. His hair flew into his face and nearly drove him insane. Of course that happened back in Linköping, but it didn't bother him then. The wind there felt like home and the wind in Stockholm felt entirely foreign. Tobias was realizing that he'd take Linköping's breezes over these ones any day. 

The buildings weren't different, but they weren't the ones he had grown up with. Tobias wasn't used to it and he didn't want to get used to it.

Waterways ran through and around the city, which is something Linköping also had. But this wasn't home. These weren't the waterways he knew. They wound around the city in other ways and they didn't flow the way that Tobias was acquainted to. They looked and smelled different, too.

The people were much different. In Linköping, people minded their own business. They didn't try to talk to you to be nice and they let you go about your business. In Stockholm, however, people were social. They would bump into you on the street and apologize before they decided to strike up a conversation, even though their attempt was pointless considering Tobias didn't care. Tobias hated how many people were around. He wanted to isolate himself and never step foot outside again. God knows that he could only walk a few steps down the sidewalk without being run into by some random stranger who thought that they were obligated to talk to him afterwards. 

Tobias didn't comment on anything at first. His grandfather had to move here. His job required it. He was an antipope of sorts for a church that Tobias only attended when he wanted to. Usually, Tobias didn't have to move with him when he was relocated, but this time, he had to.

His father, who worked alongside his grandfather, had vanished months earlier. When Tobias had woken up one day and went to fetch him for breakfast, he was gone. Nowhere to be found. His grandfather, Nihil, claimed that he must've fled town for various reasons, most of which included the church. Tobias was heartbroken and alone. After that, he was brought into Nihil's care and thrust into his way of life with the church. Nihil brought Tobias up for the following months and boarded him at his chambers. With nowhere to turn and Nihil opening a bigger church, Tobias had no choice but to go with him to Stockholm. There was nowhere else to go. 

When Tobias was thirty, he didn't have the need to live on his own. His father had money from the church and could support them both. On top of that, he loved his father and neither of them wanted him to leave. However, that seemed pointless now since his father had been the one who left in the long run. Nihil's home was also his now, though he didn't particularly enjoy living with him. Living on his own seemed to be the better option. 

Nihil had talked him into moving to Stockholm with him. Tobias didn't want to go because he didn't want to leave Linköping. He had lived there all of his life and he had many memories there. That's where his last memory of his father was. Leaving the area would hurt, and it did. He cried when they drove out of the city with their things packed and his father's house up for sale. He couldn't help but express how he felt. He was thankful that Nihil didn't comment on it.

The first night in Stockholm was unnerving. The amount of sirens that Tobias heard was enough to make him go insane. He couldn't stand the wailing and the tires screeching across the pavement. It was distracting him and it was too loud for him to sleep. He ended up staying awake and staring out the window, his eyes on the sidewalk and the street as he watched cars and people go by in the middle of the night. 

The two of them lived in a rich neighborhood in a rather extravagant house that was much too big for only two men. Tobias didn't mind it, but he didn't believe it was a necessity. A few streets down was where many rundown houses were. Tobias hadn't been down there, but Nihil had already warned him about it. The people who walked down his street usually came from those streets. Nihil had told them they slept in the rodent infested houses because they had nowhere else to go and that they could only lurk around at night when no one was looking at or for them. Tobias couldn't blame them for wanting to escape and walk around. He wouldn't be able to live in an area like that either.

The only thing that Tobias liked in Stockholm was their house. He had a room upstairs all to himself while Nihil slept downstairs in the room that lead out to the back patio. They were on opposite sides of the house and on different levels, which meant that even in the middle of the night, Tobias could listen to music or do whatever he wanted to in his room without disturbing Nihil. They were meant to live on church property, but seeing as the church was still being built, Nihil settled on living in the city itself.

The house was too much, but it was nice. There was a full bathroom upstairs for Tobias and a full bathroom downstairs for Nihil. The basement was creepy and musty, but Tobias found it to be fascinating. It reminded him a horror movie. The staircase that lead from the middle floor to Tobias's room was made of polished wood that hardly scuffed up when one walked– Not to mention that the double sided railing was smooth to the touch and dark in color. The kitchen was decorated with marble countertops and a rather fancy oven and stove while the back patio was full of flowers and directly in the sunlight, but relaxing to sit in. Tobias never wanted to leave the house because of how much privacy he had in it with Nihil working fourteen hours a day sometimes, but he had to. He had to work and pick up things for Nihil every now and then. 

"Special?" Nihil called out from downstairs. Tobias was in the bathroom washing his face, his black hair pushed out of his face with a band. He lifted his head up as he was running the washcloth over it, washing off all of the soap as Nihil yelled from downstairs. "Will you be stopping by the church tonight?"

"I believe so, Papa," Tobias yelled back. He spit out some of the soap that he had accidentally gotten in his mouth then washed over his face with water to get all the excess soap off as well.

"Can you pick something up for me after you've finished your duties there?" Nihil asked, "I won't have time."

Tobias rolled his eyes behind his eyelids. "Yes, I can."

"Thank you, my ghoul. Your help means everything to me." Tobias, again, rolled his eyes from the nickname and his following statement, but didn't say a word about it. Downstairs, Nihil grabbed what he needed then opened the door to leave. "I'll be back in the evening."

"Yeah, alright," Tobias mumbled as he yanked a towel off of the rack and dried his face with it. 

Nihil left without saying another word, closing and locking the door behind him since he knew that Tobias would forget to. Tobias stood in silence to hear when the car that escorted Nihil everywhere pulled out of the driveway. It took a couple minutes, but once he was gone, Tobias sighed in relief. 

The relationship between him and Nihil had never been much of anything. Before now, Nihil was simply a distant grandfather; nothing more. Tobias had met him and attended church events when Nihil had been present, but other than that they had little to no history or connection. Some days it felt as if he were living with a stranger. He and Nihil didn't talk unless it was necessary and they didn't even eat together most days. To him, Nihil was just someone who felt bad for him because his father had left randomly.

Tobias still missed his father more than anything. He raised him and he taught him every he knew. He loved him more than anything then suddenly, he was gone. He wasn't in his life anymore. 

He hadn't gotten the chance to say goodbye. He didn't see it coming. No one in the world would've ever thought that Tobias's father would leave randomly. It didn't seem plausible. He was dedicated to raising Tobias and teaching him things. He was a happy father or so it seemed. Maybe he was unhappy on the inside and faked it on the outside. Tobias didn't know and he didn't like to think about it. He didn't want to doubt everything that he thought about his father. It hurt to do that and Tobias wasn't a fan of emotional pain. 

Every morning, Tobias put on a necklace that he always wore. He didn't want to forget him and he always wanted to carry a piece of his father with him. It was a silver necklace with a small grucifix hanging from it. Tobias didn't care if it looked evil or not. He wore it anyway. 

Tobias wasn't trying to give Stockholm a chance. He was trying to save money so that he could leave and go back to Linköping. He wasn't a fan of change and recently, too much had been changing in his life. He had had enough of it. 

As always, Tobias got ready to leave to tend to his duties at the church with dread flooding over him. He didn't let that stop him. His drive to move back was stronger than his hatred for doing things. 

Before he left, he took a few moments to talk nonsensically to himself, and maybe a deity if one was listening, as he paced around the house. He didn't want to feel as if he was alone, but that's what he was. Nihil cared about his job and not anyone else. Tobias knew that. At least his father cared when he was around, and hopefully, somehow, he was looking out for him now that he wasn't.


	2. Chapter Two

## Chapter Two

At the church, Tobias did various things. He cleaned up the alters, printed pamphlets, polished various items that were displayed on alters... Basically all the jobs that no one else wanted to do. He wasn't allowed to interact with anyone who came up to him and he was instructed by Nihil to not ask questions about those he saw around the church. Tobias aware that those who attended the church weren't entirely... human, but it didn't bother him. His father hadn't been human either. He was an antipope himself, but he was a step below Nihil since Nihil was his father. 

Tobias often wondered about himself and what he was. When he was around others from the church, he went by the name Special. He didn't know why, but his father had told him not to ask– That it was his given name and that titles shouldn't be questioned. Tobias obeyed, but that didn't stop him from thinking about what the name could entail. 

The people in the church were of many different species. Some were demons, some were ghouls, others were spirits, or some were a mix of just about everything. Most didn't look human due to their kind, but others did. They were the ones who could leave the church and lead a double life if that's what they wanted. A handful of people wore masks to hide their identity or what they looked like in general, but Tobias didn't see them around much. According to Nihil, they were the outcasts that tried desperately to fit in, but to no avail. If anything, most of them were his servants or servants to one of his counterparts.

Compared to the others, Tobias was normal looking. He passed as human. He stood at five feet and ten inches and was skinny. To compliment his pale skin and bright green eyes, he had short black hair that he oftentimes spiked up. To some, he didn't look completely human, although to other humans he did. It was mostly his aura and attitude that gave him the appearance of a man who wasn't like other men. Within him was an unleashed beast, one that he felt all too often. Tobias never released it, though. He was afraid of what could come of it and since he was told never to question it, he never called it to attention. One day, it would become unbound, but that day had yet to come. 

To hide the fact that demonic creatures walked upon the face of the earth, the church was located in the thick of the forest miles away from Stockholm. The drive was a pain in the ass, but soon they wouldn't have to make it. They'd be moving to church property and be within walking distance of the chapels. 

The forest was mostly black. That didn't bother Tobias. He wasn't afraid of the dark or what lived within it. Although he felt uneasy at times, he knew it was just his nerves getting the best of him. He was well aware that Nihil could protect him if something were to go wrong with anything regarding the forest or the church. Tobias wasn't going to provoke anything, though. 

"Excuse me, but are you Special?" A voice asked as he stood behind an alter. 

Tobias popped his head up and hesitated, unsure of what to do. He had never been spoken to, but he couldn't ignore the lady, who had three eyes and three horns to match, that was staring at him. Nodding slowly, he opted to reply to be polite, "Yes, I am. Why do you ask?"

"Papa Nihil wanted me to inform you that he expects you to clean the blood that was spilled from an execution in the execution hall downstairs. Do you know where it is?"

"I... Yes, yes, I do... Thank you."

The lady smiled and bowed her head slightly before walking out of the small chapel, leaving Tobias to sigh to himself. The interaction was short, but that was enough for him. His energy level was slim to none and he didn't have any desire to clean up blood from whatever had happened in the hall.

He didn't like being alone in the chapel. Of course, there were others who roamed the church in its monstrous entirety throughout the day, but they weren't in the chapel at the moment. Tobias was cleaning and watching over the chapel by himself. It didn't make him nervous because he wasn't scared of the community or the people– He just liked company. However, he only liked the company of some. He was picky with who he liked and who he didn't like. 

Tobias grabbed what he needed to clean the blood before he made his way out of the chapel. As always, he was dreading doing any sort of work, but he didn't even think about disobeying. He had yet to be punished or scolded by Nihil, but he didn't want to. The old antipope was scary. The way that his eyes didn't have any pupils sometimes made Tobias freeze in his spot and cower in fear. He couldn't imagine how he'd react to Nihil yelling at him and looking him in the eyes while doing so. 

Against his own free will and the voice in his head telling him to stay away from the blood, Tobias went to the hall and began cleaning before it could stain the floor. The church wasn't a place for him. Neither was Stockholm. All he wanted to do was go home and have his father back. 

-

"Did you tend to your duties?" Nihil asked Tobias as he lounged on the couch with cucumber slices over his eyes, as if he were royalty. 

It was pushing eleven at night and Tobias was just about done with everything. The last thing that he wanted was a conversation with his grandfather. 

"Yes," Tobias answered shortly. 

Nihil nodded and continued to relax as Tobias fooled around with the strings of his guitar. He was fixing the D string since it had snapped a few days earlier. Tobias was good with guitars and basses. Throughout his years, he had been in bands that made rock and metal songs. His father came to every show and he supported him whenever he didn't have to work with Nihil or the church. 

Now Tobias always felt upset when he picked up one of his guitars. It made him think of his father. He would perform songs for him in private and he would sing to him whenever he wanted him to. He loved it when he sang from the heart. The words would fall from Tobias's lips effortlessly and create poems within thin air. Those were his father's favorites. After he left, Tobias never sang aimlessly again. He refused to. 

Tobias's hands froze as he was fixing the string. He was too busy thinking about his father. Nihil caught sight of Tobias after he had removed the cucumber slices from his eyes and raised his eyebrows. 

Nihil knew that Tobias was still dealing with his father's disappearance. They didn't talk about it because Tobias would shut down the conversation before Nihil could offer anything to him. After awhile, Nihil stopped bringing it up, but that didn't stop him from asking how Tobias felt whenever he seemed upset about something. 

"What is bothering you now, Special?" Nihil spoke up. 

Tobias snapped himself out of his mind and he looked over at Nihil. A thin layer of tears glossed his eyes, but he blinked them back. Shaking his head, he said, "Nothing, Papa Nihil."

Nihil frowned. He knew that Tobias was lying. "Alright." Standing from the couch with a groan and a few cracks of his bones, he sighed and began to munch on the cucumbers he had used for his eyes. "I have things to do before bed... Go to sleep."

"Okay," Tobias mumbled. He went back to fixing the guitar as Nihil's gaze lingered on him. Tobias felt it, but he wasn't going to look at him. He knew that Nihil had seen the tears in his eyes. He didn't want to look at him again for the rest of the night because of it. 

Nihil silently left as Tobias finished up with the guitar. He grabbed the guitar by the neck carefully and carried it upstairs to his room after he shut off all the lights downstairs. He didn't say goodnight to Nihil and Nihil didn't say it to him. That wasn't something that they did.

Although he wasn't supposed to do so outside of the church, he prayed. He prayed to whoever was listening and asked for his father to return, hoping that someone could hear him and somehow respond. So far, no one had replied. That got to Tobias after awhile, but he kept trying. He wasn't going to give up until he heard something back. 

He set the guitar back on its stand before he got ready for bed. Processing emotions wasn't easy for Tobias to begin with and with how much had changed in his life overnight, he wasn't handling it well. He couldn't feel certain things anymore, but then he felt too much of other things.

Nothing was balanced out. Nothing was equal. Nothing was fair. 

As he lay in bed, Tobias tried to get to sleep as thoughts swarmed around his head. They wouldn't slow down and they wouldn't cease in the slightest. He groaned audibly then angrily grabbed his pillow, flipping it over to the other side as an attempt to rest his head on the cooler face of it. After nearly an hour of fighting with his own mind, he fell asleep, his last thought of the night being about his father.


	3. Chapter Three

## Chapter Three

Tobias was in the chapel alone again while Nihil worked. He had nothing left to do, but since he hadn't been told he could leave, he sat in the doorway of the exit that lead outside and allowed his mind to wander. 

It was a warm day outside. It was windy as usual, but Tobias didn't think it wouldn't be windy. The wind drove him crazy sometimes. It would blow in through the crack in his window sill back in his room in Stockholm and whistle and hiss almost relentlessly. He contemplated putting plastic over his window just to quiet the noise down. 

The bells of the church were tolling and making his ears ring, but he didn't move. Tobias didn't have the energy to do anything. Back when his father was around, he was always interested in everything and he wanted to do something whenever possible. He and his father would take small trips and spends hours, days even, talking and bonding with one another. His father meant everything to him. He missed their private excursions and their in depth conversations. He missed everything he once had. 

Outside, people were singing. Tobias rolled his eyes and silently wished that they would shut up. He hated how often he heard the choir singing their dark orchestral psalms. Nihil told him that they were practicing in order to impress the clergy, which is where he sat, but whenever they passed by, they paid no attention to the choir. Tobias didn't see why they kept insisting upon singing, but he didn't complain about it audibly. He hadn't made anyone upset yet and he didn't have any intentions to. 

After awhile, Tobias stood up and walked back inside. At first, he couldn't see since the sun had blinded him, but by the time he was standing in the middle of the alter and his vision had come back, people had come into view. 

Five men and two women were at the back of the chapel near the beginning of the aisle. They were wearing silver masks with horns and sharp chins, and they were all staring straight at him. They all wore black cassocks and fascias, and shoes that were also black. Tobias raised his eyebrows and wondered why they were all standing in the chapel, but didn't say anything. Instead, he stayed where he was to mind his own business. 

Four of the men were considerably built while the other male, however, was much skinnier. When the small one caught his gaze, he cocked his head sharply, easily driving Tobias's focus off of him. He seemed to be younger than the others, much like a good population of the church. The ladies looked to be in their late-twenties as they stood on either end of the horizontal lineup they were in. 

Tobias had no idea who these people were. From the amount of times that he had walked around the church, he thought that he would've noticed these creatures. These people and their masks didn't look familiar at all. 

"Can I... help you?" Tobias asked as he looked at them.

He didn't get a reply. The others stood there in silence and blinked without moving. Tobias began to grow uneasy, but he didn't let that show. 

Instead, he spoke again and stepped down from the alter, making his way to them while speaking, "Is there anything I may assist you with?"

All seven of them stared him down and remained silent, smirks on their faces. Tobias felt a bit intimidated, but he didn't let that stop him. 

"No," one spoke from behind the mask. Tobias couldn't pinpoint which one had spoken, so he settled to look at the one who was right in front of him. 

"Oh, well... This is the chapel, you know. Not many people come in here during this time," Tobias said as he motioned toward the empty pews and alter. 

The creatures looked at the chapel for only a moment then looked at Tobias again. Tobias felt a chill run up his spine– One that told him that he might've made a mistake confronting these people. Before he knew it, the one in front of him took a step forward. Tobias didn't have to wait until they were standing toe to toe to realize that he was a good four inches taller than him. He tilted his head back to look up at him and fought off the urge to run back onto the alter. 

"And who might you be?" The man asked, his voice so low that Tobias could've mistaken it for a growl. 

"I... I'm Special, sir," Tobias told him, "Papa Nihil's, uh... my grandfather, sort of."

"Whose son are you?" He questioned as he reached out and touched the grucifix that laid upon Tobias's chest. Tobias inhaled sharply and fear flashed across his face before he could control it, going still so he wouldn't show any more signs of weakness. Tobias didn't reply verbally. His voice was gone. The man suddenly took a grip on the necklace and tugged to force Tobias closed to him, but stopped just before their chests could touch. "I said... whose son are you?"

"I– I..."

"Tell me," he hissed out.

Tobias's eyes went wide and he nearly passed out. He didn't know why he wanted to know who his father was, but he wasn't about to take the time to ask. 

"Papa Emeritus the Second... He– he's my father... W- was my father..."

"So, Nihil is your grandfather?"

"Yes... Yes, he is, very much so."

Suddenly, the man set let him go then walked away from Tobias without saying another word. Tobias breathed heavily, his eyes wild as if they were mimicking his heart rate. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. No one had come up to him and asked him about his father or Nihil before. If Tobias didn't hate this enough already, he did then. 

The others followed in suit of the one who had grabbed Tobias, but one lagged behind. He wasn't menacing like the rest. He was a bit chubby and had the brightest blue eyes that Tobias had ever seen. He was simply staring at Tobias as he slowly began following the others.

They shared eye contact for a moment before he flinched abruptly and sped off down the hall, his coattails rippling behind him as he walked. Tobias didn't get to say a word to him. 

After that, Tobias shuddered and stepped back after he shut the door, making sure to lock it and every other door and window in the chapel along with it. The thought of them coming back and threatening him nearly ate him alive. He had never seen those people before and he hadn't met anyone like them. He was drawing a blank for who they could've been, but that didn't stop his entire train of thought. 

He checked outside again to see if they were lingering around the property, but he didn't see them. That didn't calm his nerves, though. He sat down on the steps of the alter with his heart racing and his eyes blown wide, waiting anxiously for Nihil to send him home.


	4. Chapter Four

## Chapter Four

"I have to stay there all day? Don't you think that's a little much?"

"You must be devoted to the church, Special."

"I know, but Papa Nihil, I–"

"There's a dinner tonight, if you'd like to join. Would that make you feel better, my son?"

"Not... really, no," Tobias said tastelessly as he softly glared at Nihil. He didn't want to be at the church all day, but it was better than doing nothing at home. That was the only upside to it. "What do I have to do?"

"Guard the sanctuary for me, will you please?" he told him, "I know you like to be alone."

Tobias almost spoke up and told him otherwise, but didn't. He sighed and rubbed the side of his neck gently, his eyes moving to gaze at the floor, which desperately needed to be mopped. "Yeah... I mean, yes, Papa Nihil."

"You may not go in the sanctuary, Special. You must stay outside the doors and make sure no one gets in," Nihil said strictly as he looked Tobias in the eye. Tobias tensed up slightly and nodded obediently under his stare. Nihil knew how to scare him into doing something. He gave Tobias a smile then started walking away from him. "You may stay home tomorrow after you're done with today."

"Oh, thank you, Papa."

Before he could say anything else to him, Nihil was gone. Tobias was convinced that he hated talking to him. He seemed so condescending and everything seemed so forced. Tobias didn't want to ask him if he disliked him, though. They weren't close and Tobias didn't want to get blamed for accusing him of something. 

The incident from earlier in the week was still bothering him. The people hadn't been back, but he doubted that they vanished for good. At the church, he kept a lookout for people who looked or talked like them, but to no avail. That bothered him, but it also relieved him. Hopefully he wouldn't run into them again. 

He thought that they might've been a set of foreign clergy members, but he would've seen them before. He would've known who they were. The man who spoke to him had an accent of some sort, but Tobias couldn't pinpoint what it was. That's what confused him. He knew that it was likely for creatures of all walks of life to come through, but he was entirely uncertain of this particular group. They were unlike anything he had ever come across and he wasn't sure if he wanted to become acquainted with them. They didn't seem to be the type to be nice. 

Tobias didn't know much about the specifics of other creatures. The church in Linköping didn't have many. Now in Stockholm, he seemed to be surrounded by things he had never even imagined. It's like he couldn't walk a single foot without running into someone who was either horned or had bright yellow eyes.

He didn't think creatures who wasn't familiar with were bad. He was mostly curious about them. He wanted to know about everything he came across and even though that was impossible, he couldn't kill that part of him. He'd always want to find out more about someone or something. That was a part of his nature. He had his father to thank for that.

Papa II was upfront with people. He asked personal questions and blew them off when they responded, but kept note of what they said. He enjoyed finding out what made people tick and he loved to know what each creature was capable of. Tobias was the same way. He enjoyed carrying a part of his father with him. 

Throughout the day, people came up and down the hall without paying Tobias much attention. Even though no one even stepped near the sanctuary, Tobias kept a close eye on them to see if he could spot the people from before. None of them were any of the people who had been in the chapel. They were either people he had known for years or people just walking by. That eased him a bit since he stopped expecting someone to come and look for him after awhile. 

Like he had done many times before, he daydreamed and thought of whatever came to mind. There was nothing do while guarding the door. He felt the need to pray and ask someone where his father was, but he resisted the urge to avoid coming off as weird. Of course that was hard to do in a setting like that, but Tobias wasn't taking any chances. He didn't want people to jump on Nihil for having a weak grandson. He'd be the laughing stock of the church and people would rip on Nihil for his actions. He could spare his depression for later on when he was in private for his own sake and for Nihil's. 

Nihil had been working more than usual that week. Tobias didn't bother to ask why or ask what he was working on because he didn't care. He knew that Nihil would make the conversation short. There was no point in talking to him most of the time. They had nothing in common and they didn't have a strong relationship. Tobias wasn't looking to make one with him anyway. 

He respected Nihil for working and supporting the family, but that didn't erase the times that Tobias felt odd around him, even as a child. Nihil seemed to be the weird member of the family. He was distant and cold, and even Tobias's father mentioned it at times. For the longest time, Papa II and Papa Nihil didn't get along, and Nihil was his father. It's like sometimes he stayed away from home on purpose when he wasn't working. Even then, Tobias noticed that his father wasn't happy about it. He knew that because he wasn't happy about it either. 

His uncles didn't like their father at all. Whenever he would come home, they'd ignore him. After a couple visits, he did the same. They would hardly speak to each other. 

Now that Tobias was older, he realized how dysfunctional his family was. His grandfather was out of the picture for most of his life, his uncles hated their father and completely vanished after his father had left, and Tobias had no real parent left in his life. He wished that he could go back in time and make everything better. He wished that he could've given his father a reason to stay. He blamed himself for his disappearance constantly. 

Tobias was staring off into space when someone walked down the hall. It was midnight and Nihil would be done with his work within the hour. Tobias was tired and had depressed himself from the thought of his father. He didn't realize that someone else was in the hall with him until they grabbed him by the shoulder. 

Tobias flinched up and quickly came back to reality to see who had grabbed him. His pulse was suddenly beating wildly and he was taking a couple seconds to calm down. 

That was until he saw the knife that a man with the same mask he had seen earlier that week was holding as his hand rested by his side. 

"What do you want?" Tobias asked calmly as he raised his hands up. He swallowed thickly and audibly, willing himself to not look at the knife again. "I have nothing, I'm... I'm sorry, I don't have anything to give you."

"I'm not here to hurt you," the man spoke up, his eyes focused on Tobias's. 

Tobias nodded slowly and bit back the sarcastic response about the knife that he wanted to spill out. He looked down the hall and didn't see anyone else. All he saw when he looked back at the man were his eyes. 

"Wait..." Tobias mumbled as he stared at the coloring of them. He knew those eyes. His pulse sped up even more and he thought that he was bound to pass out at any given moment now. "You... You were in the chapel."

"Yeah, sorry for scaring you," he chuckled out with a small smile to follow. Tobias could tell that he was smiling from the crinkles that had formed by his eyes.

Tobias was surprised. It was the male who had lingered behind to look at him. Now that Tobias was face to face with him, he realized just how... not intimidating he was. He had a Swedish accent and his black cassock clung to his body in a way that fit his figure. He was still wearing the mask, but Tobias didn't care about that.

"Um..." Tobias cleared his throat, his hands still up, "Your... Your leader... I don't think he wants me talking to anyone related to you guys."

"That wasn't my leader, but that's why I'm here," the man said, "I'm helping you out of here."

"Helping me?" Tobias asked. Now he was confused. He had a guy right in front of him holding a knife in the middle of the night in an empty hall and he wanted to help him out? Tobias was lost. More than lost. "What?"

"My superior. He's waiting for you to get out to your car," the man told him. 

"Why?" Tobias immediately asked as his eyes went wide. "What did I do? I just spoke to him, I didn't mean to piss him off, I-"

"Shh..." The man said as he pressed the tip of the knife to Tobias's lips. Tobias shut up and made eye contact with him again. A typical Swedish man with blue eyes, an accent, and a built stature. Not to mention his friendliness. He and Tobias stood at the same level, but Tobias was too scared to notice. "You didn't do anything. Wrong place, wrong time."

Tobias didn't want to say anything. Not while he had a knife pressed to his lips. He had too many questions and thoughts running through his mind at a million miles an hour, but he had to keep them in. 

"Follow me," the man instructed. He took the knife off of Tobias's lips and motioned for him to follow. Tobias wasn't about to get an attitude with someone who was armed, so he obliged without saying anything that could've jeopardized his life. 

The man lead him back into the nearest chapel and locked the door him behind them. Tobias still had his hands above his head which made the fellow male chuckle.

"You know, you can put your hands down," he said, "I won't stab you."

Tobias was hesitant. He didn't want to take any chances, but then again, he didn't want to disobey orders from someone with a knife. Slowly, he lowered his arms and pressed his back to the wall, looking over the man in front of him before asking, "Why did he want to know so much about me and why is he here?"

"Well, that, I can't tell you," he said with a shrug. He leaned against the wall parallel to the one that Tobias was against, tucking the knife back into its holster and covering it with his cassock. "I'm Omega, by the way. Martin, if you'd like to use that instead. I already know your real name, but... say it anyway."

The comment didn't soothe Tobias at all. He couldn't help but breathe heavily and quickly. An anxiety attack was coming on and he wasn't able to stop it. It was nerve wracking to know that he was practically being stalked and hunted down with no knowledge or clue as to why it was happening. 

Martin noticed that Tobias was suffering from an attack of some sort which worried him. He hadn't seen anyone react this way before. This wasn't something he did regularly. In fact, this was the first time he was ever intervening with something that his clergy did.

"Oh, no, hey... Hey, calm down," Martin said as he walked over to Tobias. He placed his hands on his shoulders as he heaved, smiling at him softly to try to get his attention. "If you want, I can let you hold my knife just so you know I won't use it on you. I'll get it out right now and-"

"Y-you're gonna fuck– Fucking stab me," Tobias stammered out through his uneven breathing. 

"No, no, I won't. That would be mean," Martin told him, "Stay in here, I'll be right back. I'll get you out of this, alright?"

Tobias didn't nod. He didn't do anything. Martin patted his shoulder before he ran out of the chapel, making sure to shut the door completely before walking away. 

Martin had officially begun doing work for his clergy two weeks earlier. He was new and still figuring out how to do things. His brother, Alpha, talked him into it and so did his mother. He didn't have a choice but to work just like they had. It was a vicious family cycle and he wasn't about to break it.

Without saying anything, Martin made his way down the hall with his eyes searching for his superior. He came around the corner only to be roughly grabbed by the shoulder and shoved up against the wall. His head smacked against the concrete and he groaned in pain, going silent as soon as his superior wrapped his hand around his throat. 

"Omega!" He whispered violently to him. Martin didn't struggle for air. He took in slow breaths when he could. He knew better than to struggle. "Where is he, did you get him?!"

"No, it's not him," Martin stammered out, "The grandson... grandson is h-here."

"Special?"

"Y- yes..."

His grip loosened on Martin's neck and he took a step back before he completely let go. Martin took a quiet, deep breath in then looked up at him, waiting for him to say something. 

"The one who yelled at us?" He asked, his head tilting slightly. 

Martin nodded slowly. "Yeah... Yes, that one. Nihil isn't here. I didn't see him."

"Oh. Well." The man stopped talking and went motionless and silent for a minute. Martin didn't know what else to say, but suddenly before he could, the man lurched for him with a growl, "Why did you follow me? You know better." His superior grabbed his neck tighter than before, causing Martin to grunt and squeeze his eyes shut. 

"I-I..." He could hardly speak with how hard the grip was. He kept his eyes shut as he got a few rough breaths in, his hands coming up to grab the wrist of his superior. "Wanted t-to do some... Something. I'm sorry."

"Don't do it again. Your brother may be Alpha, but you're still Omega," his superior seethed. 

Once again, the grip on his neck was loosened. Martin took in another breath and opened his eyes to look up at his superior. He licked over his lips and went quiet, a sting of embarrassment running through him. 

"Watch this 'Special' idiot," his superior demanded, "since you want to prove yourself so badly."

"Yes, sir," Martin said weakly, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it sometimes, Omega."

His superior walked away before Martin could get another word out. Martin knew better than to talk back to him. He didn't want to be punished and he didn't want to be an embarrassment to his family. His brother was next in line to be the superior and he didn't want to put a bad image to his name. 

Martin waited until his superior had left the hall completely before he ran back into the chapel. He knocked on the door and waited for Tobias to open it. It took about a minute before he did so, but it happened nonetheless. 

"He's gone. I told him everything," Martin said to Tobias, who looked a bit calmer than before. Tobias stood up from the floor and nodded, speechless and unable to get any words out of him at the moment. 

Martin looked over Tobias's face and didn't say anything. He never had much contact with anyone outside of the clergy or his family. He never spoke to others because he hardly allowed in public. That would be too risky. His parents didn't want him around others for long because they knew the dangers that he would face. They weren't human and they looked it at times, too. Keeping Martin and his brother, Simon, home was the best thing to do. They were born into their clergy of outcasts and they'd climb the ladder as a way of life. 

Martin didn't know what a normal life was, but he figured that his clergy wasn't too bad. They all had each other's backs, even though sometimes things were stressful and tight. His mother would worry about his father constantly and she'd worry about his brother as well. They were tight knit family, even though Martin felt ignored sometimes.

"Don't tell anyone I was here," Martin told Tobias, "I don't break my family's promise and you don't break this. Got it?"

"Why, what do you want?" Tobias asked quietly. 

Martin wasn't about to say anything else. He shrugged it off then opened the door for Tobias. "Go. I'll keep an eye on you from now on. Don't be afraid to talk to me, alright? I'll be alone. Nobody follows me anyway."

Tobias didn't understand what Martin was talking about, but he wasn't about to push his luck any further than he already had just from existing. He exited the chapel and stood near the wall that was parallel to the door, turning to look at Martin when he heard him rustling his cassock. 

"Is that ripped?" Tobias asked quietly. Martin looked at him with part of his cassock in his hand, his eyes moving from the material to Tobias's eyes quickly. 

"Oh, yeah, but only a little," Martin said.

Tobias nodded slowly and raised his eyebrows. He didn't know how he could help Martin with a problem like that and he wasn't sure how to respond. Instead of leaving him in silence, he forced out a short reply, "You should fix that."

"Yeah, I should."

"How did you..." Tobias started out. Before he could ask, he shut himself up. 

Then it was Martin's turn to raise his eyebrows. "What? Finish your sentence."

"...I'm just wondering if you accidentally cut your cassock when you were holding that knife by your side."

Martin couldn't help but laugh. Tobias was right. That's exactly what he had done. "You're smart. How did you know? ...It'll be fixed the next time I see you, don't worry."

Tobias gave a nervous laugh, swallowing afterwards. "Oh... heh, yeah. Next time."

Martin lowered his cassock then looked down the hall. He didn't want to leave because it felt like Tobias and him were having a conversation. Even though Tobias looked as if he was about to pass out, Martin was enjoying it. He wasn't used to talk to people outside of the family and now, he was starting to like it. 

"Well, I'll see ya'," Martin said as he started walking, "Goodnight, Special."

Tobias watched him walk away and spoke before he could leave, "Yeah... Bye, Omega."

Once Martin was gone, Tobias grew paranoid again. He quickly locked the chapel doors then grabbed his things from the door of the sanctuary. He had never run down the hall quicker than he did that night. When he got into his car, he checked the trunk and the backseat at least five times before he decided that he was safe and in the clear to drive home. 

Tobias didn't know why all of this was happening. He didn't know why people were keeping tabs on him. It scared him. He didn't mean to get involved with anything, although he didn't know how he ended up in a situation like this. It seemed beyond him. He didn't leave the house unless he had to go to the church or pick up things for his grandfather. He didn't even talk to anyone in the city except for Nihil.

When Tobias got home, Nihil wasn't there, but there had been no signs of anyone being in the house. It eased him a bit to know that no one had targeted them privately. Instead of sleeping upstairs, he fell asleep on the couch. He didn't want to be upstairs by himself. Not now that he knew that people were out to get him.


	5. Chapter Five

## Chapter Five

For once in his life, Nihil was sick and decided to stay home rather than go to the church. Since Nihil never did that, Tobias took it seriously and cared for him however he could. Although him and his grandfather weren't close, he still had to make sure that he felt alright. That was the least that he could do. 

He did everything that his father would do for him whenever he felt ill. He made soup and he set up a humidifier and set a bowl by Nihil in case he felt like he was going to get sick. He also set out medicine for him and kept an eye on his temperature and him in general. 

"Are you sure you want me to go out and get that thing for you at the church?" Tobias asked as he slipped on his shoes, "I can stay here and take care of you if you want me to."

"No, I need those messages. I need to look them over," Nihil insisted. 

"You're sick, Papa Nihil."

"But I must work, Special," Nihil said. He sighed from his spot on the couch and shook his head before he waved his hand towards the door. "Just... Go. Now."

Tobias went quiet as he looked over his grandfather. He was hesitant to leave. He knew that he was sick and he didn't want to lose him. There were people watching him- but Nihil didn't know that since Tobias wasn't about to tell him due to the threat he got- and Tobias was worried for his safety. He didn't want to crack and tell Nihil what had happened. He'd be yelled at for talking to people at the church and Tobias didn't want that. 

"Alright. I'll go," Tobias gave in, "but ring me if you need anything."

Nihil nodded and gave Tobias the information that he needed to get to where his belongings were in the church. This wouldn't be the first time that Tobias would be going to that specific room, but knowing him, he would get lost. Tobias didn't know the church all that well and he chose to ignore most things about it. He thought that it was pointless to find his way around since he hated being there. 

Before he left, he made sure that all the doors were locked and that Nihil had the phone by him. He didn't want anything to happen to him. He didn't want anyone to come into the house and hurt him while he was out. 

The thought of Martin lingered in his mind. He barely knew him, but apparently, the guy knew nearly a lot about him. That made Tobias uneasy. He didn't want to think about it too much, but he couldn't ignore it either. That would only make him more paranoid. 

Tobias made his way to the church and walked down the countless halls that lead to Papa Nihil's room– One of them, anyway. As always, he stayed silent and kept to himself. He didn't talk to anyone in the church and he didn't glance at anyone either. That would be too much social work for him. 

Every so often, he would look over his shoulder just to see if Martin was following him. He didn't see him at all on the way there. That made him wonder where he was since Martin said that he would be keeping an eye on him. Maybe Martin was one step ahead of him or maybe he was trailing him from a distance. Tobias didn't know and he didn't care to look too hard. All he wanted to do was get home to Nihil so that neither of them would be alone. 

As Tobias walked into the room, he made his way back to the desk where his belongings were. Tobias hated being in this room. It was too eerie and there were too many statues of god knows what demons in it. Whenever he was there, he felt like he was going to jump out of his skin. He didn't see how his grandfather could work in a place like that. 

"Are you here for Papa Nihil?" A man asked as Tobias walked behind the desk. 

"Yes, sir," he answered shortly. He didn't know the man who was talking to him and he didn't want to. He was here for the messages, not a conversation.

"Is he doing alright? Papa Nihil never stays home," he continued. 

Tobias mentally rolled his eyes as he jerked open a second drawer in search for the papers. "He's fine. Sounds like a head cold from what he's told me about how he feels. He'll be back tomorrow, sir."

"He's been answering his emails. He must feel somewhat okay."

"No. He's just dedicated to the church... sir." Tobias bit back a second comment and kept searching. He didn't know where Nihil kept his things and he wasn't about to ask anyone where all of it was. 

"I'd be the same way if I were in his position. You're very lucky to be so close to him."

Tobias mumbled a quiet 'yeah' under his breath as he found the messages. He pulled them up then kicked the drawer shut without looking twice inside of it. "I suppose so, sir."

"You wouldn't want to be a Papa?"

"No, sir."

"Well... You may want to change your bloodline for that."

Tobias scoffed and tucked the papers under his arm as he walked out from behind the desk. "I wish, sir."

The man laughed and patted Tobias on the shoulder as he walked by, moving out of the way so that Tobias could walk out the door. "You're young, Special. You will change your mind someday. Would you tell Papa Nihil that we're all thinking of him?"

"Yes, sir, I will."

Tobias walked out before the man could say anything else to him. He was glad that the conversation didn't go into depth and didn't last for too long. He wasn't about to try to make friends with the people that his grandfather worked with. Never in his life would he be like that. Like living in Stockholm, talking to them would be a waste of his time. He wasn't going to come back once he was gone just to see them or the city. He was going to forget this place and pretend as if this period of his life didn't happen. 

Tobias walked back down the halls and minded his own business again. Even though there were people walking by him from time to time, he felt alone again. He felt like Nihil didn't care about him. He felt like nobody cared about him. None of them tried to contact him after his father left. It's like they all left with him. Tobias tried to not let it get to him, but that was hard to do. Pretending that he was emotionless was only easy for so long and time was running out. 

As he walked, he thought about his father walking beside him. A sudden wave of comfort washed over him and it made him feel alright for a split second. It was enough to nearly make him smile. That was a first for Tobias. He hardly ever smiled– Unless he was watching a humorous video or show. He looked around the hall for any sight of his father, but he wasn't there. He never was anymore. 

Reality hit him harshly and the blueprints slipped out from underneath his arm when he froze momentarily. He swore aloud and ran after them as they scattered around the hall. No one was around him now. This hall had been nearly empty because no one was allowed to walk down it. Tobias didn't know that, though. He only walked down that way because it was a shortcut to the front. It was only a bonus that nobody walked down that way with him. 

The papers littered the hall one by one and went in all different directions, which frustrated Tobias. It was agitating him quickly and that definitely wasn't helping his mood at all. 

Tobias grabbed all of the papers but one, which was stepped on by a black shoe right in front of his face as he leaned down to grab it. Tobias went still and his breathing stopped for a few seconds. Those shoes. He knew them. He knew this feeling and he recognized the sudden aura that was around him. 

As Tobias stumbled back, a hand came down and grabbed the paper. Tobias brought his eyes up, only for them to meet Martin's. 

"Here," Martin said as he held out the paper for him, "I thought you could use some help."

Tobias looked at the paper then at Martin again. He didn't realize that he was being followed. He would've sensed it, but Martin must've been better at watching him than he realized. 

He took the paper from Martin and placed it with the others, tucking all of them under his arm. "Thanks..."

"Don't worry. We all drop things sometimes," Martin said. 

The both of them stood in silence for a short moment. Their eyes occasionally flickered across one another's face and they tried not to make eye contact. Martin didn't know what to say to Tobias. He was watching him and making sure that he wouldn't leave town. While Tobias wasn't a target, he could be helpful in the long run. Tobias didn't know that though, and Martin wasn't planning on telling him. 

Tobias was trying not to question anything. He didn't want Martin to press another knife to his lips. Once was enough for him. Having a heart attack at thirty didn't seem appealing to him either. 

"Musty hallway, isn't it?" Martin asked as he glanced at the walls around them. 

As his eyebrows knitted together, Tobias took a quick look up at the walls then looked at Martin again. "Sure... If you think _this_ is musty."

"It's not too bad, but I don't like things that are dirty," Martin said with a shrug, "They bother me."

"You'd hate my room back home, then," Tobias said with a scoff, "I'm messy."

"I'm sure it isn't too bad. Don't worry." Martin shrugged again and looked down. He didn't know what to say next. It's not like he planned on talking Tobias that day. To avoid standing in silence, he asked Tobias a question, "Are you from Sweden?"

"Yes, I am. Linköping. You?"

"Ah, same here. I was born there."

"You were?"

"I was." Martin smiled and laughed softly, "I moved at a young age, though. My family is, uh... not fond of the area and not very public with themselves."

"Well, I figured since you're involved with the church here," Tobias couldn't help but scoff. "I was raised the same way to a certain extent. My father was never too strict about me staying at home since he wanted me to have a life of some sort, but I never attended school."

"Yeah," Martin said with a laugh, "I know it sounds weird, but that's what my family did, too. They were afraid for my safety."

"I can't blame them. This world is shit," Tobias agreed. 

"It is, isn't it?" He said as a smile curved his lips. He had a nice smile, but he didn't smile at home much. There was too much tension to smile. "I wish I could live somewhere else."

"Why can't you?"

Martin couldn't answer that question. He went quiet and looked away from Tobias, his gaze falling on a crack in the floor. Tobias went quiet right along with him. The awkward silence hung over them and just from standing in front of him, Martin could feel Tobias's nerves rising. 

"You shouldn't walk down this hall," Martin warned him, "Mold, you know... It's dangerous."

"...This is coming from the guy who held a knife to my lips a few days ago. That's dangerous."

"I'm protecting you," Martin reminded him, "and it wasn't as sharp as it could've been."

"Why carry an dull knife?"

"Because I want to."

Tobias shrugged it off. He didn't see why anyone would carry a weapon that couldn't be used for its intended purpose. Tobias had never owned a knife, but he was good at throwing them. As a kid and as a teenager, his father would teach him how to defend himself against any beings, human or not, that wanted him dead. His speciality had been throwing knives. Tobias had good aim, but he refused to hurt anyone or anything. He wasn't a fan of killing things for sport. 

Martin hadn't hunted animals either. He had never killed anything in his life. He wished that his family could say the same, but they couldn't. They didn't keep it a secret either. To avoid being caught, they spoke in their native language– One related to speaking in tongues. Almost nobody outside of their clergy spoke or understood it, which is why they used it to their advantage. Martin knew that killing was wrong, but his parents told him that some people and things deserved it. He wished that he could've expressed his disagreement with them, but he never did. He didn't want to see what consequences he would face for something like that. 

"You should get home. I heard that Nihil is sick," Martin said after a couple minutes. 

"Why do you watch me?" Tobias asked. He couldn't help but let the question spill out. "Did I do something?"

"No, trust me. You didn't. None of this has to do with you. But knowing... People... They could try to get to you. That's why I watch you. If they see me, they'll know to back off," Martin explained as best as he could. 

"What are you in? An assassination clergy or something? Do all you do is kill people?"

"I can't say."

"Are you guys murderers? Soul eaters? What?" Tobias asked with his voice a bit more harsh. Martin looked away again and fooled with a loose thread hanging from the sleeve of his cassock, not responding right away. "I've never been faced with shit like this. I don't fucking understand what you guys want from me– From _us_. None of this happened before we came to this fucking place and I'd really fucking appreciate it if you told me what the hell is going on."

"I can't tell you, it isn't my place to say," Martin said to him like he had the previous night, "and I don't want to get hurt."

Tobias scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Sure. Your safety is more valuable than mine. My bad. I should've known."

"No, it isn't, I just-"

"Don't fucking talk to me again. Watch me all you want. I don't care. I'm not looking to be your friend or get involved in whatever the fuck you're into," Tobias told him brutally. Martin looked at him with a bit of hurt in his eyes. Tobias caught onto that quickly, but he didn't care. He was telling the truth. "Forget you know me and I'll do the same for you. From now on, I'll pretend like I don't see you and if I do, I'll act like it's a figment of my imagination."

Martin didn't know what to say. He felt guilty suddenly. A part of him knew that he shouldn't be doing something like this, but he didn't know any better. He wasn't raised in a traditional way. That's why he was so scared of messing up and giving away too many details. 

"I'm sorry," Martin apologized with emotion present in his voice. Again, Tobias noticed it, but it didn't make him care. "I wish I could tell you why everything is the way that it is, but I can't."

"Then I'll leave you to dwell on it." Tobias walked past him without giving Martin another look. "Keep shit to yourself from now on. I'm not interested."

Martin didn't say anything after that. He watched Tobias walk off and he sighed to himself. The guilt was spreading across him like a wild fire– Slowly gaining heat and taking down everything in its path. The fire wasn't strong enough to destroy the roots in Martin's mind of what he knew. As quickly as the fire had started, Martin put it out and went on with what he was supposed to do.


	6. Chapter Six

## Chapter Six

A week passed and Martin was still watching Tobias. He had to keep an eye on him. While he knew that Tobias wasn't a direct target, he still had to follow orders. Also knowing the people in the clergy, they would do anything they could in order to get their way and get what they wanted. Martin didn't want Tobias to be a victim of something that he had no control over. 

His parents were proud of him for following orders. They praised him for it. It felt good, but he still felt weird. He felt like something was wrong; that he shouldn't be doing something like that. He couldn't say that to his parents, though. Even though they had raised him, they would cut ties with him immediately. They would still know everything about him and they'd keep tabs on him, but they wouldn't reach out to him unless the situation absolutely called for it. 

Martin had seen people come in and drift away from the dark temptations of the occult. When people would marry someone involved with the clergy he was in, they'd have to lose all contact with their family outside of the group. After that, they'd be stuck with whoever they married. Once people left, the clergy watched them. They kept up with what was going on in their life and kept all their information. That always sent a chill down Martin's spine. It all felt like a trap or a scandal. But he didn't know anything else and he always convinced himself that he was overthinking. After that, he'd be fine for a few days until the thoughts would come back and he would have to silence them. 

There were things that Martin wanted to do normally. He wanted to have a job and he wanted to have friends. He never got to live a normal life as a kid or as a young adult, but he didn't know that. For awhile, he thought that every person was raised the way that he was. It wasn't until he was older and realized what the occult was that he knew that his life was far different from the lives of others. It made him jealous at first, but then he thought that maybe it wasn't so bad. His family was never poor and they always had food to eat, but they could never go out in public and keep their doors unlocked. He had seen people die more often than he wanted to and he had heard about his parents being in danger more than anyone else ever did. He didn't want his life to be like that. He wanted something different. 

His brother didn't mind staying in the occult. He was ranked now. Martin was too, but not in the same way. He wasn't as insensitive and skilled as Simon, more commonly known as Alpha, was. He was still learning and still figuring out how everything worked. 

He felt out of place due to his family. They all loved being in the clergy. They said that they felt welcomed and loved and supported. Martin didn't feel that way sometimes. He was talked down to and treated like dirt. His father told him that that was how things worked and that he shouldn't question it. Martin couldn't help but question it. He wanted to know why things were the way that they were. 

Whenever that conversation would come up, he would always get the same answer. His father would tell him that this is how life worked for some people and that they couldn't leave. That if they left that they would be in danger and that they would have to gets jobs in order to have what they had. They wouldn't have a family and they wouldn't have anyone besides each other in their lives. Martin didn't see what the big deal was about working, but he knew that threats on their lives were a big deal. He wasn't going to mess with that card. 

Martin didn't want a life like Tobias's. He knew what happened to his father and he knew more than Tobias knew about his grandfather. Martin didn't want to be the one to break everything to him, which was part of the reason why he didn't tell him much the second time that they had spoken to one another. It would be too much for him to handle. It wasn't hard to tell that Tobias was still struggling to deal with the disappearance of his father and the move to Stockholm and Martin didn't want to make that worse. That would come up within time. 

At least Martin knew about his family and their secrets. Tobias didn't. Martin knew that the shock of what Tobias's family was about would nearly destroy him and he wasn't ready for that. He didn't want to watch someone else's family fall apart because of the occult and things involved with it. That would hurt him now that he was actually playing a part in it. 

Martin didn't fit the type that the clergy wanted or needed. He had feelings and emotions. He felt bad for people and he recognized when things shouldn't be done. He couldn't stop them, though. That would mean having to risk his own life just for opening his mouth. Martin couldn't do that to himself or his family. He kept quiet and let things happen, even though they sometimes kept him up at night. 

"Omega," his superior, Robert, called out from the living room. Martin was upstairs in his room toying with his mask when he sat up to hear him better, a part of him dreading to hear what could've been coming. "Come down here."

"On my way," Martin shouted back so he could hear. He set his mask down then stood up to smooth out his black shirt, wanting to look a bit presentable for when he went downstairs. 

There was a small meeting at Martin's house that night. He still lived with his parents, since it was common for the families to stick together however they could, but he heard that that might change soon. He didn't know why, but he was ordered not to question it. When he came downstairs, a few superiors looked at him– one being his father.

"Yes?" He questioned quietly, "You needed something, sir?"

"How is Special?" Robert asked him, "I told you to keep an eye on him."

"I saw him today and earlier this week several times. He's doing alright," Martin said as he stepped closer to the table, "I came home for dinner and I was up in my room so I wouldn't disturb you all. I apologize, sir, I'll leave and go-"

"We need you to do something for us," Robert interrupted him. 

Martin was surprised by that. Watching Tobias was a simple order. He didn't want to do anything besides that, but he knew better. He knew his place. 

"Yes, sir?"

"You're loyal to your family, yes? To those who've raised you and brought up into adulthood? You know how much they mean to you... but they wouldn't be here if it hadn't of been for things that they've done. At some point, we all must do something for the greater good, Omega."

Martin was afraid of what they were going to ask of him. He didn't want to hurt Tobias and he didn't want to kill him, but that's all that he could think about. Maybe they were going to order him to watch Tobias a bit more carefully or maybe they were sending Martin out to crack down on Nihil. Martin didn't know and he didn't speak up. Instead, he waited for his superior to explain what he needed to do. 

"One of the deadly sins is lust," Robert said lowly, "and we need you to use it, harvest it, and manipulate Special into liking and trusting you so we can encroach upon Nihil."

Martin didn't know what to say. He was at a loss for words. He didn't expect this to be the outcome of everything, but he wasn't opposed. This meant that he would make a friend. Although it was so the occult could do their job, it was still a friend more or less. "May I ask why I need him to trust me, sir?"

"Once he trusts you, he'll tell you things about his family," Robert went on, "We need information about Nihil's doings."

"Special doesn't know anything about this, sir. He's clueless," Martin told him, "He didn't even know who we were, let alone know that his grandfather messed with the wrong folks... Sir. I'm just saying... I'm sorry."

"You can turn him against his own grandfather then," Robert decided, "You can do it, can't you, Omega? For your family? For _us_?"

Martin hesitated, but nodded nonetheless. "Yes, sir. I can."

Robert gave him a smile then held his hand out to point at Martin. "Our Omega here is what we've needed this entire time... And to think that they thought we'd die out. Well, they're sadly mistaken." The ghouls smiled and looked at Martin proudly, to which Martin returned the smile and attempted to not look wary of the sudden praise. Robert patted Martin's father, Joseph, on the shoulder then laughed out, "All of your kin are flawless. Imagine if we were to have a clergy full of nothing but your obedient offspring."

The men laughed again then turned around to praise Joe. Martin smiled at his father and took a step back. 

"May I be excused, sir?" Martin asked once the men had quieted down. Once he was granted access to leave, he nodded then went upstairs to take a shower. 

As he looked at himself in the mirror, he pondered about how he could get Tobias to like him. Martin had never had a crush on someone. He was never around other people enough to develop one. He had found people attractive, but he had never done anything with them. He hadn't even kissed someone besides his own parents before. He felt nervous, but he didn't let that get in the way.

Martin knew that he could be attracted to a male. He saw beauty in them more than he did for women, but he had never told anyone that. He never expressed it much either. When other men would talk about women around him, he'd pretend to be into it. He didn't want to be looked down upon for something that he could hide. 

In magazines and in shows, Martin would look at the males and silently ogle over them. Since he was a smaller man, he was fascinated with men who were bigger and stronger than him. That didn't limit his selection, though. He liked men like himself. While Martin was built, he was still a bit chubby. However, he wasn't at an unhealthy weight

As he took off his clothes to get into the shower, he looked at himself in the mirror once more. He stopped what he was doing to glance down at his body then face the mirror again. 

"Unholy lord," he whispered to himself, "for once, someone besides my parents will see me naked... And thank god they haven't seen this in a few years."

Martin turned away and got into the shower with a few thoughts running through his mind. He had to plan out how he was going to impress Tobias and make him like him. Martin was new to this and every turn seemed to land him at a dead end. This wasn't his forte and he figured that it never would be, but he wasn't about to ask for help. Instead, he kept it to himself and would let the thought sit in his mind while he tried to figure something out.


	7. Chapter Seven

## Chapter Seven

Tobias wasn't surprised when he caught glimpses of Martin every so often. He didn't try to talk to him. He didn't know what Martin was or what was going on, but Tobias refused to get involved. He didn't want to get mixed up in the wrong thing. He was here for a short time and he didn't want to make friends with someone who was in a dangerous part of the occult. Tobias had bad luck to begin with and befriending someone like that wouldn't help. 

He still hadn't told Nihil about the encounter. He didn't want to be lectured. He didn't want him to worry either. That would add more tension to the awkward relationship that they seemed to have and Tobias wasn't ready for something like that. 

Nihil didn't seem concerned and he didn't seem to be acting any different. He would go to the church and come home. He'd make small talk with Tobias. He'd watch television when he had the chance, though he'd sleep most of the time. Those were things that he had always done. Nothing was changing and nothing seemed suspicious. Nothing stuck out to Tobias. But then again, he wasn't looking for anything suspicious. 

It was storming outside as Tobias sat at home and typed out whatever came to mind on his laptop. Nihil was at the church and had called to tell Tobias that he would be busy with Sister Imperator which meant that he wouldn't be home until later in the evening. Tobias didn't care. To him, that meant more time to himself inside the house. 

Tobias liked storms. The lightning and thunder soothed him. He still hated Stockholm, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity to appreciate a good storm when he heard one. That would be insane if he were to do something like that. 

As a child, he and his father would sit near the sliding glass window that lead out to the back porch and watch thunderstorms go by. It was one of the many ways that they bonded. Tobias wished that he could do that with him still. He wished that every time that it rained. Storms felt empty without him now. 

-

_"Close your eyes and listen to the rain, little one," his father whispered to him, his Italian accent heavy and thick, just like the downpour of rain outside. He ran his hand through Tobias's short hair as he leaned against him and comforted him. Though Papa II was an intimidating man who didn't care for anyone at all, his entire life was right beside him and he couldn't stop looking at him. Tobias was the most beautiful creation known to man and it hurt his to know that he was in pain. "It'll distract you from the pain in your stomach."_

_"But, Papa..." Tobias whined out._

_"Hush, Special," he hushed him, "The rain is coming down just for you. The rain knows you're sick and that you want to sleep. It'll help you."_

_"How do you know?" Tobias asked quietly. His voice was small and shaky. The stomach flu that he had caught was relentless and causing him to wake up nearly every hour to throw up. He was miserable and sick of it after the fourth time of it happening. "Did it tell you?"_

_"Of course it did," he chuckled out, "I am the Papa of everything. I know the ways of the world." He hummed proudly and lowly as he tugged Tobias closer his side. "I'm one with the rain... And you're my little rain droplet."_

_"Are you the cloud?"_

_"I can be, just like how you can be whatever you want to be. Snow, rain, hail, sleet... You have to see yourself as it. We all come from something then we go on to make something else."_

_"What will I make?" Tobias asked as he sat up, turning his head to look up at his father. His green eyes were shining even in the dark of the night and his father couldn't help but ruin his brooding persona to smile from the sight of them. "What does rain do?"_

_"Rain goes into rivers and streams and lakes... It goes to the ground and it makes Earth flourish. It brings life– Vita a l'natura. Humans and animals of all sorts drink water from rivers and whatnot... You can be everything to everyone or maybe only one person, caro mio. You are my son and you are destined for great things... do you know that? If not, listen to me now and never forget it."_

_"Never, ever?"_

_"Never, ever."_

_Tobias nodded slowly then rested his head on his arm again before his eyes fell shut. "You're a nice cloud, Papa."_

_"And you're a beautiful raindrop, my son... Tobias," he whispered softly. He kissed the top of his head then wrapped his arm around him to keep him close to him as he looked at the streaks that the raindrops made on the glass. A content smile spread across his lips and he couldn't help but feel alive in this moment. Everything felt right._

_"I love you, Papa," Tobias mumbled in his tiny sleepy voice._

_"Ti amo, tesoro. Sleep for Papa now, eh? I'll be here if you need me."_

-

Tobias didn't realize that tears were running down his cheeks as his eyes were locked on the window. Rain ran down the glass outside and dripped off of the sill to land in the grass below. He had gotten caught up in the memory of his father and he was stuck in his mind. It was always hard to snap himself out of those thoughts once they started. As the months went on, it didn't get easier as he had hoped it would. 

The screen of his laptop had gone black from inactivity and instead of continuing his work, Tobias shut it then set it on the floor. He was in no mindset to do anything after that. He could hardly even bring himself to stand up. 

It wasn't easy to lose someone that meant the world to you. It wasn't easy to lose the one parent that you had growing up. Tobias wished that he couldn't feel a thing because he thought that that would be easier than anything else. He didn't want to deal with the constant longing that he had for closure as to why his father had left. He never knew why he would do something like that to him. It didn't seem right to him. 

Tobias didn't want to be closer to his grandfather. Nihil had made the decision to focus on the church more than his family for most of Tobias's life. Tobias wasn't going to open up to him now after thirty years of not being there for him. He knew that that wouldn't turn out well and that it wouldn't make his mental health any better. Tobias couldn't get help at the moment, so he knew better than to test his boundaries with things. 

He stood in the kitchen with a water bottle in his hand and his eyes away from the window. There was almost nothing that he hated more than crying. He felt drained afterward and he felt like he needed to sleep for a thousand years. Sometimes, he wanted to fall asleep after crying then never wake up again, but so far, that hadn't happened. Tobias nearly prayed for it now. 

A few knocks on the door earned Tobias's attention. He didn't know who it could be, but he wasn't going to be opposed if it was someone here to kill him. He'd probably open the door wide for them just to give them more areas on his body to hit. 

When he opened the door, he wasn't met with his fate. He was met with a soaking wet and shivering Martin. 

"May I come in?" Martin asked as he hugged his own arms. Tobias raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down without saying a word. He knew that it was obvious that he had just been crying, but he didn't care. "I... I came to check on you."

"Thoughtful of you," Tobias said, his voice low and gravelly. He stepped aside and motioned for Martin to come inside. "Here."

Martin walked inside and Tobias shut the door behind him. 

"Stay here. I'll get you extra clothes," Tobias said as he headed towards the stairs. He stopped himself before he went upstairs and looked over his shoulder at Martin. "Do you wear color?"

Martin hesitated then looked down at himself. He was wearing all black as usual, but he wasn't in his cassock. Now, he was wearing an all black outfit with a black ski mask over his face to hide his identity. He nodded slowly then brought his eyes back to Tobias. "Yes, I do... Just not in public."

Tobias nodded then went upstairs, leaving Martin to stand and make a puddle around his feet in front of the door. Martin looked around and tried to warm up as much as he could. He didn't like being cold and wet. He got sick easily and this wouldn't help him out. 

The house was quaint and well put together. Martin's house didn't have the comforting energy that this one did. He wanted to move and live on his own, but he couldn't. It wasn't something that was common in his clergy. Families stayed together for as long as possible, even when the children grew up. His family was getting on his nerves and he was getting older. Martin thought that he should move out because of his age, but that still hadn't happened yet. 

Tobias came back downstairs to hand Martin the clothes before he showed him the bathroom on the main level of the house. Martin thanked him and changed as quickly as he could. He didn't want to make the floor even more wet. 

He was nervous about trying to befriend Tobias. He knew that it wouldn't be easy considering that he and Tobias hadn't gotten off on the right foot, but he had to try. If he didn't then he'd be in trouble. 

When Martin walked out of the bathroom wearing Tobias's navy blue sweatpants and one of his white v-neck shirts, Tobias couldn't help but look over him. The few times that Tobias had seen him, he was wearing all black. It was different to see him wearing color. 

Not to mention that he wasn't wearing any sort of mask now. His face was exposed and Tobias couldn't stop staring at it. 

"These sweatpants are comfy," Martin said nonchalantly as he walked over to Tobias, "I don't get to wear sweatpants too often."

Tobias, who was still shocked by how calm Martin's features were, hesitated and took another second to look at him. Martin didn't notice. To stop staring, Tobias looked away and cleared his throat, furrowing his eyebrows together as he asked, "Why not?"

"There's people over at my house a lot and I have to wear formal clothes, I guess," Martin said with a shrug, "They don't want to see me in sweatpants."

"Ah, well," Tobias mumbled. He sat down on the couch and turned the television on, leaning his arm against the arm of the couch. After a couple minutes when Martin didn't move, Tobias looked at him and said, "You don't have to worry about that now. Are you going or staying?"

"I mean..." Martin's voice trailed off. He wanted to stay because he liked how calming Tobias's house felt. That wasn't something that he was able to feel at home. He wasn't about to admit that aloud, but he couldn't help but want to stay. "Can I stay?"

"Sure," Tobias said, "and you can sit down, if you want. You don't have to stand up the whole time. The chairs won't break if you sit in them."

Martin smiled at him then sat down on the opposite end of the couch. When Tobias didn't seem to mind, Martin got comfortable. He felt weird intruding his space, but he told himself that he shouldn't feel that way. This was part of his job. He had to do this for the occult. If he didn't then there was no telling what would happen. 

Neither of them were paying attention to the show that was on television. They were both thinking about each other. They were wondering what the other was thinking and they would occasionally wonder what would happen if one of them moved. They didn't want to make the other uncomfortable. They stayed still and quiet for the most part, but they didn't try to stay focused on what they were supposed to be watching. 

Martin felt warm in Tobias's clothes. The sweatpants fit just right and the shirt was light, but wasn't too thin. There was a distinct but faint smell to them; one that wasn't bad, but one that smelled like Tobias. Martin didn't mind that. He liked how Tobias smelled. He wasn't complaining. 

Tobias angled his head to the side to get a glimpse of Martin. Martin was playing with the strings of the sweatpants and tugging at them lightly. Tobias did that whenever he got bored. It surprised him that someone else besides him did that. 

Now that Tobias was looking at Martin without feeling upset, he saw how tired he looked. He was leaning heavily against the couch and his eyes never seemed to want to open when he blinked. All of his movements and whatnot were slow and lazy, but Tobias couldn't blame him. It seemed like Martin radiated stress, but he had nice physical features. They were pleasing to look at. Tobias wasn't saying that he found him attractive by staring at him so much, but he did know when someone looked good.

"How old are you?" Tobias asked randomly, his question immediately earning Martin's attention. 

Martin dropped the strings before he replied, "I'm thirty."

"I'm the same age. We're both young."

"I know. I always get picked on for being younger."

"Who picks on you for it?"

"My superior... Other superiors..." Martin shrugged and looked over Tobias's face. "Basically all the other men in my clergy who are older and know more than me."

"Huh." Tobias looked at the strings in Martin's lap then he looked at him again. "I'm thirty, like I said. But you already knew that, right?"

Without knowing why, Martin felt a pang of guilt hit him from Tobias's comment. He wished that he didn't know mostly everything about Tobias. He wanted to make a friend normally. Pushing the feeling back, he went on with the conversation, "Yeah, I did."

"Cool."

"'Cool'?"

"Sure. What else should I say? You want me to freak out again or something?" Tobias asked. "I think I'm okay with keeping my cool around you now."

"I'm sorry," Martin apologized, "for... I... I'm sorry."

Tobias heard the honesty in Martin's voice and it caught him by surprise. He was good at pointing out lies, but that wasn't one at all. It seemed more truthful than some of the things his own grandfather said to him sometimes. 

"For what?" He asked curiously, "I highly doubt you want to do shit like this. Whatever it is that you do."

Martin didn't want to answer that. He looked away from Tobias to look out the window. Even though it was still raining, he wanted to leave. There was too much guilt coursing through his body for him to focus. He stood up from the couch and went over to the door to grab his shoes as he spoke, "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"You just showed up," Tobias stated, "and it's still raining."

"I know," Martin muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"If you look hard enough."

Things were silent as Martin got his shoes on and opened the door. He froze in the doorway, his head dropping and his gaze falling down to the floor. He spoke up again, making sure to speak loud enough that Tobias could hear him over the rain, "I noticed you were crying... I hope you feel okay."

Tobias shouldn't have been shocked that Martin saw him crying, but he was. Quickly, he became defensive. "Pretend like you didn't see it."

"But I-"

"Go," Tobias demanded, his voice hard and cold, "Or I'll call my grandfather."

Martin turned around and faced Tobias again. Tobias's gaze was one of hurt, embarrassment, and anger. It hurt Martin. 

"I'm sorry," Martin said honestly, "I want you to feel better."

"What? Are you going to say something to me like 'I'm here if you need me'? Of course you'll be there because you fucking watch me for some reason," Tobias said, his voice getting progressively louder as he spoke, "Fuck off. Leave me alone the next time that you see me upset. I don't need help."

Martin kept his mouth shut after that. If he wasn't hurt emotionally already, he was after that. He wanted to tell Tobias everything, but he couldn't. If he did then he would put himself and his family in danger. Martin wasn't about to do that for someone he had just met. 

When Martin left without saying anything else, Tobias relaxed. He felt bad for treating him with little respect, but he had every right to do that. A part of him was telling him that Martin couldn't control what he had to do, but Tobias didn't listen to it. He wanted to block people out and he wanted to be alone. He couldn't do that if he allowed Martin to come into his life. 

He tried to block out all of his other thoughts of Martin throughout the rest of the night. It didn't work well, but he didn't want to entertain his mind and the thoughts that it generated. He didn't need friends and he certainly didn't need the man who was watching him to become his friend. That would get him almost nowhere. Tobias stayed quiet with his grandfather still, hoping that by doing that that the thoughts would vanish on their own.


	8. Chapter Eight

## Chapter Eight

"You've watched him, haven't you?"

"Yes, sir, I have."

"Has he said anything?"

"No, sir. He's very private."

"Is he?"

"He's very closed off. He doesn't like talking to me. In fact, I don't think he likes my company..."

Robert groaned and slammed his hand down on the table, causing Martin to flinch in his place. He was trying to do his job, but he wasn't getting far with Tobias. His guilt was beginning to hold him back. It was interfering with his work and his mindset. 

Every time that he and Tobias would make eye contact when Martin was watching him, Tobias would look exhausted. Martin could tell that Tobias didn't want him around. He wasn't used to people outside of his family, but he could tell when someone didn't want somebody around. 

This wasn't only taking a toll on Tobias. It was taking one on Martin. This was proving to be too difficult. Martin didn't want to let his family down, but that was what was happening. He wasn't doing his job to his full capability. An excuse like that wouldn't slide with anyone and he knew that, but it was tough to power through how he felt to get this done. It wasn't working and that was becoming obvious to his superior and his own family. 

"Have you tried to persuade him in any other way?" Robert asked, his eyes down on the table that his hand lied upon. 

Martin swallowed quietly then nodded. "No, sir, I haven't. You see, I've never had relations with-"

"You are proving yourself to be untrustworthy," Robert cut him off. Those words hurt Martin. There were tons of men better than him and he knew it. Now everyone else was beginning to know it, too. Robert brought his eyes up and he stared at Martin through the dim light that was hanging above the table. "How do you think your family would feel about this?"

Martin held his weak gaze with Robert for a moment before he brought his head down in shame. "They wouldn't be proud of me, sir."

"Mm... Then consider yourself lucky that I have yet to bring this up with them."

Martin went silent. He felt like a failure. Compared to his brother and his father, he offered the clergy nothing. He was weak and sensitive. He let his feelings get to him. That was something that didn't fit in with what the occult did. Martin didn't know where he got it from considering both of his parents seemed to not care at all about anyone but themselves and the family. It was like it had come out of nowhere and Martin was suddenly blessed and cursed with it. It was good that he was caring, but that put him in danger in the situation that he was in. 

Robert slowly walked over to Martin as he tutted his tongue against the backs of his front teeth. The noise caught Martin's attention and caused him to look up. Robert's hand came up and grabbed Martin's jaw tightly, earning a small whimper from Martin. 

"You will do as I say, Omega," Robert seethed, his face moving downward to be only inches in front of Martin's. Martin looked at him with fear present and noticeable in his eyes, his hands shaking by his sides. Robert's voice was enough to make grown men shake in their shoes and enough to make them question their own strength. Martin hardly felt grown and he had little strength, which meant that Robert was already beginning to tear him apart. "Papa Nihil has crossed this clergy one too many times. You are to turn Special against his grandfather and get him to reveal information about his family, yes? Get inside of his head, Omega... And if you fail me..."

Martin whimpered again from the threat that hung off the end of Robert's sentence. He didn't want anything to happen to him, but he didn't want to use Tobias either. Tobias had been through so much recently and being played wasn't going to help him. It all felt wrong to Martin, but he had no choice. This was his life, whether he liked it or not, and he had to play a certain part to get by. 

"Yes, sir," he forced out of himself, "I'll do as you say."

"As you should," Robert hissed. He let go of Martin's jaw after he had tightened his grip on it for a few seconds, the hold becoming so tight that Martin had groaned aloud in pain and had squeezed his eyes shut. "Do not disappoint your family or you will be sorry."

Martin nearly felt tears gather in his eyes, but he blinked quickly to avoid having them show. He wasn't about to show that much weakness to Robert. Not when Robert was already onto him for not fulfilling his demands. 

Robert left the house which resulted in Martin being alone. He felt trapped and he felt like he was suffocating. The more that he realized how wrong things were, the more that he felt as if he was going insane. 

Leaving would mean bringing dishonor to his parents and his clergy. Leaving would mean that he would have to try to figure out the world by himself. Leaving would mean that he would have to lie about his life and act as if it had been normal all along. Leaving would mean that he would be thrown out into the real world where money wouldn't be handed to him and he wouldn't have people protecting him all the time. 

Martin wasn't ready for that because he wasn't used to it. He didn't know how he would be able to function in a normal society. That sunk in on him as he realized that he knew almost nothing about having an average life. Something that seemed like a basic human right wasn't available to him and he felt like he had been robbed and dealt the wrong hand. He couldn't change that and he couldn't go back in time before he was born to somehow convince his parents to choose a different path for their life. All he could do was sit and wait for the right time to figure out what to do.

After a few minutes of standing and drowning in his overwhelming thoughts, he retreated to his room to get into the clothes that Tobias had lended him a week and a half earlier. He had lost track of how long he had been watching him. It seemed like a lifetime. 

He lied down in bed and shut off the light, hoping that nobody would come in and disturb him. All he wanted to do was sleep to silence his mind for a few hours. He hoped to every dark power in existence that it wouldn't generate any nightmares. If it did then he would've woken up in a terrible mood, which wouldn't help how he had been feeling recently. 

It wasn't long before he fell asleep as he thought about the smell of Tobias's clothes. Even after he washed them, there was still a hint of his scent on them. He liked the smell of Tobias. He couldn't get enough of it. However, that little taste of normality was enough to keep him grounded for the time being.


	9. Chapter Nine

## Chapter Nine

Tobias was sitting on his bed when he heard the stairs creak. He didn't know who it was because it certainly wasn't his grandfather, but he wasn't scared. His mood had been terrible lately and dying didn't seem like such a bad option. He figured that Hell– and maybe even Heaven– would be better than Stockholm. 

"Hi," Martin said as he walked into Tobias's room. 

Tobias rolled his eyes then went back to looking out the window as the wind blew outside. He wasn't in the mood to talk to Martin. He wasn't in the mood to see him either. 

Martin quickly caught onto that. He frowned, though Tobias couldn't see it, and he walked over to stand beside him. "How have you been?"

Still, Tobias didn't say anything. He kept to himself and didn't glance at Martin. The last thing that he wanted to do was converse with anyone, and that included his grandfather as well. 

There was a lingering sense of sadness in the room. Martin wasn't a genius, but he could feel it. Probably because he was used to the feeling. His room usually felt like that after he was lectured and talked down for not doing his job as well as he was supposed to. He felt like nobody understood him. Even when a small ounce of hope would seep into his mind and try to make him believe that someone else in his family felt the same way that he did, he would realize that that probably wasn't true. 

Martin didn't know what Tobias was upset about this time. Maybe it was because he was in his house or maybe it was because of his father or maybe it was something entirely different. Even though Martin was supposed to get Tobias to like him so that he could turn him against his grandfather and bury him beneath his own mistakes, that didn't mean that Martin was going to do it that way. 

Sitting down on the bed next to Tobias, he nudged his arm against the other's. "Just so you know... I don't want to be involved with all of this. I don't have a choice. I wasn't born into a normal family and I can't get out of it either." Martin sighed and kept his voice low in fear of someone hearing him despite the fact that he and Tobias were alone in the house. Tobias looked over at him, but didn't say anything. Martin went on, "I never went to public school, I never played for a sports team, I never got to take guitar lessons from an actual teacher, I never got to stay out in public for too long, I never got to make friends as a kid... I never got to do or have anything normal in my life. And I know you may not care about that, but really. I know we didn't meet in the best way and I know you're still confused as to why I'm here and what I'm doing, but... I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I wish that I could change this. I wish I could."

Tobias felt a bit of sympathy for him. The more that he thought about it and the more he pieced things together, it became clear to him that Martin was deep in the occult because of his family. Tobias didn't know much about that side of things, but he knew that it was bad and that it was hard to leave when you were born into it. He couldn't blame Martin for that, but that didn't mean that he wanted to be his friend. 

"I'm sorry for that," Tobias said truthfully, "but I don't care."

Like many times before, Martin felt shut down and ignored. He didn't know how to stand up for himself, so he didn't. He let himself go silent and he hung his head down as he tried to piece together something that would somehow get through to Tobias. 

"Well... you know how it is– To be deprived of a life. I can play the guitar and I like metal. I like flowers and sometimes when I'm alone and can sneak off, I'll go into the forest and I'll put them in my pockets so I can take them home so I feel like I have control over something. I like looking at the city and I like how the buildings look at night. I like the sound of the water hitting the concrete and I like it when the wind blows against my face when I look up after I've felt lost," Martin mumbled. Tobias looked at him again and kept his gaze on the side of Martin's face, confused as to what he was getting at. "I like normal people things. I wish I could have a normal life because if I had one, I would go out and I would walk the streets freely. I wouldn't have to hide in the shadows because of what and who I am. I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder when I'm alone because you never know when someone has something against someone in my clergy and they decide to take me hostage in return for something that they want... I wouldn't have to be here to watch you and protect you while my family cracks down on something going on with your grandfather. I wouldn't have to live my life as if I'm an escaped convict because nobody would be looking for me and nobody would want to hurt me."

Tobias bit his lower lip and eventually looked away from Martin when he stopped talking momentarily. He did feel bad for him. Even though he wanted to despise him and never speak to him, he couldn't help but feel bad for him. He put himself in Martin's shoes for a moment just to realize how much everything hurt for him. It wasn't hard to tell that things weren't easy for him, and that was coming from someone who knew too much about life being nearly impossible to handle. 

"I-"

"So I'm sorry if I have to follow you around and watch you for your safety and I'm sorry that I have to throw my life in front of yours whenever I think that someone may be following you. I'm sorry that I have to check up on you constantly as if I'm some sort of stalker. I'm sorry that your grandfather did something to make my family mad at him and I'm sorry that you got dragged into it all because you're his grandson... And more importantly, I'm sorry that I'm trying to make this better for the both of us because God knows this isn't easy at all and that it hurts like hell to stay awake at night and know that your life is shit and that you can't get out of it and that you can't change it. I'm sorry, Tobias. I'm sorry that I know everything about you because if I didn't, there would be a chance that someone could hurt you and that they could show up at the church while you're there and take you or kill you, or they could show up here and do it in your own house, Tobias. I am sorry that this is what we have to do and I'm sorry that life is shit for you, but do not take it out on me when my life hasn't been any fucking easier, especially since I was born into a family of bloodthirsty, greedy demons who want to kill and hurt people more than they want to consider their wellbeing of their own children. Do not take it out on me when you know that I have been stepped on and ignored all my life and even more so now that I'm thirty and have to actually do work for this business. Please do not do that to me, even if you barely know me, please be the only person in my life to not treat me like shit... Please."

By the end of his rant, Martin and Tobias were facing each other and tears were running down his face. He didn't realize that he had started crying until he was done talking. Even then, he didn't bother to wipe them away. This was the first time in what felt like years that he had cried. He never cried at home in fear of his superior suddenly walking into his room to tell him about something that he was about to go do. 

Martin had to hold in so much at home that it made him want to explode. Now he was exploding, but he was exploding to someone who barely knew him. The thought of it only driving Tobias away further didn't cross his mind in the midst of his breakdown. There were too many bottled up emotions making themselves known for him to process any coherent thoughts whatsoever. 

Tobias was conflicted on what to do. He had a sobbing thirty year old man in bed next to him and he had no idea whether he should hug him or kick him out. While he felt bad for him, he felt awkward because he didn't know how to help him. He knew almost nothing about Martin's situation– other than the things he had just told him– and he didn't want to put Martin in danger. Stress was beginning to weigh down on Tobias, but he didn't notice it. He was too busy watching tears roll down Martin's cheeks to pinpoint any new sources of emotion. 

The tears didn't stop because Martin couldn't bring himself together long enough to control them. He felt broken and he felt vulnerable, especially since he was crying in front of a stranger. It was better than crying in front of members of his family, though. He knew that he would take this feeling over any other any day of the week. 

"I'm sorry I've been a dick, but you have to know where I'm coming from with this," Tobias said quietly. Martin looked over at him again and Tobias nearly lost his train of thought. He had never seen blue eyes look so bright. They appeared to be brighter due to the redness in his eyes from crying. Tobias shifted his line of vision between the two of them for a few seconds before he remembered what he was saying, "My life hasn't been great recently and how we met didn't help. I'm sorry I was a dick to you. I didn't know that you felt that way or... Anything."

Martin wanted to smile at him to assure him that things were okay, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He usually had to force a smile at home, but he couldn't do it this time. That would be too much work and that would hurt too much. 

Suddenly, he felt embarrassed that he was crying in front of Tobias. Something in him told him to suck it up and to just leave since he had just made a fool of himself in front of Tobias. He didn't like showing weakness in front of others because he wasn't used to it. This was proving itself to be painful– even more painful than he thought it would be. 

He brought his hand up and wiped his tears away, scoffing softly before talking, "I'll just go. I fucked up."

"You didn't," Tobias protested through a calm voice, "I would tell you if you did."

Martin sniffled and kept his eyes away from him. "I've never cried in front of anyone."

"Never?" Tobias asked, his eyebrows coming together slightly as he looked across Martin's side profile. Martin didn't respond verbally. He shook his head instead then hung it down in shame. Tobias couldn't deny it anymore that he felt bad for him. "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault fault," Martin told him, "but I'm not sure if it's my fault either."

"It's not. You can't control this."

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm sorry I treated you like shit," Tobias said through a whisper, "I didn't know that's how you felt. And you better not be lying to me about it. I feel bad for you."

"I'm not lying. I don't really lie much to begin with." Martin chuckled humorlessly and raised his head to look at the wall then at Tobias. "If I lied in the position that I'm in, who knows what I'd have to endure."

"Well, you must lie sometimes." Tobias shrugged. "When people ask you if you feel alright, you say that you do. That's a lie."

"Then those are the only lies that I ever tell," Martin mumbled, "because if I told a lie worse than that, I'd be treated like a dog."

"Sounds like you're already there."

"I am. They've, uh... gotten mad at me for not talking to you."

"So you're talking to me so they don't get mad at you?" Tobias asked with a hint of sadness in his voice. 

"Well..." Martin shrugged and looked away again. "I'm talking to you because I want to. I think you're interesting. I've never had a friend... But yeah, I have to talk to you because they ordered me to. I can't tell you why."

Tobias bit his lip. He felt a bit betrayed, but he had to shake that off. Martin couldn't help anything that was going on and he had to keep reminding himself of that. Clearing his throat, he asked, "What can you tell me?"

"Things about myself that don't include my family and how things work within it. I can't tell you much about why I'm here or what's going on because you'll find that out soon," Martin said. Quickly afterwards, he added, "Please don't be scared. I'm here to protect you, okay? I won't let anything happen to you."

Tobias went quiet for a short minute. During that time, their eyes met a few times, only to dart away seconds later. Martin felt more guilty than ever before. He wanted to tell Tobias everything just to make things less stressful for the both of them, but he couldn't do that. Tobias wanted to know everything because he was wondering what his grandfather had done to make the occult want him. 

Tobias pursed his lips to lick over them then parted them to ask, "Why should I trust you?"

Martin didn't have to think about his reply, but he didn't want to say it right away. After he had gained the courage to look at Tobias in the eyes, he said, "Because you shouldn't trust Papa Nihil."

There was silence again after that. Tobias felt as if a bullet had hit him. The only family member that he had left was involved with someone dangerous and that was becoming more and more obvious to him as the days went on. It was making his anxiety run wild as if he were the one being hunted down and he was questioning nearly everything at that point. 

"Why not?" Tobias asked, his voice shaking and his eyes slightly wide, "Please tell me why."

"I can't," Martin whispered to him. He took in a breath then set his hand on Tobias's neck in order to keep Tobias focused on what they were talking about. "But please... Please trust me you won't put yourself in harm's way with him."

"I don't know how I would considering I don't even know what he's done," Tobias whispered harshly. 

"If I told you, they'd be angry with me."

"I don't want to die."

"Neither do I."

"Please just tell me."

"I can't," Martin told him again, "I'm sorry, Tobias."

"Am I in danger with him here?" Tobias asked. Martin went quiet and he looked away. That only spiked Tobias's anxiety. "Martin," he said with a harder tone, "Martin, tell me."

"Don't act suspicious and you'll be fine for now," Martin told him, "but you have to promise me that you won't mention me or anything like what I'm involved with to him because that'll make him wonder about what you know."

"Nihil isn't even in your clergy, how could he have set your people off?" Tobias's breathing was getting heavier and Martin felt that while his hand was on Tobias's neck. "What did he do?"

"Tobias, I can't tell you-"

"Martin, please tell me-"

Tobias was cut off by the sound of the door downstairs opening. They both turned to look at Tobias's door and they went silent, listening to papers jostle then hit the table. 

"Who is that?" Martin whispered lowly so that Tobias could hear him. 

"I think it's Nihil," Tobias whispered back, "Get in the closet."

"What?"

"The closet!"

Tobias got off the bed the same time that Martin did. Unlike Tobias, Martin didn't make any noise. He was used to having to be quiet in situation where he couldn't be seen or heard. He didn't know what would happen if Tobias's grandfather caught sight of him, but he imagined that things wouldn't turn out well. 

After Tobias made sure that Martin was in his closet, he went downstairs and saw his grandfather leaning against the counter with a paper in his hand. He seemed dazed which is why he didn't realize that Tobias was standing across the kitchen from him until Tobias spoke up. 

"What are you doing home so early, Papa?" Tobias asked him. 

Nihil looked up and put the paper down quickly. Tobias noticed how skittish he seemed with it and that made him wonder what the paper said on it. 

"I left something here," Nihil responded, "It was important."

"Papa Nihil?"

"Yes?"

Tobias was hesitant to ask his next question. He know that Martin told him to not bring up anything about what he was involved with, but Tobias couldn't help it. He had to have closure. 

"What do you know about the occult? Like... the ones who aren't allowed in the church because they're so bad?" He asked, desperately trying to sound as normal as possible. His grandfather gave him an awkward look, but Tobias shrugged and kept a straight face. "I'm asking because there's been talk about cults on the news lately. I don't know much about them, so... You know."

"Keep your distance from them and you will be fine," Nihil said, his voice suddenly dropping to a deeper tone. Tobias felt a chill run up his spine, but he forced down any odd feelings that he was beginning to have before they could get out of hand. "They're bad news."

"Yes, I know that," Tobias said with a scoff, "but they seem... different than us. Papa never spoke much of them..." Tobias didn't want to give too much away. He shrugged and looked down at the floor for a moment before he brought his gaze back to his father. "I'm curious about them."

"Special, they're dangerous. It doesn't matter if they're interesting or not, they could kill you," Nihil retorted defensively. 

"I doubt they could hurt me," Tobias said in the same manner, "and I wish I could learn more about the church considering I know almost nothing. I still don't even know what the name 'Special' means."

"They're dangerous. What do you not understand about that? And don't question your name. You know better."

"Some of them may not be. And it is my name, I have every right to question it."

Nihil stiffened up and shot a stern glare to Tobias. "I want you to stay away from those people. They aren't for you to toy with. And you will soon figure out what your name means."

"If you know they're dangerous, then why are they allowed on church property?" Tobias questioned as he raised his eyebrows, his emerald green eyes landing on his grandfather and staying on him intently. "We lived in Linköping and Linköping was fine. Suddenly, a new church is built in this fucking-"

"Language-"

"-Hellhole and there's all kinds of bad shit," Tobias spoke over him. His tongue darted over his pink lips before he scoffed and looked away from his grandfather. "I'm not saying that that stuff wasn't in Linköping, but apparently, it's a lot worse here."

"Stockholm is full of our people. They needed this church," Nihil told him, "so quit complaining."

"You just wanted me to move here with you because you didn't want me to be alone after my father left!" Tobias yelled at him, "That's the entire reason! You were scared to leave me even though you've left everyone else! That's why!"

Nihil fell quiet and Tobias's eyes suddenly burned with tears. He knew that he had played the wrong cards. He knew that his outburst could get him in trouble. The argument they were having was already enough and he didn't want to deal with it anymore.

"I'm going to take a shower," Tobias whispered, "I need to think."

"You do enough of that as it is-"

"I don't care."

Tobias turned and walked out of the kitchen, his throat tying itself up into a knot. He didn't want to cry. His father was gone and he couldn't bring him back. He didn't have anywhere to go if he went back to Linköping. He had to sit here and carry out the next couple years with his grandfather. That's all there was to it. 

The window in his room gave him a look of the street. People aimlessly walked down the sidewalk and crossed the street. Tobias wished he could leave and walk those streets until he became lost.

A few minutes passed before Nihil left with a slam of the door. He was driven away almost angrily which didn't help how Tobias felt. 

Tobias wasn't going to let any tears fall. He didn't need to cry while Martin was still there. Martin had cried already and Tobias didn't want to upset him furthermore. 

"Are you alright?" Martin asked Tobias as he opened the closet door slightly. 

"Yeah," Tobias mumbled as he kept facing toward the window, "Did you hear anything I said?"

Martin nodded slowly and came out of the closet completely. He shut the door behind him then went over to Tobias to speak quietly, "Yeah, I did... I'm sorry. I said too much to you. I shouldn't have done-"

"You can't control my need for closure," Tobias interrupted him, "so don't apologize."

"I feel bad, though."

"Don't. Really."

Martin sat down on the bed about a foot away from Tobias. He reached out and nudged Tobias's shoulder with his knuckles, causing Tobias to crane his head at an angle to see him. 

"What?"

"Do you want me to go? It's alright if you do," Martin said softly. 

"You can come back inside whenever you want. Except for at night. Papa Nihil comes home then."

"I'll stop in when I can," Martin said, "I hope you feel better."

Tobias gave him a soft smile. "I hope you do, too."

Martin returned the smile then stood up again. He gave Tobias a pat on the shoulder before he saw his way out, resisting the urge to stay in Tobias's room to comfort him. He felt bad for leaving, especially after all that he had told him. He knew that that wasn't easy news to handle, but he had to tell him a little bit of information just to ease his mind. Now he was beginning to think that he had done the opposite.


	10. Chapter Ten

## Chapter Ten

Tobias was finishing his duties at the church and he felt as if he were about to pass out from exhaustion. He had to wake up at eight that morning to come in at nine. He wasn't a morning person at all and when he had to force himself to do something before noon, he wasn't a joy to be around. Unfortunately, Tobias had to pretend to be nice to people. If he didn't then he would've gotten in trouble with Papa Nihil and maybe even the people themselves. 

It was five in the evening and Tobias wanted to go home and sleep. He was done being out of the house for the day and he was absolutely fed up with everything. Tobias had to fight to keep his cool and thankfully, it worked. He wasn't in the mood to get in trouble. 

Tobias was still upset with his grandfather. He felt like he had been fed lies for his entire life. Even though he didn't know what he had done, he felt like his grandfather wasn't the person he had thought he'd known all along. It was almost too much to handle, but he was taking some time to process it. 

Nihil had been acting a bit strange recently. He was quieter and he was leaving earlier than usual. Tobias didn't ask him why that was considering their last real conversation hadn't gone well. Nihil seemed distant and on edge whenever Tobias was around him, although that was never for long, but Tobias didn't comment on it in fear of setting him off somehow. 

Tobias was about to walk out of the church before he saw a familiar mask out of the corner of his eye. He knew that mask all too well. 

"Are you kidding me..." Tobias mumbled under his breath. He walked down the hall to meet Martin halfway and went up to Martin once he had stopped, looking him up and down quickly. "I thought you were going to be secretive about this?"

"I couldn't help myself this time," Martin said with a playful sigh, "I felt lonely."

"Mm, as have I. What a coincidence."

Martin smiled at him and though he couldn't see it, Tobias could tell by the way his eyes lit up. For once, he seemed a bit happier than usual. That didn't go unnoticed by Tobias. 

On top of that, Tobias couldn't lie to himself. It was nice to see Martin after he had been dreading the day as a whole. At least he could tolerate Martin. 

"Why are you here? I just got done with all my duties," Tobias said with a small smirk on his lips. 

"Would you like to watch a movie at your house?" Martin suggested. He pointed to the bag at his side then went on, "I brought a couple movies."

Tobias laughed softly and shook his head. "I can't believe you."

Martin's face fell suddenly. "What? Did I do something?"

"No, it's just funny," Tobias said, "You show up randomly then ask if I want to watch a movie with you at my own house."

"I never asked if you wanted to watch it with me," Martin said with a smirk. 

Tobias blushed a light pink shade and he looked away. Martin was right. He didn't say that. 

"I just thought that since you... I'm sorry," Tobias apologized instantly. 

Martin laughed and smiled at him brightly. "I was kidding! Of course I meant with me. I just like messing with you." He glanced down the hall to one of the doors that lead outside then nodded his horns towards it. "Would you like to get going now, then?"

"Of course. Let me lead you out to my car."

Martin was excited. He had never done this before. It wasn't often that he got to watch movies with the antipope's grandson and spend quality time. Although this was a part of his clergy's orders, this plan was entirely intimate. Martin was doing it because he wanted to. 

The two walked out to Tobias's car quickly to dodge anyone who could've stopped them then drove to his house, chatting nonsensically the whole way. 

-

"You look tired," Martin said to Tobias as the sat on the couch. There was a blanket spread across the both of them and the lights were out. "Do you think you should sleep?"

"Nah," Tobias said, "We still have that other movie to watch."

"Yeah, but you're tired," Martin teased him.

Tobias reached over and hit him lightly. Martin hit him back on the arm, only to have Tobias hit him again. He couldn't help but laugh. It was fun to have a playful fight. 

Martin and his brother had had playful fights before, but after they both were trained in physical combat, they stopped being fun. Simon always won because he was taller and stronger. They turned into matches rather than small fights to help pass the time. Martin always wanted to be as physically defensive as his brother, but he hadn't reached that level yet. It didn't seem possible. No matter how much he trained and practiced, Simon was still better than him and he got more praises than he ever would. 

They were told that they had to learn self defense in case something went wrong one day. They weren't allowed to back out of it. They had to learn how to fight for their safety and for the safety of others. 

Martin hated thinking about it. He was attacked intentionally somedays. Sometimes, it was his brother and father who beat him up. He was told that the worst beatings come from someone that you thought you could trust. Martin didn't think that that was an accurate way of teaching that lesson, but of course he didn't dare to say that to anyone. He let it happen. 

The bruises that he would get would stay for days, sometimes weeks. He had too many black eyes to count after a few months of training and he had fractured his wrist once. That didn't stop them from training him, though. Martin begged them once to stop when his wrist was injured, but they didn't. They kept going and going until he was sobbing and screaming at the top of his lungs. That didn't help his injury and in fact, only made it worse. His parents weren't upset with his trainers– They were upset with him for not toughing it out. They told him that he couldn't let injuries get to him during times when his life was in danger. Martin agreed with them just so he could leave and cry in the shower. 

Martin looked down at his hands as Tobias looked over at him. Tobias was wondering why he had gone quiet all of the sudden, but he didn't ask anything at first. Martin seemed to be in a daze and the look on his face told Tobias that he was upset. 

Tobias looked down at Martin's knuckles and saw scars on them. He also saw the rings he wore on his fingers. To him, it looked as if Martin had been punching brick walls for years. Tobias couldn't imagine how bad that must've hurt. He had never punched anyone or anything besides his pillow. He never took a self defense class because he didn't think that he'd ever need one. He never got into physical fights either because he thought that they were pointless and didn't solve anything. 

"Are you alright?" Tobias asked him. Martin calmly brought his head up and looked over at Tobias, dropping his hands down into his lap so he wouldn't have to look at them anymore. "You got quiet."

"Yeah, sorry," Martin apologized quickly, "I zone out a lot."

"No worries. I do, too," Tobias assured him. 

Martin gave him a smile then leaned back against the couch. Tobias's couch was more comfortable than his, but he didn't bring it up. Martin didn't have as much money as Tobias's family did and that was to be expected. 

"I like your house," Martin said, "It's really calm and it actually feels like a home."

Tobias scoffed. "Doesn't feel like that to me. I mean, it's calm, but..." He shrugged and looked around the living room. The walls were white with a few small paintings hanging up against them and the curtains were a dark green color to block out most of the sunlight. The floor was hardwood and dark to go against the light color of the walls. Tobias shook his head then looked at Martin. "It doesn't feel like a home to me."

Martin offered him a soft smile. "You miss Linköping, don't you?"

"I do. Now, Linköping..." Tobias chuckled and smiled sadly. "That feels like home."

Martin also wanted to leave Stockholm. He always thought about it, but he never did. His parents always said that he would be risking his life if he left the city or the clergy. He didn't see how that was, but he didn't want to test his luck either. Against his dreams, he stayed inside the house and stayed within the Stockholm city limits. That didn't stop his mind from wandering out of the walls of either of them, though. 

"What is moving like?" Martin asked cluelessly, "I can't remember much from when I moved."

"It's very stressful. It's an emotional thing to do and I hated it," Tobias started off, "and it's almost always screwed up. You lose things, forget something, or break something. That's one of the hardest parts. I think it is, at least."

"Ah, I can see that," Martin said, "I wouldn't mind losing what I have now, though."

"You're telling me." Tobias glanced toward the window then sighed. "I hate it here."

"I do, too," Martin agreed through a mumble. 

Tobias knew that Martin had it worse. He probably was dying to get out and live. How he felt was probably nothing compared to what Martin felt. That made him feel terrible. All of this time, he had been thinking that he had it bad when he didn't even stop to think that someone else had it worse than him. It didn't help to know that he had been a dick to Martin when they first started to see each other. 

With a soft laugh passing his lips, Tobias looked at Martin, "We should just run away. Catch a bus out of town or something. A train. Take a car. Leave in the middle of the night and leave our stuff so they don't know where we went."

Martin smiled sadly at him. "Shit, Tobias," he said quietly, "if only it were that easy for us right now."

"What do you mean?"

"Your grandfather..." Martin's eyes traveled across Tobias's face for a short moment. He couldn't give away much information, but he had to bring up something in order for Tobias to turn against his grandfather. "His reign stretches far beyond the limits of Stockholm."

Tobias blinked with a look of confusion taking over his face. "I doubt he did anything in Linköping-"

"He didn't. There was nothing there for him," Martin told him, "but those long trips he used to take... The weeks where he'd be gone and would hardly ever talk to your family..." Tobias looked down at the couch as Martin spoke. He didn't want to believe him, but something in his mind was yelling at him and telling him that this was important and that he needed to hear this. "He was doing things... But he wasn't at any old church half the time."

Before he knew it, a flash of anger took over Tobias. He snapped his hand up and grabbed Martin by the throat, pulling him so close that their noses were touching. All Martin did was swallow and slow down his breathing as he locked eye contact with Tobias. This position wasn't new to him and with all due respect, Tobias's grip wasn't all that tight.

"How dare you tell me that kind of shit," Tobias growled lowly, "You think you can just sit here and tell me that my grandfather has been lying to me, to everyone, about what he does?"

Martin paused then spoke softly, "I don't want you getting hurt."

"You're the one who's about to get hurt," Tobias warned him. He tightened his grip on Martin's throat, listening to him moan in discomfort. 

Martin knew that he had to get out of this. Tobias had to listen to him. But Martin couldn't talk with Tobias's hand around his throat.

Although he didn't want to, Martin knew that he had to manipulate him. In the back of his mind, he told himself to go the easy route instead of the harder one. He didn't want to lodge himself into Tobias's mind unless he absolutely had to. For now, he would do the more obvious things in order for Tobias to let him go and consider what he was telling him. 

"Your grandfather-"

"Shut up," Tobias said with a grunt as he tightened his grip on Martin's neck. 

Without hesitating, Martin moaned, and not like he had done before. He made it sexual to distract Tobias and to get him onto another topic so that he could shift his mindset into a calmer one. 

Tobias's eyes went wide and he felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. He loosened his grip on Martin's neck, but it wasn't long before Martin grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand harder against his throat. Their eyes were locked again and things were quiet aside from their breathing. The moment had taken a sudden twist that Tobias wasn't expecting, but he wasn't sure how to feel about it yet. 

"Sorry," Martin mumbled as he pulled Tobias's hand back enough to speak, "I like being choked."

"Oh..." Tobias whispered, his gaze falling to his fingers as they rested near the other's lips. 

"I like how your hands feel, too... Would you like to feel mine?" Martin asked with a small smirk on his lips.

Tobias didn't want to give in, but he did. He couldn't help it. His body was suddenly aching for some sort of contact and Martin was offering. He'd be foolish to turn down his offer.

"Yes... please," Tobias whispered bashfully.

Martin smiled at him then wrapped his hand around Tobias's throat to squeeze lightly. Heat colored his pale cheeks red and his green eyes became shielded by his eyelids within a split second. Tobias's breath caught in his throat as he moaned and leaned into Martin's hand, desperate to feel more of his skin on his. 

Suddenly, Tobias grabbed Martin's hand and took it off his throat to spread his fingers out. Without leaving any room for hesitation, Tobias brought Martin's fingers between his lips, he sucked on them gently at first and kept his eyes open to watch his reaction. Martin was obviously flustered– His mouth agape and his eyes beginning to darken as his fingers twitched in Tobias's mouth. Tobias ran his tongue over them once more before he pulled them out, though he let Martin's fingers rest against his bottom lip as he spoke, "I think I like your form of dominance."

"I-I–" Martin stammered and searched for a coherent sentence. His mind wasn't working and all he could think about was how Tobias's mouth and tongue felt against his skin. Being lonely and shamefully a virgin, he couldn't help but think about how they would feel against another area of his body. 

He hesitated for a moment to look Tobias over. He was grown and lanky like he was, but he looked so innocent with his green eyes staring up at his like he was waiting to be ordered around or beaten down to a pulp in a way that was far from abusive. Martin hadn't been in a situation like this before, but it felt different than what he thought it'd feel like. There was a rush of adrenaline because of Tobias's background and because of everything that was at hand– His grandfather, their safety, and how much trouble they could get in for something like this. 

This was one of the only times that Martin could ignore his mind and he knew it. While it was telling him to call it off, other parts of him told him to keep going. Martin didn't want to start a war within himself so before that could happen, he shoved his fingers back into Tobias's mouth as his other hand came up to grab his neck again, his fingers applying pressure to the sides of it. 

Martin wasn't planning on becoming turned on, but that's what was happening. Before he could control it, this wasn't about making Tobias turn against his grandfather. He couldn't deny that he found Tobias to be attractive and that he thought about him in ways that he shouldn't have, and he also couldn't deny that he wanted something to happen. He wasn't looking for sex, but he knew that it would be nice to finally relieve some of the sexual frustration that he had pent up. It's not like he could take it out on anyone in his family. He wasn't allowed to have sex with anyone. That would've risked his identity and safety. At least he felt safe with Tobias and he trusted him. 

"You look cute with your mouth wrapped around my fingers," Martin said in a lower tone of voice. Tobias was blushing as he sucked on his fingers, a wave of heat flooding him instantly as Martin groaned under his breath. That was a noise that he had only dreamed of hearing from someone else. He brought his eyes back to Martin's to look at him when he spoke, nearly melting from his words, "I know they trained you to be good... I want to see how good you can be."

Martin took his hand away from Tobias's neck to guide him down onto his back on the couch without removing his fingers from his mouth. He didn't want to stop now. Not when he was so close to getting somewhere with a cute guy. This was a relief for him. It was a break from the pain and confusion and anxiety that he felt from everything that was being thrown at him. Even though Tobias wasn't exactly the man that he had been expecting to do things with, he wasn't complaining at all. 

Tobias grabbed Martin's wrist to force his fingers deeper into his mouth, his legs wrapping around Martin's waist to tug his body down on top of his. Their hips met and Martin propped himself up on his elbows, his face only inches away from Tobias's at this point. The heat between them was nearly enough to suffocate anyone who was watching, but thankfully, they were alone. Martin took his free hand and brushed his fingers down the side of Tobias's face softly instead of putting on his throat again, resisting the urge to move his lower half down against the other's. 

"You're needy, aren't you?" Martin questioned as Tobias kept his fingers deep inside his mouth. Tobias looked up at him with dark green eyes, his pink lips sealed perfectly around his fingers. Martin's fingers were thick and Tobias was already daydreaming about how they'd feel elsewhere, the thought only fueling how heated the rest of his body felt. "All this time when I wanted you to be quiet and let me speak, I could've just slipped my fingers in your mouth and you would've went quiet."

A smile formed across Tobias's lips, even as they were around Martin's fingers. The smile made Martin smile. He didn't know why he was grinning, but he couldn't stop it and he wasn't upset with it. He was living in how many good feelings that were coursing through his body in that moment 

"You're cute," Martin whispered. Tobias only smiled more from the compliment. He knew that they were doing something slightly sexual, but he heard the honesty in Martin's voice. That was more than enough for him. Martin retracted his fingers from Tobias's mouth to watch his lips glisten in the dim light of the room. The sight was breathtaking. Martin couldn't look away and he didn't want to. Tobias had nice lips to begin with and the only looked even more beautiful when they were wet with his saliva. "God, you're a tease, too."

"Only sometimes," Tobias said innocently.

"Sure," Martin scoffed, "What other kinks do you have?"

"Now it's my turn to not tell you something," Tobias whispered with a soft smile, "You'll have to figure them out for yourself."

"Shh..." Martin shushed him playfully as he guided his fingers back into Tobias's mouth. Just like before, Tobias sucked on them willingly. He shut his eyes this time and rested his head back completely to enjoy the moment, his lips vibrating slightly around Martin as he moaned softly. Martin felt another groan building up in his throat, but he pushed it down. "You're so good at this."

Angling his arm differently without removing his fingers from Tobias's mouth, he leaned down to press his lips to Tobias's neck. Almost immediately, Tobias tilted his head back to give Martin more skin to reach. Martin pressed kisses to his neck and bit at it occasionally just to earn Tobias's attention. He didn't want to leave any marks in fear of landing Tobias in trouble, but he couldn't resist. Tobias's hair wasn't long enough to cover most of his neck, so Martin left a mark below his ear where his hair would cover it. While he was sucking and biting at his skin, Tobias was moaning around his fingers and lifting his hips up off the couch. Martin could feel him getting more and more worked up the longer that he kissed his neck, but he knew that neither of them wanted to stop. 

Martin's lips felt cold against him at first, but after a few minutes, they felt warm and wet. The sensation was enough to drive Tobias crazy– In a good way for once in his life. He couldn't help but react to all of it. While he tried to control himself a few times, he couldn't stop it. His body knew what it wanted and so did his mind. While things had escalated quickly, Tobias didn't mind that this is where it was ending up. 

"God, I wanna feel more of you," Martin whispered directly into Tobias's ear after nipping at his earlobe. Tobias moaned again and writhed beneath him, his legs tightening around Martin's waist. "You're so hot."

Tobias opened his mouth and pulled Martin's fingers back enough to speak, his voice breathy and soft, "I wanna feel you, too."

Martin bit at Tobias's neck again which earned him a moan of his name from the younger male. Martin didn't know that he would find it so attractive when someone moaned his name. Of course it had happened before in a different light, but it felt better when Tobias said it. He couldn't pinpoint why that was, but he wasn't questioning it. 

Just as Martin was about to lean down to connect their lips, he heard a car pulling in the driveway. The gravel was noisy and so was his grandfather's car. Tobias heard it too and pulled Martin's fingers away completely, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

"Oh, shit," he said in a clearly panicked tone of voice. 

"Fuck," Martin said in the same tone. He scrambled off of Tobias then helped him up, throwing the blanket off of them and letting it land on a pile on the floor. "Fuck, I gotta go, I have to get out of here."

"Yeah, you do, hurry!"

Martin hissed quietly as he heard the car door shut. He ran over to the door and grabbed his shoes, not bothering to put them on before he ran back to Tobias. He pressed his lips to Tobias's cheek, kissing it before he pulled away. "I'll see you soon. And keep the movies. Bye."

"Get home safe," Tobias called out to him as Martin raced towards the back door. Martin smiled at him over his shoulder before he slipped out quickly and quietly before Nihil could walk through the door. 

Nihil walked in and saw Tobias standing up near the couch. He raised his eyebrows and looked around suspiciously, staying quiet until he had checked everything over. "Special, is everything okay?"

"Yes, Papa, why?" Tobias asked blandly like he usually would've. "I was just stretching and watching movies I bought. I got bored with watching the same ones we have."

Nihil saw through Tobias's lies because of how uninterested and disconnected Tobias always seemed to be. That wasn't hard to fake when Tobias knew the feeling and the tone better than anything else. 

"I thought I heard something..." Nihil said. 

Tobias felt panic slam into him, but he didn't make it obvious. "It was the movie. I had the sound up pretty high before you came in. But it was ending, so."

"I see... How was your day?"

"Good," he answered shortly, "but I'm tired and I don't feel well. I'm going to head to bed, Papa Nihil."

"Alright, well... Sleep well, Special."

Tobias nodded and grabbed the blanket off the floor to set it back on the couch. "Thank you. You, too, Papa."

They left the conversation at that and Tobias went up to his room with his movies in hand. He didn't want his father looking them over just in case Martin had written anything on them. Martin was proving himself to be unpredictable, but not in an entirely bad way. 

Tobias shut the door to his room after he had gotten ready for bed, the taste of Martin's skin still on his lips. He wanted to feel more of him– Specifically his lips since he hadn't gotten the chance to. He had felt them on his neck, but that was quickly becoming less than enough. He wanted Martin's lips on his. Tobias didn't want to overthink how he felt about Martin, though. There were still plenty of things that he didn't know about him or his grandfather and he didn't want this to interfere with the bigger situation at hand. 

He laid in his bed with his eyes focused on the ceiling. The bed felt empty without Martin there. They had been sitting with one another all night up until then. It felt odd to not have someone next to him or under him. Tobias forced down the feeling and turned onto his side to fall asleep, unable to stop himself from thinking about Martin until he gained unconsciousness.


	11. Chapter Eleven

## Chapter Eleven

Nobody had noticed the marks on Tobias's neck. He was thankful that Martin put the darker ones in places that were covered by his hair because if someone would've seen them, they would've been curious about how he acquired them. Even though he could say that he hooked up with someone, he didn't feel comfortable doing so. This was a private matter. No one else could know about what they did.

Meanwhile, Martin didn't want to think about what was going to come after the occult was done with Tobias's grandfather. He didn't want to lose him as a friend or in general. He could feel himself getting attached- which was something that he never wanted to do- and he hated it. He wished that he could ignore his feelings like the rest of the people in his family, but he couldn't. Martin wasn't wired that way and he knew it. Thanks to Tobias, he was facing it even more so now than before. 

Another thing that Martin didn't want to think about was how things would turn out for Tobias's grandfather. He knew that this wasn't going to end well for him because of how badly he had pissed off the members of Martin's family. When somebody wronged them to the extent that Nihil had, the only viable option for them was death. Martin didn't want to hurt Tobias by letting his grandfather die, but he didn't want Tobias to be in danger either. Nihil was a ticking time bomb and now that Tobias knew that he was a target, it was only a matter of time before Nihil went off. 

The thought made Martin want to take Tobias and hide him away. He didn't want Tobias to get hurt, but he couldn't stop everything. Some things had to happen in order for the result to come together. Martin wanted to change that, but he couldn't. That wasn't his call and it never would be. 

Robert had laid off on him due to Martin doing more work than necessary when he was around. For once, Martin thought that Robert was proud of him. They talked about how things with Tobias were going every once and awhile, and since the business worked slowly with people every so often, Robert wasn't worried about things going slow. He told Martin that he wanted him to do a good job and to take his time, but to not take too much time. He didn't want this to go on for years like it had already. 

Martin knew the full details of what Nihil had done and it made him want to kill him himself. He was disgusted that Tobias had to live with him. Tobias deserved so much better in life and Martin wanted to tell him and show that to him, but he couldn't. The time hadn't come. 

He was slowly figuring out that Tobias was becoming more than just someone he had to watch. Tobias was his friend by now and even more than that. While Martin had never really had a crush on anyone besides people on television shows, Tobias was his crush. He hated saying that to himself because he hated how it sounded, but that's what Tobias was. 

He thought about Tobias more often than not. Even when he was sitting down and listening to his parents ramble on in tongues about something, Martin was thinking about Tobias. He couldn't stop thinking about what they had done on his couch. He wanted to finish it, but he had a job to do sadly. 

Every idea he had about getting things to turn well between him and Tobias landed at a dead end. That scared him. Losing Tobias wasn't going to feel good and he wasn't prepared for that. Not when Tobias was his first real friend and his first real crush. 

He didn't know if this happened to anyone else in the occult. He doubted that people got romantically attracted to people that they were supposed to clock or take out. He felt like he was the only one dealing with something like this and that didn't help in the slightest bit. Martin wanted to feel sure of himself for once in his life, but being a part of the occult wasn't the place to do that. Not for him, at least.

The feeling that he was trapped wasn't going away. It was only getting worse and becoming even more unbearable. Martin wanted to do something with his life. He didn't want to grow up in this community and carry out his life in the clergy where he was surrounded by sin, darkness, and murder constantly. Even though he was thirty, he had had enough. He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle this for much longer. He was an adult and he thought that he should have a say in what he wanted to do, but that wasn't available to him. That was out of his reach and out of range of possibility. 

A part of Martin felt envious of Tobias. Although Tobias didn't feel that way and seemed to hate his life, Martin wanted parts of it– Minus his grandfather and what happened to his father. Martin wanted to live like Tobias did before his father vanished. He wanted to be able to have a relationship with his father and lean on him when he felt sad. Tobias didn't seem to notice that that had been available to him while Martin had grown up in a household where he was always second best at everything. However, Martin wasn't the type of person to yell at somebody until they realized how privileged they were in comparison to him. Martin wasn't the type to yell in general. 

It was late at night and Martin was done waiting at home. He wanted to go out. He had watched Tobias a bit earlier, but Tobias hadn't seen him. Martin didn't want to be seen either. He was afraid that it would only fuel his liking for him. 

But Martin wasn't stupid. He knew that avoiding Tobias wouldn't do him any good. He had to watch him. Staying away wouldn't stop his feelings from escalating and he was quickly realizing that against his will. It was killing him. Martin hated feelings more than he thought he did. He hated them even more when he couldn't stop or change them. 

"I have a bad feeling," Martin said as he slipped on his sweatshirt. He was standing near the front door talking to his parents as they sat in the living room on the couch. They looked at him and didn't ask any questions. "I'll be back later or tomorrow morning. Is that alright?"

"Don't get caught," his father said, "You know that we won't help you."

"Yes, father, I know," Martin said lowly. 

At that point, Martin didn't care what happened to him. As long as Tobias remained unharmed, his own well-being didn't matter to him. 

Martin made his way to Tobias's house on his bike. He wasn't wearing his cassock this time. Since it was late, he was wearing sweatpants. They were comfortable and he didn't want to change. If he was going to be stopped by someone from his family then he was going to disappoint them by being underdressed. That night, he was past the point of caring so he didn't let that get to him. 

He knew that this would be risky. Nihil was home by this time and he couldn't get in through the front door. Tobias had a window and tree by it. Martin would have to climb it in order to get Tobias's attention. 

Martin knew that Tobias didn't go to bed this early which eased part of his nerves. He was still anxious about getting caught. In his head, he began to piece together a story in case Nihil walked into Tobias's room while he was there. He would say that he was Tobias's friend from the church and that Tobias called him over because he needed spiritual guidance. Martin was good with prayers so if Nihil happened to ask about what was wrong, he could make something up and pull the wool over Nihil's eyes. 

Martin didn't want to keep his bike near Tobias's house, so he parked it a few houses down near a garage. He hoped that nobody would spot it and take it, but having his bike stolen would be better than getting caught. From there on, he walked and kept his steps silent, his eyes fixated on Tobias's house to watch the windows. At any sign of movement, he'd turn around and walk the other direction. He wasn't looking to get killed that night. 

When he came up to the house, he got down and crawled the rest of the way. He was doing what he could to stay as safe as possible. It took him about a minute to get to the tree then it took him another couple minutes to figure out a way to climb up it. Martin was good at climbing. He was fit and muscular which benefitted him for once in his life. Once he had gotten his footing right, he pulled himself up the branches until he got up to the height of Tobias's window. 

He didn't want to be too loud. He knew that he would have to make a jump to get to the window sill, but he was hoping that Tobias would find a way to cover up the noise. Knowing Tobias, he could do that. He was more creative than he made himself out to be. 

Snapping out a couple twigs, Martin straddled a sturdy branch with his back against the tree. He threw the twigs at Tobias's window one at time, not stopping until they got his attention. 

Tobias had his earbuds in and was listening to his music rather loudly. That's what he normally did when he had nothing to do. He would surf the internet and listen to music until he fell asleep. 

In between songs, he heard a couple things hit his window all at once. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and stopped the next song from playing, yanking his earbuds out of his ears to get a better idea of what had distracted him. It took about thirty seconds until he heard the noise again. He didn't know what it could've been. Usually the tree didn't hit his window, but this time it sounded like it was barely scraping against it. 

Tobias stood up and drew back the curtains to his window. When he saw Martin in the tree, he gasped aloud and stumbled backwards. While Martin found his reaction funny, Tobias didn't. He felt like he was going to pass out from the sudden scare. 

Throwing his window open, Tobias hissed quietly to him, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I wanted to stay the night," Martin said nonchalantly, "Sorry I didn't give you a heads up."

"You're telling me," Tobias grumbled. He looked at the branch that Martin was on then he looked down at the window sill. There was a good ten feet between them and the branch only stretched out another eight feet before it curved downwards. "How are you gonna get in here?"

"I'm gonna jump," Martin said. 

"You're gonna die is what you're gonna do if you jump."

"Make a loud noise when I'm jumping just so Papa Nihil won't hear me coming in."

Tobias didn't know how well that would work out, but he missed Martin. He hadn't seen him in a couple days and he wanted to make up for lost time. He sighed deeply and looked over his shoulder to make sure that his grandfather hadn't already come up, turning to Martin again afterwards. 

"Fine. Be careful, though. If you fall, you're screwed."

"More like we're dead."

Tobias tried to ignore his comment. He didn't want to think about what could happen to them at the moment. He backed away from the window to grab his laptop, making sure that the song was still paused before he unplugged his earbuds. There was a small stereo system in his room with an aux cord that he could use to hook his laptop up. Even though he knew that it would be loud, he also knew that it would block out any other noise that Martin could make while jumping in. 

"You ready?" Tobias asked as he held his laptop in his hand. 

Martin gave him two thumbs up and an enthusiastic smile. "As I'll ever be. Play the music."

Tobias nodded and did as he was told. The noise was enough to make him flinch. Martin, however, wasn't affected by it. Before Tobias knew it, Martin had landed with his legs inside the window. He groaned in pain from the impact that it had on the rest of his body, but he didn't let that stop him. He slid inside the house and shut the window behind him, the music turning off once Martin was on his feet. 

"Are you okay?" Tobias asked as he watched Martin reach behind himself in discomfort. 

"Yeah," he groaned out, "I just hurt my ass and thighs."

"Good thing you have a nice ass. That must've helped."

Martin laughed as Tobias smirked at him and reached out to grab his shirt near the collar. He dragged Martin to him and he loosened his grip on his shirt the closer that he got. While Tobias wasn't one to be dominant, he enjoyed teasing Martin and testing him whenever he could. 

"Are you saying you've looked at my ass before?" Martin asked with the smirk still present on his lips. 

Tobias smirked back and shrugged. "Can you blame me?"

"Nope, not one-"

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs interrupted them. Martin went silent and Tobias was quick to usher him into his closet, shoving him behind his shirts and jackets to hide him well. After he shut the closet door, Tobias got into bed and placed his laptop in front of him, acting natural so that Nihil wouldn't be suspicious when he came into the room. 

When Nihil opened the door, he looked at Tobias's speakers then at him. Tobias looked up from his laptop with a tired look on his face, one that didn't give Nihil a reason to be curious about what had happened. 

"Keep your music down. I have to sleep," Nihil told him gruffly. 

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know how loud it would be, Papa," Tobias said lowly. 

Martin listened to their conversation from the closet. Whenever Nihil spoke, chills ran up his arms. He knew what he was capable of and that made him want to attack him. Martin couldn't do that though because that wasn't his job. He also didn't stand a chance against him. 

Tobias wasn't interested in talking to his grandfather. The longer that the dull conversation carried out, the shorter his responses became. Thankfully, Nihil got the hint and left shortly after, reminding Tobias once again that he didn't want to hear his music while he was trying to sleep. 

In the closet, Martin waited until Nihil was downstairs again before he came out. He couldn't help but laugh as he walked out, looking back at the closet and saying, "I guess I finally came out of the closet."

Tobias couldn't help but laugh from his lame joke. He rolled his eyes and shut his laptop before he moved it off the bed. Since he knew now that his grandfather was awake, he had to be quiet and cautious with everything that he was doing. Silently, he got off his bed and walked over to Martin, nudging his hand against Martin's stomach before dropping it to his side. 

"You almost got us caught," Tobias whispered to him, "You're such a dumb ass."

"I think you're starting to like me, though," Martin teased with a smile curving his lips. 

Tobias hated it when he would smile. For some reason, Martin's smile was one of the brightest things he had ever seen. It was one of the only things that Tobias liked about Stockholm. He didn't expect or plan on liking someone from this place, but suddenly, all of that was changing. He wasn't sure if it was a full-blown crush, but he knew that it was an interest. 

"Am I?" Tobias questioned jokingly, "What if you're wrong?"

"Then I guess I'll have to find someone else to suck my fingers instead." Martin laughed quietly, a few soft giggles passing his lips as he looked into Tobias's eyes. "That might be hard to do, though."

"Not too hard."

"For me, yes."

"Nah, anyone would do it because you're... you. Between you and I, you're the only person that I like here," Tobias said as he inched his face closer to Martin's, "But I guess my secret's safe with you since I'm the only one you really talk to... Right?"

"You're right..." Martin rested his forehead against Tobias's and gave in to his urge to wrap his arms around his waist. Tobias's arms came up and wrapped around Martin's neck, even though he was hesitant to do so. He wasn't one to express emotions this early on, but he knew that this time it was different. Martin would be gone one day. He had to get enough of him while he could. "You don't like your grandfather?"

"You're giving me a couple reasons to not like him," Tobias admitted, "so, you know."

"You never were close to him."

"Not really. Are you close to your family?"

Martin shrugged and shut his eyes. This was a difficult subject for him. Even though his parents were caring every now and then, he was never close to them like average kids were with their parents. Martin was raised differently, which meant that his parents weren't too close to him. They favored his older siblings. He felt forgotten more often than not and he felt ignored. 

"No," Martin said through a mumble, "No, I'm not."

"I'm sorry," Tobias said softly. He sensed that he had upset Martin from the question, so he backed up his train of thought and changed the topic of the conversation. "Want to lie down?"

"With you?"

"No, with the ghost that lives in here with me."

Martin rolled his eyes and broke away from Tobias. "You're a loser."

"Bullshit."

They moved to lie down in Tobias's bed. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but once they found a decent position, Martin quickly became drowsy. 

Martin's head was resting near Tobias's shoulder and their legs were tangled up within each other's. Both had one arm across the other after Tobias had shut his lamp off and their chests touched occasionally as they breathed. 

"When are you going to leave?" Tobias asked, "Not that I want you to."

"In the morning," Martin said sleepily, "Maybe before Nihil leaves. I don't want anything bad to happen."

"I doubt that he'll come in here. He never does."

"Yeah... Maybe I'll just hide in the closet till he leaves tomorrow morning."

"That's a good idea. Then you can come back to bed and lie with me."

"I wouldn't want to do anything else."

Tobias found himself smiling from Martin's comment. He didn't want to become attached, though that was happening before his very eyes. He didn't want to get hurt again. Once his father had left, he was done with pain. He didn't want to feel it ever again. Now, it looked like he was about to feel it all over again, even though he didn't want to experience it. 

He knew better than to push Martin away. For the first time in this god forsaken city, he had a friend and he had someone that he cared about. Martin was making things easier in certain ways and Tobias appreciated that. Without him, Tobias would be miserable like he was before he came around. Tobias didn't want to feel that anymore. If he could keep Martin around for awhile, he'd be alright. That's all he wanted in the first place. 

"What will happen after things get taken care of?" Tobias asked, "Will I see you again?"

Martin opened his eyes despite how tired he was and he frowned. He knew the truth. It would hurt Tobias, but not as much as it would hurt him. 

"I... Don't know," Martin lied, "I guess we'll find out."

"What will happen to my grandfather?"

"Tobias, I can't tell..."

"Please, Martin," Tobias begged. He felt his voice threatening to break suddenly and he squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to become emotional. Not when they were his close to each other. "I won't tell anyone else."

Martin sighed and shook his head, burying his face into Tobias's chest and tucking himself into his body. "I'm sorry that this is how things are."

"I don't want to lose you," Tobias brought himself to say, "I hate saying this, but I like having you around."

Against his chest, Martin nodded. "I like being around."

Tobias went quiet and dropped his head to press a few kisses to Martin's head. He didn't want either of them to be upset. He knew that pain would be coming sooner than he'd like and he didn't want to feel any of it prematurely. Martin squeezed him lightly and Tobias returned the gesture, something in his mind screaming at him to feel more of Martin. 

He listened to the voice and he pulled himself on top of Martin. Martin lifted his head and looked up at Tobias, his eyes wandering over face. In the dim light from the streetlight outside, Martin swore that he could see Tobias's emerald green eyes twinkling. It caught him off-guard and captured his attention quickly. Tobias didn't mind the long lasting eye contact. Martin's eyes were beautiful. He had never seen eyes bluer than his. It was like someone had stolen some color from the sky and gave it to Martin when he was born. Tobias found it to be breathtaking. 

"I want to ask you something," Tobias whispered, his voice now sounding sleepy like Martin's. 

"What is it?"

"Will you meet me when I'm done with my things at the church on Friday? I want to take you out."

"I can't go out-"

"Not like that," Tobias interrupted to clarify, "I'll take you down to the field and take some food from the church that we can eat."

Martin felt his heart skip with happiness in his chest. He had never been on a date, but he watched people ask others out. He knew that Tobias was asking him out on a date and it was more than exciting for him. 

"I... Yeah..." Martin said slowly and in shock. He smiled brightly at Tobias and he giggled softly, nodding enthusiastically as he spoke, "I like that, we can do it."

"Good," Tobias whispered with an equally bright smile. He leaned up and kissed the tip of Martin's nose, brushing his nose against it afterwards. "You look tired."

"I am." Martin relaxed beneath Tobias and rested his head on the pillow at a different angle, humming softly when he found a comfortable position. "Are you comfy?"

"I'm okay," Tobias told him. He rubbed his hand up and down Martin's back, gently scratching him and sighing as he started to become more drowsy. "I hope you sleep well and have sweet dreams."

Martin smiled through his fatigue and nodded, quietly replying with, "You, too. Goodnight, Tobias."

"Goodnight, Martin."

-

The next morning when Nihil woke up, he had a weird feeling. He couldn't pinpoint it, but it was unsettling. He glanced around the living room after he had gotten ready then he looked at the stairs. 

Nihil was intuitive and could tap into his senses easily. He was an antipope. That was how he was wired and he was used to it. That morning, his senses were telling him that something was off in the house– And that something wasn't good. 

He checked the lower level of the house and opened all the cabinets and cupboards just to be safe. He looked under his bed and around the chairs and couches in the living room, only to find nothing. His eyes landed on the stairs and he raised his eyebrows before he silently crept towards them. 

The floor would creak and groan painfully whenever someone walked upstairs, so his silence didn't last forever. The noise was enough to wake Martin up out of a dead sleep. Much like Nihil, he was able to react to his senses quickly. Without hesitating another second, he silently got out of bed and covered Tobias with the blanket before he went and hid in the closet, shutting the door behind him. 

The last thing that Martin wanted to do was get caught, so he tucked himself into the furthest corner of the closet and covered himself with jackets so all that Nihil would see if he looked in there would be clothes. Martin stayed quiet and leaned his head against the wall, shutting his eyes as he focused on Nihil's footsteps as he paced through the hallway outside of Tobias's room. When the door opened, he shallowed his breathing, not wanting to make a sound. It was hard to breathe underneath the clothing to begin with, but he wasn't about to uncover his face while Nihil was in the room. 

Nihil looked at Tobias as he slept in bed and quietly snuck around, the floor creaking occasionally whenever he stepped on a weak board. The feeling that he had was only growing, but he didn't see anything off in Tobias's room. He checked under the bed and didn't see anything except for random notebooks, groaning softly in disappointment then standing up straight. He turned his head and looked at the closet, eyeing it for a moment then walking over to it and opening the door. 

Martin stayed still and stopped his breathing when the door opened. He knew he was hidden and that he couldn't be seen, but he didn't want to risk anything. The door was only open for a few seconds, but even after it closed, Martin didn't move. He allowed himself to breathe, but didn't do anything else. 

Nihil gave up and shook the feeling off as he walked back downstairs and grabbed his things. Maybe his senses had been wrong for once. He left the house and got into the car that was waiting for him without giving it a second thought. 

Martin heard the car pull away and only then did he emerge from the closet. He looked out the window just to watch Nihil drive down the street to make sure that he was in the clear before he got back into bed with Tobias. Instead of laying beneath him again, he laid by his side and wrapped his arm around him, resting his head next to Tobias's shoulder. 

Anxiety was rushing through him, but so was fatigue. For the first time in a long time, his fatigue overpowered his anxiety and he fell asleep. He didn't have time to think about why that was, but he didn't want to question it. He just wanted to let it happen– And that's exactly what he did.


	12. Chapter Twelve

## Chapter Twelve

Like they had planned, Tobias and Martin made their way to the field south of the church with a backpack full of snacks and drinks. Martin was too excited to express how he felt and during the entire walk, all he did was smile. Tobias would look over at him and laugh at him for beaming as brightly as he was, but he liked it. He was glad to see Martin smiling. It was a change from how he usually looked.

The stress and anxiety that usually lingered across Martin's face wasn't there as they made it to the field. He was happy and full of joy. That expression fit him better than the negative one that he typically wore. Tobias couldn't help but glimpse at him every now and then because of it either.

Martin never went far from home. The field was far which is why he had never been there before. Tobias told him that he had been there previously and that's how he knew about the area. He also told him that it could be their hideout if they ever wanted to get away from everything that they had to deal with in their lives.

The sun was due to set in about an hour and a half, though neither of them minded the possibility of being out after dark. Even though Martin didn't like carrying a loaded gun, he had one on him that night. He also had a switchblade knife, but Tobias was carrying that just in case something happened and they got separated.

They sat down in the field after they checked for anyone that might've followed them, not wanting to get caught by a member of the church. They didn't want anyone to ruin their first date and they were going to make sure of it. 

"Are you good at shooting guns?" Tobias asked as he picked up a bag of chips from inside the backpack, "I've never shot a gun."

"I'm okay at it. At least I can hit a target," Martin said with a shrug, "I don't know if it's like this for any other clergy, but with mine, they trained us like we were going into a Third World War. We would box, shoot guns, throw knives, practicing hitting and cutting arteries or organs... The training was tough. I messed up my hand bad in the process."

Tobias ate as he spoke and thought about what that must've been like. He had never done anything like that and he didn't want to. Shooting guns for fun was enough for him. His father taught him that violence wasn't always the answer and he still lived by that saying. His words had proven right and he hoped that they always would.

Nonchalantly, Tobias grabbed the knife from where it was and flipped it around between his fingers, not having to look as he did so. Martin was mesmerized by his actions. He had seen people do it before, but everything Tobias did captivated him. It was as if he was looking at something new for the first time. 

"Aren't you afraid you'll hurt yourself doing that?" Martin asked as he raised his eyebrows. He was just waiting for the moment when Tobias would slip up and slice his palm or one of his fingers open. "I can't even twirl a pencil between my fingers."

"If I hurt myself, so be it," Tobias said, "Bloodshed doesn't bother me."

"What about innocent bloodshed?"

"Ah, well, besides that. I meant my own blood."

"Same here. I have a blood kink."

Tobias looked over Martin's face and blinked as he tried to tell whether he was being serious or not. He didn't see any doubt or cracks in his face– Just confusion and curiosity.

"Gods, Martin," Tobias said through a sigh, "I'm fucking astonished that you're into that."

"Why? Do I not fit the type?"

"Nope."

"I'm a demon. Blood is something I'm very passionate about."

Tobias scoffed and shook his head. "No, it's just... I don't see you as a demon."

"What do you see me as? A human?"

"No," Tobias said, "I see you as you. Nothing more, nothing less."

Martin was taken aback by his reply. Never before had someone said something sentimental like that. All he could do was smile and blush from what Tobias said as the antipope's grandson smirked and moved on from the topic. 

"What if a zombie apocalypse happens?" Tobias asked suddenly and seriously. He was a believer in the possibility of an apocalypse of some sort and nobody could tell him differently. "What would you do?"

Martin went silent to think for a minute. Since he didn't do much, he had time to think about what he would do during crazy situations like that. He doubted that most of them would ever happen, but they were interesting to think about.

"First, I would steal a van then get a bunch of gas in those containers and put them in the back. Then, I'd break into houses and stores to get food, water, and weapons, then I'd go to the pharmacy to get some medicine. After that, I would go home, collect the personal things I want to take with me then drive south. I wouldn't want to stay up north because there won't be electric which means no heat and that would suck during the winter. If I go down south then I don't have to worry as much about the winter. It'll be warm a good portion of the time. I'll find a house out in the middle of nowhere down south and rob more houses on the way just to collect more stuff then, I'd settle in and spend the rest of my days there," Martin said as he looked toward the sun, nodding to himself a couple seconds after he had finished speaking.

Tobias was impressed and embarrassed to admit to himself that Martin's plan was better than his. It was obvious that Martin thought about this more than he did, but that wasn't a bad thing. It just meant that if it happened that he would be more prepared and would have a greater chance of survival than other people would.

"Now I feel stupid," Tobias said aloud, "because your plan is a lot better than mine."

Martin laughed and turned to look at Tobias. "Ah, come on! I'm sure your plan is just as good. What is it?"

"It's just stupid," Tobias mumbled with a smile, "and really dumb."

"Tobias!" Martin drew out through a laugh. He nudged his elbow against Tobias's and leaned towards him. "Come on. I won't judge you. I promise."

Tobias was still hesitant, but Martin was curious. He couldn't resist his whining and laughter. It did things to him and he couldn't control that.

"Fine, fine!" Tobias gave in, "But you can't laugh!"

"I won't!" Martin said, "I promise!"

Tobias groaned and rolled his eyes. "Okay. Well, my plan was to leave the city and go to a remote area. Probably live in a forest near a river. I'll have water, protection, food... I'll be away from everything. I don't know. I never tried to go in depth with it."

To Martin, Tobias's plan didn't seem too bad. There were upsides to it. He didn't understand why Tobias would be embarrassed about it, but he wasn't going to intrude on Tobias's personal beliefs about himself.

"I like that idea," Martin told him, "I think it'd work."

"No, yours would work. Mine would work for maybe a month."

"You never know... I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?"

Their eyes met and Martin didn't say anything at first. In the glow of the sunlight, Tobias's eyes looked like diamonds. They were sparkling with each small movement of his eyes and they almost mimicked a kaleidoscope. Martin had one when he was younger and he would look into it whenever he wanted to ignore the things going on around him. Tobias's eyes were starting to do that for him, too. Every time that he looked into them, he felt distracted and calm. Even though Tobias's life was far from tranquil and normal, his eyes reflected those things.

The sunlight peaked out from the individual strands of Tobias's hair and shone through them, landing on Martin's face. Martin didn't mind the light, though. Being outside with Tobias and away from everyone felt nice. The sunset was only making it better. He was quickly beginning to question why he hadn't done this by himself before, but he didn't want to think about it too hard. He wanted to focus on Tobias and how he felt when he was with him.

"If an apocalypse ever happens, we stay together," Martin finally spoke, a small smile curving his pink lips, "I don't want to be alone if that happens."

Tobias laughed at him. "You're a loser... But deal. We'll be apocalypse buddies."

"I like the sound of that. It sounds a little morbid and premeditated, but I like it. It sounds badass, too."

"Well... I guess we are a little badass already."

"How so?"

"I mean..." Tobias sighed. He took a quick look at the sunset then turned to Martin again. "You're in the occult and I'm disobeying my grandfather and the church. I told him that I wouldn't get involved with anything like this and here I am. You aren't supposed to leave your family and here you are. We're both defying everyone and trying to do what we want to do." Tobias smiled at him sadly. "I wish you could do more, though. I can do things whenever I feel like it, but you can't... I wish it were different for you."

Martin found himself smiling– Not sadly, but happily. He was glad that Tobias understood how things were and that he didn't expect any different from the situation at hand. It showed him that Tobias wasn't looking past anything that they had to deal with and that he was dealing with it as best as he could all while allowing himself to be human. Martin wanted to do that and he was trying to. That's why he had been spending more time with Tobias. He couldn't have cared less about liking Tobias only for the occult's benefit. He liked Tobias because that's how things were working out between them personally.

"It's okay," Martin said, "I have you."

"For how long, though?" Tobias questioned like he had done before.

"I don't know, but I won't think about that. We're together right now and that's what matters. When worse comes to worse, I'll do what I came here to do in the first place. I'll protect you and make sure that nobody hurts you."

Tobias bit his lip and looked down. He didn't want to lose Martin. They were good friends and they held valuable conversations. That was something that Tobias missed. Back when his father was still around, they would talk constantly. Before Martin came around, Tobias had been mostly quiet. He was dying to have some sort of communication with someone who could hold a conversation, and Papa Nihil wasn't someone who was like that. Martin showed up and they got to know each other, and Tobias discovered that they had plenty of things to talk about. Not just things about what Martin was involved with, but about how they felt and about things that they liked.

He couldn't lie to himself and say that he didn't like Martin as more than a friend. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he couldn't. Every time that Martin would laugh or smile at him, he would feel his heart clench and speed up. Tobias didn't want to start anything seriously because he didn't know when things would take a turn for the worst, but he didn't want to not do anything either. It would only eat away at him and he would later regret not doing anything.

"Thank you," Tobias said, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Martin smirked and nudged Tobias's elbow with his hand. "You'd stay up in your room on your laptop."

"...I feel attacked. You really just came at me, didn't you?"

"Hell yes, I did!"

"You're mean."

"No, I'm not!"

"You are!"

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Bullshit!"

"It's true!"

Martin smirked at him again and laughed afterwards. He liked playfully arguing with Tobias. They had been genuinely angry and upset with each other before, but the play fights were easygoing and enjoyable. More often than not, they both found themselves laughing in the end. That was something that Martin and Tobias both liked.

Tobias looked back at the forest when he heard a few branches snap then quickly turned his head to see if he could see something anywhere in sight. He didn't see anything, but he heard noises. Martin turned and looked in the same direction of the noise, his ears perking up when he heard it a second time.

"Should we stay here to see if we get caught?" Martin asked.

"Most people would be daring and say yes, but I'm with you and having a great time, so I don't feel like ending my life today," Tobias said.

"Likewise." Martin looked away from the forest and down at the backpack. "Should we get going?"

Tobias pondered for a moment and shrugged. A part of him wanted to stay and a part of him wanted to go. He didn't want the night with Martin to end yet. He was having a good time and things felt relaxed for once.

"Eh... we should stay until we see it," Tobias suggested, "Just get the backpack ready so we can run if it gets too close."

Martin didn't see anything wrong with that. He enjoyed testing limits with Tobias, although all those limits seemed to be life threatening. That was their theme and neither of them noticed it.

After they had everything cleaned up and shoved into the backpack, they stood up in the field and waited for something to emerge from the forest. The energy in the air was changing them before it even came, but that's how they judged how close it was.

"I like spending time with you," Martin said as they waited, "I don't know if I've told you that before or not."

"I can't remember if you have, but it's okay. I like spending time with you, too," Tobias said.

Martin smiled and felt the breeze blow against him, but it was colder than the last. Looking up at the sky, he noticed a cloud starting to blow over and he groaned. His groan caused Tobias to look up, to which he groaned as well.

"Don't tell me it's gonna fucking rain..." Martin grumbled.

"It's Sweden. The weather changes every two minutes here."

Martin shrugged as a way of agreeing with Tobias. The cracks sounded again and he brought his head down, looking at the forest as the branches began to give way. Martin had seen other creatures before, but he didn't want to from this position. He grabbed Tobias's wrist loosely and stepped closer to him, feeling anxiety rush over him before he could stop it.

A shock went through Tobias's body and his heart skipped a beat. He glanced down at Martin's hand on his wrist and swallowed lightly, his eyes trailing over every vein and crack of his skin. His hands looked like works of art and Tobias wanted to feel them all over his body. However, now wasn't the time for him to do so.

"Let's go," Tobias spoke up as the branches parted wider.

"Way ahead of you," Martin said urgently as he stepped out of the field, dragging Tobias along with him.

They ran down the hill that lead up to the field and stayed close to each other as they ran, Martin letting go of Tobias's wrist so he wouldn't restrict him from moving. When they got down to the bottom of the hill, raindrops began falling from the sky and splattering on their skin.

"Oh, fuck!" Tobias exclaimed as he looked up at the sky again. The wind blew heavily and within seconds, raindrops began falling quickly from the clouds. "Follow me, come on!"

They ran again through the sudden downpour of rain and tried to shield themselves as much as they could, though their attempts didn't do much considering that their arms didn't cover a large area of their bodies. Martin didn't know where Tobias was taking him, but he hoped that it wasn't anywhere close to home. When they didn't pass anything that Martin had seen on the way to the field, he felt relieved and wished that they were trying to run out of the city and its entirety.

Tobias stopped running when they got underneath a bridge. It was old and abandoned, and completely unsuitable for any sort of transportation to travel across it, but it was safe to hide under to ride out a storm. That's where the two would stay until the weather let up.

They stayed still and quiet beneath the bridge as they caught their breath and tried to wring their clothes out as much as possible. The sound of the rain was calming and harmless since they were covered, and the occasional boom of thunder and crackle of lightning added a new feeling to the scenario. They both sat down on the gravel beneath the bridge and looked over at each other after they had examined the sky and watched the rain come down.

"This is nice," Martin said softly, "I like this."

"I do, too." Tobias glanced at the sky behind Martin again then looked back at him. "Looks like we won't be going back for awhile."

"Oh, man. What a shame," Martin teased, "I was really looking forward to it."

"I know. I was, too. Such a shame we can't leave," Tobias played along.

"I guess we'll have to stay here. Together. Alone. Under a bridge... In the rain."

"Yep... Alone..."

Silence fell over them again and they tried to avoid eye contact, but it failed. Once their eyes flickered across one another's, they didn't look away. There was tension between them and neither of them could deny it or alter it. Martin's eyes traveled down to Tobias's lips after a few moments then went back up to his eyes, a shy smile showing itself on his face.

Tobias smiled back at him softly and glanced down at his lips. Martin's lips were pink and teasing, even when they weren't doing anything. Tobias remembered the way they felt on his neck and he craved more of it– It would be hard to forget something like that. He wanted to feel his lips elsewhere and now was his chance to.

"Hey, Martin?" He spoke softly, moving closer to him.

"Yeah?" Martin's voice shook slightly, but not in a bad way. He was waiting for something to happen, but he was trying not to get himself excited for something that might or might not come. Like Tobias had done, he moved closer to him, their shoulders now touching each other's.

Tobias didn't say anything else. He looked down at Martin's lips and thought for a moment. This could change everything and he was about to overthink that. He didn't want anything bad to come of it, but he knew that that wouldn't happen. Not unless they allowed it to.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Martin's, his eyes falling shut as soon as their lips made contact. Martin shut his eyes immediately and kissed him back, resting his hand on Tobias's thigh to stabilize his balance.

This was Martin's first kiss and he wasn't disappointed. Tobias's lips felt light, but the kiss was passionate. Somehow, he felt emotion within it and he couldn't figure out how that was happening. Tobias was going so slow with all of his movements and he was being careful as if Martin were going to break apart if he did anything suddenly.

Tobias couldn't believe that this was Martin's first kiss. The way that his lips moved was enough to make Tobias kick it up a notch and how his tongue glided across his subtly was to die for. Unable to help himself, Tobias leaned in and deepened the kiss, to which Martin reacted positively and heated up his actions.

Within the next minute, Martin disconnected their lips and pushed Tobias onto his back, making sure that the backpack was beneath Tobias's head to ensure that he would be able to breathe and stay comfortable. Tobias's breathing was slightly heavy because of how passionately they were kissing before, but he didn't mind it. Martin lowered himself on top of Tobias and looked down at him, smiling softly from how adorable he looked at this angle.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Martin whispered to him. Tobias smiled and wrapped his arms around Martin's neck, his fingers tangling in his wet hair.

"Says you..." Tobias whispered back, "Kiss me again."

Martin smiled at him before he did as he said, kissing him just as passionately as before. The rain fell softer, but neither of them noticed. They were too busy biting at each other's lips to pay attention to the world around them. It felt like it was just the two of them and nothing was out to get them. All they had were their kisses and touches– No worries or problems at all.

Just like how it was on the couch, Tobias was moaning and getting worked up easily. Martin didn't act on what Tobias wanted, though. He wanted to respect him and take things slow, even if Tobias wanted more.

Tobias was alright with holding back, but with Martin, it was hard. Martin was captivating and teasing, even when he didn't mean to be. His lips felt like velvet and all of his touches were needy but so gentle. Tobias wanted to feel his fingertips on his skin constantly because of how delicate they made him feel.

The rain stopped gradually, but the two kept on kissing. Tobias wrapped his legs around Martin's waist to keep their hips pressed against one another's, his hips subtly rocking up into his. Unexpectedly, Martin's body reacted how it wanted to and his hips rolled down against Tobias's. The action earned a moan from the younger male and a bite to Martin's lower lip, sending a wave of heat over their bodies.

Martin groaned into his mouth then pulled away from the kiss, showering Tobias's face with kisses and speaking in between them. "Let's get out of here... We'll go to a hotel and be alone."

"Martin..." Tobias moaned aloud, tightening his legs around his waist. He was mindful of their weapons and made sure that everything he did was careful and thought out so that nothing would happen to them.

As he started to grind downwards against Tobias and earn more needy moans from him, Martin ducked his head down to Tobias's ear to whisper to him, "No one will be there with us and we'll be able to do what we want in private. We can do whatever you want, I promise."

Tobias didn't even have to think. He nodded to what Martin suggested and brought his hands up to run his fingers through his hair. "Let's go."

With a smile forming on his lips, Martin lifted his head to look down at him. He gave him one last kiss then sat up, extending his hand to Tobias.

Within a split second, Tobias's hand was in Martin's and they were on their way to be alone.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

## Chapter Thirteen

The next morning, Martin woke up to Tobias beside him in bed. They were both completely naked and Tobias's hair was a mess, his arms tucked into his chest as he kept his head below Martin's. It took Martin a moment to come to and once he did, he smiled tiredly. Tobias was warm beside him and he looked peaceful.

It wasn't hard to remember what happened. His body was feeling the aftermath of it, but he didn't mind. It was one of the best situations he had ever been in and no matter how he felt afterward, he loved it and longed for it to happen again.

He wished that they could stay in bed forever. He wanted them to stay in that hotel, away from everyone and all of their problems. Every inch of his being preferred to be there than anywhere else. With Tobias, he felt safe and right– Even though the circumstances as a whole were far from safe.

During the times where Martin was faced with complete silence, he couldn't make himself see how Tobias could ever be a bad person. Sure, Tobias wasn't in the greatest position, but he didn't belong there. They both knew that. Tobias was too good for that. He needed to be elsewhere, but at the time, he couldn't. He was stuck where he was and it was killing him. As cliché as Martin knew it sounded, he wanted to save him from all of it and give him a chance to be happy. 

It didn't take long for Tobias to wake up when he felt Martin move beside him. He lifted his head and opened his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed for a moment. Once he made out the figure beside him to be Martin, he calmed down and sighed.

"Morning, Tobias," Martin whispered quietly.

Tobias raised his arm and covered his mouth with it as he yawned. Afterwards, he dropped it and mumbled back to Martin, "Good morning."

"How did you sleep?" Martin asked as he reached out to run his hand through Tobias's wild hair.

"I slept fine... You?"

"I slept great, actually. First time that's happened in a while."

Tobias managed to suppress a sleepy smile before he sat up to try and move. Immediately, he grimaced in pain and groaned, his jaw tensing up and his breath hitching in his throat.

"Shit, are you alright?" Martin asked in a concerned tone of voice. He grabbed Tobias's shoulders and guided him down onto his back, frowning from how uncomfortable the younger male seemed to be. "Did I hurt you last night?"

"Well..." Tobias mumbled again, "You did fuck me in three different positions."

"You can't blame me for that."

"No, I can't, I sat in your lap and I practically asked for that third round."

"You begged for it."

A red tint covered Tobias's cheeks and he laughed softly. His eyes opened and he looked up at Martin, his hand finding Martin's and grabbing it. "Like you said... You can't blame me for that."

Martin smiled down at him with his heart skipping a beat in his chest. "I can't. You seemed to like it."

"I did," Tobias told him. Martin laid down beside him and wrapped his arm around Tobias's body, tugging him closer carefully. After Tobias rested his head by Martin's chest, he continued speaking, "Especially when you took me from behind. Don't get me wrong, missionary is alright, but that position was the best. Riding you is a close second, though."

"You're good at it. I never knew that the antipopes had such strong thighs."

"Nah. Probably just thirty something year old guys who don't want to be involved with their family's satanic church."

They both laughed and Martin ran his hand up and down Tobias's back. He felt bad for taking him so roughly the previous night, but he couldn't help himself. He knew that Tobias was enjoying it at the time, which is why he didn't stop. It was obvious that neither of them thought about the morning after consequences.

Tobias had had sex before, but nothing like that. He knew that he was Martin's first and he was a bit proud of himself for making it as good as it was. The way that Martin responded during everything was enough to make Tobias see stars. He didn't know that he could feel that close to anyone before and now that he knew what it felt like, he didn't want to lose it. He knew that it wasn't something that he would feel very often and that partially scared him. He didn't want to lose Martin. He didn't want to lose what they had and how they made each other feel.

Tobias was beyond sore. He felt like his thighs were going to fall off with every movement he made and all of the areas that gained the most attention just hours before were aching. Not to mention that his lower back felt stiff.

He couldn't help but beg for Martin throughout all of it. He had never felt anything so good and the fact that it was Martin making him feel like that made it that much better. Back when he first met Martin, he didn't know that they would ever do something like this, but he wasn't regretting it. That would be the last thing that he'd ever do.

As they lay in bed, Tobias moved his head back so he could look up at Martin. Martin had his eyes shut again and he appeared to be dozing off. A small smile played on Tobias's lips as he stared at the other, taking in all of his features while he could.

To Tobias, Martin was the most beautiful person in the world. He didn't want to protect anyone else besides him. Tobias knew that there were plenty of evil entities in the world and thankfully, he knew how to stop some of them. However, he lived with one and didn't even realize it. If Martin would tell him about it then he'd get out of the situation, but until then all he could do was sit and wait with a target over his chest. 

They both knew that they couldn't control how things were with them. They couldn't control their families and the households that they were born into. They couldn't control what was going to happen. They couldn't control how their feelings for each other played out. It was a common thought between the two of them that fate was taking the reigns with everything going on. Perhaps if fate took a turn that they didn't like, they could try to stop it with all of their might, but they had yet to do that. They hoped that they wouldn't have to do that and that things would turn out to be much easier than expected.

They were both believers, but they didn't let their beliefs blind them with stupidity and ignorance.

Tobias leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Martin's nose. Even though the action was soft, Martin woke up from it. With a groan, his eyes peeked open once again and a smile immediately took over his features.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I'm really tired."

"It's okay..." Tobias ran his hand through Martin's hair. "I'm gonna go get some breakfast downstairs. Wanna come or wanna stay up here and sleep?"

"I'll be down in a minute. Can you walk?"

"Good question."

Tobias gave a soft chuckle and separated himself from Martin as he moved. Tobias made a few pained noises as he sat up, his hand immediately going to his lower back and pressing against it to try and relieve the discomfort that he felt. It took him a couple minutes, but he managed to get out of bed with a sharp aching feeling throughout his lower half. His head hurt, but he figured that it was from how rough they had been the night before.

Turning around, he looked at Martin with a smile on his face. Martin was peaceful as he slept. He tugged the pillow to his head and kept it there while he breathed slowly and deeply. Tobias had never seen someone look so angelic while sleeping. It was a breathtaking sight and Tobias didn't want to look away.

After he ran his fingers through Martin's hair one last time, he kissed his cheek then made his long, uncomfortable journey down to the main level of the hotel.

–

All Martin knew was that his head was pounding and that his hands were zip-tied behind his back while he was stuck in the back of a van. It was dark and it smelled of blood and ash– A scent that he was all too familiar with. He opened his eyes with a pained groan and shifted in his spot. It hurt to sit upright because he was sore from god knows what. 

He couldn't remember what happened. One minute, someone was walking onto the elevator and standing beside him as Martin was making his journey down to the lobby to meet Tobias for breakfast then the next, he was waking up in someone's van. He was terrified, but he couldn't free himself. Too much of his body hurt for him to fight back.

There was something jammed into his mouth that felt like a cloth. He hoped that it wasn't a sock or anything like it, and he hoped that it would be coming out soon. It was warm and stuffy in the van which made him restless. It showed him that he had been in there for a long time and that maybe he wasn't getting out anytime soon.

Panic set over him when he averted his thoughts to Tobias. If someone knew that he was here then they would know that Tobias was here with him. He didn't want Tobias to be in harm's way, but he knew that that could be a very real possibility.

The thought easily drove him to begin fighting against the zip-ties. He cursed himself for not carrying his weapon down into the lobby with him just to be safe; knowing that if he had his knife that he'd be able to cut himself loose. If his family found out about this then they would definitely be ashamed of him for not being prepared.

Martin grunted and yanked at the zip-ties as hard as he could, focusing on something rather than the pain that flashed through his wrists as he did so. He knew that he had to get out and see if Tobias was okay. He knew that he couldn't let anything happen to him.

This is what he was trained for and he knew it. As he fought against his restraints, he thought about all of the things that he could do to get out. He was taught to evaluate the situation and do what was the best and most effective in order to get out alive. He doubted that he would be the one in a position like this, but now that it was happening, he realized that it could happen to anyone.

His eyes met the opposite wall of the van and an idea flashed into his mind. He stopped struggling with the zip-ties to scoot himself over to the other side of the van, knowing if he could hit the wall that somebody on the outside could hear him. Once he was in front of it, he pulled his legs up to his chest then kicked the wall with all of his might. The thought of never seeing Tobias again was powerful and it was making him do things that he never thought he'd do.

The kicks got harder and faster as he became more and more desperate to get out of the van. He didn't want to be stuck in there. With each kick, it seemed like the walls were caving in around him and trapping him there. It was enough to paralyze him, but he knew how to fight against feelings like that.

He began screaming behind the cloth in his mouth, wanting to be heard even though he knew how muffled his cries were. Anything he could do to get out was being done. Nothing seemed like a bad idea at that point.

Blood ran down his hands as he yanked at the zip-ties again. He hadn't even realized how much he had been struggling with them until he felt the blood. That didn't stop him, though. It only made him fight harder against them.

Suddenly, the back door to the van opened. As quick as it opened, it closed. Another man was in there with him and he held a flash light in his hand while the other was clenched into a fist. Martin's eyes went wide and he screamed again, turning quickly on his bottom and scooting back as fast as he could to get away from the man as he came towards him. When Martin's back hit the furthest wall of the van, he knew that it was over. His eyes met the man in front of him, but the gaze didn't last long. Before he could do anything else, a sharp punch was delivered to the top of his forehead. The hit was hard enough to send Martin's head back against the metal wall of the van.

Martin's ears rang loudly and his vision went blurry. His attempts to move back further stopped, his legs going still as his wrists becoming motionless. The pain was too much. The hit was too hard.

He knew that the man had brass knuckles on because that's what he felt when he hit him. Blood trickled down his forehead from four different places that he could make out, the warm sensation causing him to open his eyes.

He breathed lazily, his eyes half-lidded as he stared up at his attacked. Within seconds, he was able to see who it was.

"You idiot," his father said, "I didn't raise you to do this."

Martin didn't respond. Instead, he shut his eyes and hung his head down.

His father kneeled down in front of him and grabbed his jaw roughly, jerking his head up. Martin opened his eyes and looked at him, blood dripping off of his lower lip and splattering onto his clothes.

"We told you to get him to trust you and it seems as if something deeper has happened," Joe practically growled, "We thought we could trust you. We thought you were ready."

Again, Martin didn't respond.

Joe reached into Martin's mouth and took out the cloth that he had shoved in there when he first took him. Martin immediately began breathing heavily once his mouth could be open completely without hurting, groaning loudly in pain from the extent of his injuries.

"You still haven't even turned him against his grandfather yet, have you?" Joe seethed. Martin shut his eyes and tried to regain his breathing, tuning into what his father was saying, but not responding. Between the blood dripping down his face and the blood covering his hands, he was too occupied to give a coherent response. Joe slammed Martin's head back against the wall again, earning a loud groan followed by a weak whimper from him. "Answer me!"

"I did!" Martin finally spoke, "He doesn't trust him!"

"Good!" Joe let go of Martin's jaw and wiped his blood on his son's shirt. "But that doesn't make up for you being a traitor."

"You told me to get him to like me, I was-"

"You've committed the act of lust... but we never said to indulge in love, which is exactly what you've done!"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"You're not sorry!" Joe yelled at him. The yell brought tears to Martin's eyes and he couldn't help but let them spill as soon as they welled up beyond his control. "Do you know what that means for me?! To have a son whose fallen for the grandson of Papa Nihil?! You think that none of us knew, that none of us followed what you two did?! We all knew what was happening! Now I'm looked down upon for having a son who fucks and loves the son of someone who wronged us!"

"I'm sorry!" Martin cried out. Tears mixed with blood and he breathed wildly, not realizing how dizzy he was becoming from everything. "I can't control who I love, I'm sorry!"

"You're disgusting!" Joe shouted, "I didn't raise you to be like this! I raised you to be a strong man who does things for his family! I didn't raise you to bring dishonor to our name!"

"Father, please-"

"I always knew that you would disappoint me, Omega, but your mother changed my mind and made have faith in you. I knew I should've paid more attention to Alpha all along, but she forced me to love you as much as I love him!" Joe yelled then went quiet as he fumed with anger. Spitting out what had collected in his mouth, he glared at Martin with black eyes, his tone low enough to send vibrations through his bones, "What a mistake I made by thinking that you would amount to all that your brother is."

Hurt slammed into Martin and he looked at his father dead on. Their eyes were locked, but Joe's gaze was far from welcoming. There was rage and disgust spreading throughout them like a wildfire and it made Martin feel like he was about to breakdown.

Martin couldn't bring himself to say anything. It hurt to know that his father thought of him like that. It was embarrassing to think of how everyone was reacting to him falling for another man and disrespecting each and every one of them. 

What hurt the most was that he didn't know what would happen next.

"I'm sorry," Martin whispered, "I didn't mean to."

"Silence. You are nothing to me."

What happened afterwards was a blur. Martin was crying too hard to comprehend anything. All he noticed was that his father shook his head then left the van, leaving the doors open for two more men to come in and take care of Martin. Thankfully, they didn't beat him up like his father had. They cut him loose then shoved him out of the van face first. Martin was so disoriented that he couldn't even try to catch himself. His palms skidded across the pavement of the back alley behind the hotel and his chin hit the cement hard enough for him to cry out in pain. Before he could stand up, the van was pulling away with the back doors shut and the windows rolled up.

Martin laid on his stomach on the ground and cried. He didn't want to move. Everything hurt too much.

He felt like a failure. He knew that he couldn't choose who he was, but his father made him feel guilty for it. He wanted to change everything about so things would be easier for him, but it wasn't that easy. Many times before then, he tried to change himself and it didn't work. It only made him miserable and unhappy. He didn't want to feel like that– He wanted to be happy. Now it seemed like that wasn't possible.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

## Chapter Fourteen

A couple days later, Martin was in the infirmary at the church. To ensure his safety, Tobias gave the nurses special privileges to certain areas of the church if they promised to keep Martin's stay a secret. All was done and taken care of, and Martin secretly received the attention he needed. The cuts on his wrists and his forehead became infected due to the zip-ties and the brass knuckles being unclean. He didn't realize that they were infected until Tobias had seen them when he stopped by Martin's room. 

Tobias had been waiting for Martin to join him when Martin was being tormented by his own. After a half hour or so, a bad feeling spread across his body like a plague. He got up and searched everywhere for Martin. After about an hour, he found him behind the building. Martin wouldn't let him take him to the hospital, so Tobias lead him to the church. Martin stayed for several days and was taken care of by the nurses there, and by Tobias, too, at times. 

To say that Tobias was infuriated with how Martin's family treated him was an understatement. He knew that some parents weren't thrilled about the decisions their children made, but he didn't understand why they beat them up for something like that. It only made things harder on the child. That was becoming very obvious since Martin didn't want to speak about what his father had done to him.

Tobias was sitting beside Martin's bed, running his fingertips over the veins of his wrist. Martin was silent, staring up at the ceiling almost lifelessly. He didn't want to move or speak. The memories and echoes of what his father had said to him were taking complete control of him and rendering him useless.

"You should eat," Tobias mumbled as his fingertips stopped where the IV was at the top of Martin's hand. He didn't want to irritate the skin or the area around it. "You haven't eaten in awhile."

Martin shrugged in response. At this point, he didn't care about taking care of himself. He felt hated. Why would he want to save himself when his own family hated him?

He'd receive many disapproving stares when his superior and a few other men came to him once he was home. Most likely, some of them wouldn't even look at him. Sleeping with someone to get information about something was one thing, but falling for that person was another– Especially when that person was the grandson of one of their greatest enemies.

Over the phone, his brother yelled at him. He called him sick and disgusting for falling for Tobias. Martin didn't say anything to him; he let him rant and scream as much as he wanted. By that time, Martin was so upset that he couldn't bring himself to cry.

"Martin," Tobias whispered to him. Martin brought his gaze over to Tobias. "We can go to my house soon."

After a moment, Martin nodded. From then on, he kept his eyes on Tobias, even when Tobias looked away.

Nurses came in and told him what he needed to do to treat his wounds. Martin listened, but figured that he wouldn't do any of that. Tobias would, though. They took out the IV and handed him the papers that he needed then sent him on his way.

As they walked out of the infirmary, Tobias grabbed his hand. Martin kept a tight grip on the other's hand, not wanting anything to spontaneously happen to him. Having Tobias taken away from him would set him off completely. He wouldn't be able to control him at that point. He would do whatever necessary to get to him, even if that meant harming or killing someone in his family.

At Tobias's house, Tobias kept Martin in his bedroom. He knew that his grandfather wouldn't be back until later that night, but both of them still stayed alert in case that changed. They didn't want to be caught and face the consequences from it.

"How are you feeling?" Tobias asked Martin as they sat on the bed together.

Martin shrugged. "I don't know."

Tobias was surprised that he responded verbally. His eyebrows shot up and he moved closer to him, resting his hand on Martin's thigh and rubbing it gently. "Nice to hear your voice again."

Martin simply nodded. He leaned into Tobias, his head resting on his shoulder. He had to be careful with his movements. He didn't want to cause himself any more pain.

"Wanna eat something?" Tobias asked again.

"No. I'm okay."

"Darling, you haven't eaten in awhile."

"I said I'm okay."

"I just..." Tobias sighed and gave up. He knew that there wasn't a point in arguing with him. Martin was only going to do something if he wanted to do it. He couldn't force him to do anything. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

He scoffed. "It kinda is."

"It's not," Martin said in a serious tone, "Stop blaming yourself. You didn't make them so hateful and you didn't force me to do anything or feel anything. None of it is your fault."

"It's not your fault either."

It was Martin's turn to scoff. "It is."

"Why do you think that?"

"I'm falling for you. That was the one thing I wasn't supposed to do," he explained, "I thought you were magnificent and I knew I had to protect you. I'd throw myself in front of you in a heartbeat. I'd take a bullet for you. There's no doubt about it. If I could just leave and take you with me, I would... But there's unfinished business. We aren't done. They aren't done with us yet."

"What'll happen?" Tobias asked quietly. Like many times before, fear and anxiety began to rise in him. He knew that Martin would protect him, but he wasn't sure if he could protect Martin in return. Martin was trained for these sorts of things and he wasn't. If Tobias were to go against the members of Martin's clergy, he would surely lose. He wasn't aware of what he was capable of doing. 

Martin took a moment to respond. "They'll kill Papa Nihil."

Tobias's heart stopped. He still didn't know what his grandfather did. Martin didn't give away many details. He knew that he couldn't, but it was killing him. It was always a thought that was present in his mind– What did he do that was so bad?

"Why?"

"You know I can't tell you."

"Martin, I have to know."

"You'll find out soon."

"When is that?"

"I don't know–"

"Martin, just fucking tell me," Tobias said as he moved Martin off of him, his hands taking a tight hold on his shoulders. Martin looked at him with a sympathetic stare, but he didn't budge or say anything. Tobias's eyes flickered over the features on his face as if he was trying to find out the answer through them for himself. "It's killing me, tell me, please."

"You'll kill him for it," Martin said in a hushed tone, "I know you will."

"Did he rape somebody?"

"I can't–"

"Multiple people? Did he kill people? Execute them? Torture them? Just– Just tell me what he did!"

"I can't!"

"You can, you just won't!"

"I won't because if I do, I'll be killed!" Martin shouted, "Do you want me to die?! If I die then you die, Tobias! I'm not telling you for your sake and mine! I understand that you're pissed and fed up with all of this, but I can't tell you!"

Tobias didn't know what to say because of how clouded his mind was. He was thinking of everything his grandfather had done. He could remember times when Papa Nihil had acted shady or violent towards him and his father and uncles, but nothing was too concerning. There were too many dead ends, too many things that lead to nowhere or didn't give him any hints as to what Nihil did.

"What do I need to do to make this end?" Tobias asked, his voice calmer than before.

Martin inhaled sharply and blinked a few times. He couldn't trust his family anymore. He wasn't sure if they would still keep Tobias safe after what happened. They knew they had feelings for each other and Martin figured that that wouldn't settle well between them. Maybe they would hurt Tobias or maybe they wouldn't. Either way, Martin didn't want to risk it.

"You have to tell me you don't trust your grandfather and I have to record you saying it for proof," Martin said, "I'll go home tonight and show it to my father and my superior and they'll take action after that. Until they do, I can't see you again. It may take a few hours or even a few weeks until they do anything, so you have to make sure you're completely ready for this."

Tobias felt a sense of guilt run through him the more he thought about it. Martin warned him that if he did this that his grandfather would die.

In all honesty, Tobias trusted Martin more than he trusted his grandfather. If Martin's clergy was after him, he had to have done something. He knew that they didn't target people for nothing.

Saying that he didn't trust his grandfather would lead to Papa Nihil being killed. Other than that, he didn't know what they would do to him for developing feelings for Martin. He didn't know if he'd be punished or exiled just like his grandfather.

Either way, he knew what he had to do and he was going to do it.

When Tobias gave Martin the go-ahead, Martin took out the recorder he had with him. He turned it on and they started with a normal conversation to make it seem like Tobias was confessing how he felt without Martin prompting or forcing him to.

They talked about things Tobias had done with his father when he was child, which lead to how absent Papa Nihil was in the midst of everything. From then on, Martin kept feeding him questions that would lead the conversation in the right direction. At one point, Martin reached for his hand and Tobias took it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"How do you feel about Papa Nihil now?" Martin asked.

Tobias stared at him for a moment without saying anything. Martin gave a soft smile of encouragement and squeezed his hand again.

"I don't like him and I don't think I trust him. He's very cold. We barely talk. It's like he doesn't care about my feelings or... Anything. I don't know. I just... I don't get a good feeling from him," Tobias said softly.

Martin nodded and reached towards the recorder to shut it off. Once everything was finished, he set it to the side and turned to face Tobias again. "Alright... I'll show that to them tonight."

"Thank you," Tobias whispered, "for... everything."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Shut up."

Tobias leaned in and kissed him, grabbing his shoulder with one hand while the other hand rested on the side of Martin's neck. Martin kissed him back and gripped the front of his shirt, tugging at it and pulling Tobias closer. Both of them were unsure of what would happen after that night. They didn't know if they'd ever see or speak to each other ever again. Too many things were up in the air at the moment.

Tobias ended up on his back with Martin on top of him, their lips moving in sync while their tongues danced around each other's. There was heat and passion in the kiss, mixed with need and want. They both were desperate to feel each other again, but were hurt when they thought about how awful they felt.

Martin didn't want to leave Tobias. Tobias didn't want Martin to leave. Neither of them could stop what was going to happen, but they wished that they could.

To get his mind off of things, Martin pulled his lips from Tobias's and removed their clothes. Tobias was quick to agree with the decision. He unbuttoned Martin's pants then unzipped them, pushing them down until Martin had to take things into his own hands and remove them himself. Once that was finished, Martin ran his hand down the front of Tobias's chest and stomach until the tips of his fingers reached his boxers.

"You're so beautiful," Martin told him lowly, inching the material down as Tobias bit his bottom lip.

Tobias's eyes worked their way up to Martin's, taking in every scar of his while doing so. "I love your body."

"I love yours," Martin whispered, "I've never seen someone as perfect as you."

"Says you."

Martin removed Tobias's boxers and threw them to the side like they had done with the rest of their clothes. Martin stripped down completely as well then leaned down to start pressing kisses over Tobias's neck. The younger man threaded his fingers through the other's hair and tugged at it, moaning under his breath as he sighed.

"I'll always think about you," Tobias told him, "I promise."

Martin nodded and rested his hand on Tobias's hip to keep himself up, mumbling in between his kisses. "And I'll think about you. Always."

"You won't forget me?"

"How could I?"

Tobias smiled softly and shut his eyes, his features remaining peaceful until Martin bit the side of his neck and started sucking. He groaned and gave a sharp tug to Martin's hair, his legs twitching below him.

"You're leaving marks?" Tobias mumbled, gasping shortly after when Martin moved his lips to suck on another spot.

"No," he mumbled, "these ones won't stay."

Tobias nodded and let Martin carry on with what he was doing. Martin knew how much they worked him up– That was his goal. He wanted one more night with Tobias and he wanted to make it count.

Martin's lips went down his neck, chest, and stomach until he reached Tobias's hips. Tobias opened his eyes and looked down at him, breathless with red cheeks as Martin held his wrists together loosely with one hand, his opposite hand doing other things.

"I don't want to hurt you," Martin said.

"You won't, just please," Tobias whined softly, "Please."

He knew all too well that he couldn't resist his begging. Especially right now. His hands pulled away from his body and he rested them above Tobias's shoulders as he leaned down to kiss him again. The kiss was heated and needy; the two things that Tobias was. He brought his hands up and tugged Martin's hair, moaning softly against his lips.

Just like before, Martin did what he could to make Tobias feel as good as possible. He wanted to wring reactions out of him that he would remember years from then. It wouldn't be hard to recall someone like Tobias, but Martin didn't want the memories to fade or alter. If he could be in a position like this with him everyday, he would. Sadly, that wasn't in the cards for them.

There was passion in everything they did at that moment. Every noise and every kiss was interrupted by the other saying something. Neither of them minded. They were trying to get as much of each other as they could before their time ran out. They didn't want to waste this last night.

At one point, everything else in the world seemed to fade away. It felt like they were the only ones and that nothing was wrong. They were so close that they could feel their breath against their skin and their eyelashes fluttering every time they opened or shut their eyes. Neither of them had ever felt this way with someone else and they didn't want to. They didn't think this feeling could be experienced with anyone different. They didn't want to find out either.

Tobias tugged Martin's head down so he could whisper in his ear, soft pants and moans splitting through his voice occasionally as he spoke, "I don't want to lose you. Don't let me lose you."

Martin groaned and grabbed Tobias's hands, slipping their fingers together and pressing them down against the bed. Tobias's head fell back as he gave a quiet whimper, Martin's lips hovering over his.

"You won't lose me," he whispered back, "I promise."

"I promise, too," Tobias mustered out. His entire body was hot and sweat had broken out across his forehead and neck. He was short of breath and his hips were stuttering the quicker that Martin moved. Everything felt too good and he didn't want it to end. "Don't stop... Please."

"I won't," Martin told him.

He pressed their foreheads together and shut his eyes, tightening his grip on Tobias's hands. There was no place he'd rather be. Every time he thought about leaving Stockholm, he thought about Tobias leaving with him. He didn't want to be alone ever again. He didn't want Tobias to be stuck in the situation he was in any longer because he didn't deserve it. Tobias knew that, too.

Tobias couldn't think about anything besides Martin at that moment. He was too engulfed in how good he felt and how long he wanted it to last. Martin was making sure to drag it out for the sake of what was at hand. It was driving Tobias crazy, but crazy in a way that he knew he'd enjoy in the end. None of his movements stayed the same for more than a minute at a time. Whenever Tobias felt himself getting pushed toward the edge, Martin would slow down to stop them from reaching the end of what they had. Tobias was thankful for that.

His legs wrapped around Martin's waist and stayed there for the rest of the time, forcing him down closer to him so he could feel him all over. Having their skin touching in as many places as it could made them feel safe. They trusted each other. They didn't want to feel anyone else.

"Martin..." Tobias whined out loudly, his chest heaving with every breath he took. He was shaking below Martin and he was fighting how he felt off, squeezing Martin's hands in the process. "Please..."

"Just wait," Martin told him softly. Truth be told, he was at the same point Tobias was, but he didn't want to let go. He wanted this to go on until Nihil turned himself in for everything he did. He knew that that wouldn't happen, though.

Tobias did as he was told and waited, although it wasn't easy. Since Tobias was nearly done, Martin couldn't bring himself to slow down like before. His pace was becoming harder and faster which wasn't helping either of them.

"Martin," he whined out again, his hips stuttering upwards and his head tipping back. He couldn't wait any longer.

Martin didn't say anything because he couldn't. With any further hesitation, he let bliss take over his entire body. Not even a second later, Tobias had done the same thing. The grip they had on each other's hands became tighter than ever before and how close they got was something that most people only dream about.

Tobias wrapped his arms around Martin's neck and tugged him into a hug as he rode out how he felt, moaning into his ear. Martin released a groan and freed the tension from his body, relaxing on top of Tobias. 

A few moments in silence passed them by. They were taking in the quiet and still feeling of the room. Tobias's arms were still wrapped around Martin's body and Martin was still on top of him. Neither of them wanted to move. Things seemed too perfect.

Martin brought his head up to look down at Tobias when he moved his head back to rest it on the pillow. Their eyes met and they stared at each other as if they were trying to memorize what they looked like.

"Martin?" Tobias whispered, his lips parting after he spoke.

"Yes, Tobias?"

Tobias didn't say anything for a minute. Instead, he kept looking at Martin, pushing back the sadness that reality brought for as long as he could. Martin didn't speak up. He let Tobias take his time.

"I love you," Tobias said, his heart stopping as the words came out of him.

Martin's heart nearly jumped out of his chest. He didn't expect this, but he wasn't going to deny how he felt. Not at a moment like this.

"I love you," he said back, "I love you so much."

Tears gathered in Tobias's eyes and he smiled, his breathing heavy and quick. He didn't think that Martin would say it back. He didn't even know if Martin loved him.

"I love you," Tobias said again, "I love you, oh my god."

"I love you, too. So much."

Their lips connected again and Tobias's hands came down to cup Martin's cheeks in them. He wanted to cry of happiness and sadness now. At least he knew that Martin loved him. That would help him later on.

Reaching over to the side after the kiss broke, Martin turned the recorder on again. He wanted to replay this moment when he couldn't experience it again.

"I love you so much," Tobias said through a shaky voice, tears spilling from his eyes, "I never knew I'd love somebody, but I'm so glad I love you."

"I won't love anyone else, ever," Martin told him as tears burned his eyes. Watching Tobias cry was what caused him to break. "You're the love of my life, Tobias, you know? You are the love of my life."

Tobias sniffled softly and smiled up at him, wiping away Martin's tears with his thumbs. "I know I am, I know. You're so perfect to me and I'll always love you, okay? I always will, don't forget that."

"I won't forget it. Never." Martin kissed him again, keeping it short yet deep. He pulled away afterwards and let more tears fall, his lips brushing against Tobias's.

"Please don't go. Please don't," Tobias cried harder and buried his face in Martin's neck, his arms moving to wrap around his back. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to never see him again. He'd kill everyone in his clergy just to be with him for the rest of his life.

"I don't want to," Martin said, "I don't want to."

"Stay with me, I'll keep you safe," Tobias spoke through the lump in his throat, "We-we can kill Papa Nihil, we can do whatever we have to do. I don't want you to leave."

"We can't do that," he whispered, "it doesn't work like that."

"I want it to."

"I know... I know, me too."

Tobias pulled away to look up at Martin again. Martin couldn't believe how green his eyes looked now that they were red from crying. Tobias could say the same about Martin's eyes. The blue was bright enough to blind someone and stun them. He wanted to look into them every time he woke up and every time before he fell asleep. He didn't want to live in a world without them.

"I love you," Tobias said again, "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will happen to me. Okay? Okay, I promise, nothing will happen to me," Martin assured him, and a part of himself, "I'll keep you safe, too. I'll make sure they won't hurt you."

Tobias nodded shakily and kissed him again. Martin kissed him back, holding onto him for dear life for as long as he could. He didn't want to leave, but he knew that he had to. In order for things to be finished, he had to go.

"I have to leave," Martin said when the kiss broke, "Tobias, I have to go."

"Please don't, please don't go," Tobias begged, the tears coming down once again harder and faster than before, "I'll never see you again, please. Please, Martin, don't go."

"Love, I have to," Martin barely got out. Seeing Tobias sob made him sob. He gave his body one last squeeze before he forced him off of him. After he stood up and shut off the recorder once again, Tobias stood up with him and yanked him to him by his arm. Martin faced him and sniffled, shaking his head. "Please don't make me knock you out, Tobias... Please."

"You can't leave," Tobias sobbed out, "Martin, you can't, I don't want anymore people leaving my life."

"I'll see you again, I swear. I promise, okay?" Resting his forehead against Tobias's, he looked into his eyes and placed his hands on the sides of his neck. Tobias was hesitant, but he nodded. Martin nodded after he did. "Okay... Okay, calm down. Calm down, Tobias. It'll be okay. I'll see you again."

"Please come back," Tobias begged, "I need you."

"I need you, too. I do."

"I love you."

"And I love you."

Martin kissed Tobias as if he was dying and this was the last thing he could do before parting. For all he knew, this very well could've been the last night of his life. Things in his clergy were unstable and everybody had turned against him for what he had done. He knew he had to make sure Tobias was safe and he would do whatever it took to ensure that.

They broke away and got dressed in silence. Tears ran down their faces and splattered on the floor and quiet sniffles filled the silence along with the sounds their clothes made. Martin was dreading having to leave. Out of everything in the world, he had to be stuck in a community that was awful. He was angry and furious that it meant that he couldn't have a life.

He shoved the recorder into his pocket then turned to face Tobias again. Tobias had a few more tears running down his face, but after that they stopped for the time being.

"I love you. I'll see you soon," Martin told him.

Tobias nodded and forced back the tightening feeling in his throat. "I love you. Be safe."

With one last kiss and a smile afterwards, Martin was gone. He ran down the stairs and out the front door, eager to get home so he could end everything once and for all.

Tobias looked out his window and watched Martin walk briskly down the sidewalk. A couple more hot tears escaped his eyes and rage took over him.

None of this was fair. Not a single thing. This wasn't a life that somebody should live. Things shouldn't be this way. It was bullshit that Martin had to deal with all of this.

Without taking another moment to think, Tobias stormed out of his room, wiping his tears from his face. He was done. He had had enough. His grandfather would be home at any given moment and he was ready to get the truth out of him.

He walked into Nihil's room and grabbed one of the guns that he had in his drawer. He loaded it with a magazine then aimed towards the wall, marking a mental target on a glimpse of light that was shining in through the window. With a sharp breath in, he fired the gun and saw the result moments later.

He had hit his target dead on.

Turning around, he walked out of Nihil's room as soon as the door opened. Nihil dropped his things to the table by the door and when he looked up, his heart stopped.

Tobias had the gun pointed toward his heart.

"Special..." he said cautiously, "Special, it's just me. Put that down."

"No, Papa," Tobias bit out, "Not until you tell me what you did."

"What?" Nihil asked, though the question made him break out into a sweat. He swallowed thickly and looked at the gun then looked at the nearly evil gaze in his grandson's eyes. He held his hands up, speaking as clearly as he could, "Special... Lower the gun and talk to me. Okay?"

Tobias didn't at first. He wanted to shoot his grandfather dead. He didn't want the occult coming for the both of them and they wouldn't if he annihilated their target for them. Maybe then things would be fine between him and Martin. Maybe they could escape town and forget this ever happened.

"Special, put the gun down," Nihil said again, his tone louder than it was the previous time, "Put it down and come here."

"Fuck you."

"Have you been crying?" Nihil asked, "Your eyes are red... Or have you finally summoned the power you've had in you for so long?"

Tobias tensed up. He knew that it would be obvious that he had been crying, but he hoped that Papa wouldn't pay attention to it. He also didn't want to think about the times where as a child, his eyes would turn bright red and how his father would praise him for it, because at the moment he wasn't stable enough for the memory to come flooding back to him. 

"Yeah, so what?" Tobias snapped, "It doesn't matter."

"Are you upset about your father?"

"I-"

"He was a great man. It is okay to cry, Special. I know how much you loved him. He left so suddenly, but... he loved you with all of his heart. You were the light of his life, Special. I've told you that before. He told you that, too. I know you miss him... I know you do."

"Papa Nihil, stop..."

"You meant the world to him. Every time we spoke on the phone, he would tell me about you and how well you were doing in life. He was so proud of you. You made him the happiest I've ever seen him."

For what felt like the millionth time that night, tears formed in Tobias's eyes. His hands were shaking and his finger moved away from the trigger as his grandfather spoke. He couldn't focus on killing him when he was too busy thinking about his father and how much he missed him.

"I'm sorry he left. I know how bad it hurt. I know you hate living here. If I could change everything, I would. You don't deserve this." Nihil paused and gave Tobias a guilty look, sighing softly, "I'm so sorry about everything, Special. I'm so sorry things turned out this way."

Tobias was crying again. Memories of his father infiltrated his mind and he was too hung up on them to do anything. He missed him too much. He wanted him back. He had left so soon and so suddenly that he didn't even get to say goodbye. There was no closure as to why he vanished.

Every time he thought about him, it felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest. Pain and energy coursed through him and begged to be unleashed, but Tobias always held back. He was afraid of what he was and who he was, therefore he never questioned the wrath he so often felt towards various things.

He didn't understand why people had to leave. If there was one person that he wanted to return, it was his father. He wanted to know what he was. He wanted one last day with him. One last conversation. One last 'I love you' and one last hug. He wanted him back, but he couldn't get that.

Nihil walked over to Tobias and grabbed the gun from him while he broke down. Tobias was too weak to do anything. On top of Martin leaving and the thought of his father's departure, he was a dysfunctional mess. He couldn't react to anything with those things on his mind.

"Calm yourself, Special... Do not worry," Nihil said to him soothingly. Glancing at who had emerged from the stairs to the basement, he nodded subtly towards the shaking special ghoul in front of him. He spoke as the ghoul crept across the floor, distracting Tobias from his surroundings, "I'm sure he misses you. I know he does."

Tobias didn't say anything. His throat was too tight and there was too much going on in his being. He wanted to choke on his own breath and die, but he couldn't. He also wanted to unravel whatever monster was inside of him, but he was afraid of it. He could handle this somehow without it making its first official appearance. 

"Just calm down, Special," Nihil said as the ghoul closed in upon Tobias, holding a needle close to his neck. Before another word could he spoken by the Second's son, said needle was jammed into a vein in his neck. Tobias fell to the floor and groaned, his eyes rolling back before they shut and he blacked out with Papa Nihil's words haunting his conscience. 

"Everything will be alright, Special... Trust me."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

## Chapter Fifteen

Martin did what he told Tobias he would do. He showed his family the recording and they decided that it was enough to take action. However, they weren't going to take action that night– They were going to wait until the next night.

While they planned things, Martin tuned in and out of their conversation. He didn't want to be involved in this, but it was too late. He knew information about Tobias that they didn't. Even though they weren't happy with him for having feelings for Tobias, they couldn't throw him out just yet. Martin had a connection with him that no one else had and that was critical to things.

Martin avoided eye contact at all costs. He could feel their disapproving stares. He didn't want to actually see them, though. He knew that they would hurt much worse.

The planning felt like it took years. With the amount of tongues that was being spoken in the room, Martin began thinking in it. That was something he almost never did unless he heard the language for far too long. Granted, it was his first language, but he spoke English more often than not. Some of the men in the family didn't speak any English, however, so tongues was their go-to almost always when they were involved with something.

All he could think about was Tobias. He wanted to be with him. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and protect him physically. His body and heart was aching for his touch again. It felt like an awful withdrawal. He wanted more, but couldn't get it. He was addicted to Tobias and all that he was, but Tobias was something that he couldn't have. Not at the time.

At first when he thought about Tobias, he thought he was being overdramatic. He told himself that he was only thinking about him so much because he never had friends growing up and his mind was fascinated by someone new coming into his life. He tried to convince himself that he only wanted to hear his voice again because it was nice to listen to someone speak to him in a way that meant no harm.

None of that worked. He knew that he was crushing on Tobias and he couldn't stop it. Although his experience with crushes had been limited, he knew that he couldn't control the one that he had on Tobias.

For a long time, he didn't think that Tobias would ever like him. He didn't think that was possible because of what his life was like. Tobias was raised with a loving father and lived a somewhat typical life. He wouldn't want someone like Martin, so Martin thought, because he was odd and in a dangerous situation. Obviously, Martin thought wrong. He was glad he did that time.

His mind wandered off further and he began thinking about what would happen if they were able to be with each other after this. He knew that he would be kicked out of the clergy. After what he did, they hated him and would have no reason to keep him around. He wasn't complaining about that, but he was scared of what he would do because he didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to the real world because he was kept so close to his family when he was young and was never allowed to experience anything outside of it. Tobias had given him a small taste of the real world along with a normal life and he loved it, but he loved it because it was with Tobias. If he couldn't be with Tobias then he didn't know what his life would amount to. Tobias always seemed to know what to do. Martin didn't.

A part of him wanted to leave Stockholm, but then again that was the only city he really knew. His memories of Linköping were vague and insignificant to him. However, if would be a nightmare to try and leave Stockholm. Maybe if he found a city like it, the adjustment wouldn't be too rough. Maybe he'd like it. He didn't want to overthink about that, though. There were too many other things going on at the moment that he had to– and was supposed to– be focused on.

"Omega," someone said across the table. Martin brought his head up and he looked over at him, not getting a word in before he could speak up again. "How is Special mentally?"

"Eh... destroyed," he said outright, "Did you expect any different?"

"Don't get cocky," his father said through a grumble, "and watch your tone."

Martin pursed his lips and went silent. He wasn't looking for a fight. Not with his father. After what had happened in the van, he could hardly look at him without shuddering and feeling like he would hit him again.

His clergy didn't know that he was in the infirmary at the church for the injuries that he acquired from his father. He didn't tell them or give them any hints about it. He knew that if he brought it up that he would be lectured on how they could've gotten caught because of him exposing himself by showing his name and information. Martin didn't have enough fight in him to do that.

"We're taking them into our custody tonight," Joe spoke up again, "Martin, all you're going to do is sit and talk to Tobias over a radio. You are not to see each other."

Martin wanted to argue with him, but he backed down. He nodded slowly, mumbling a soft "yes, sir" under his breath.

After the planning had ceased, Martin went upstairs and got ready. He dressed in his mask and cassock, attempting to come off as organized and put together. This was his last run with the clergy and he wanted to show some effort before he was kicked to the streets.

–

Tobias was tied up in the basement of his grandfather's house with the door locked. He didn't know why he was down there, but he suspected that Papa Nihil knew that he was onto him. No matter how much he struggled and tried to get himself free, the ropes around his legs and arms wouldn't budge. He was trapped and even though he was trying to remain calm, he couldn't.

He didn't know what Nihil was capable of because Martin hadn't told him what he did. There were thousands of possibilities running through his mind and none of them were good. Tobias was terrified. He wanted to get out of the basement and he wanted to be free and to run far away from the house. Those thoughts didn't help him, however. They only made him more anxious and impatient.

It felt like it had been days since he last saw Nihil, but the clock on the wall told him that it hadn't been. He hadn't drank or eaten anything since the previous night and that wasn't helping the headache that he had. Even having his eyes open hurt. He had had migraines before, but this was much worse. There was a knot on the back of his head and dried blood that ran down from where his head was split open. Nothing about him physically felt right, but he couldn't help himself.

Despite the fact that he was terrified of Martin's family coming to the house, he wished that they would show up so they could take the ropes off of him. He doubted that they would take care of him, but at least he wouldn't be tied up. The fact that he couldn't see Martin again was eating him alive and not being able to walk around and distract himself was killing him. There were too many thoughts rushing around his head and none of them had a good turnout. Then again, he was used to things like that since it seemed like everything in his life had an awful outcome.

The floor creaked above his head and he froze. He wondered if someone was in the house or if it was just nothing like it sometimes was. After the floor creaked a second time, but in a second place, he knew that it had to be somebody, but doubted that it was his grandfather. If it were Papa Nihil, he wouldn't bother walking quietly and slowly. He never did anyways.

His heart began racing, but he attempted to keep his breathing steady. He didn't want to send himself into another anxiety attack. So far, he had already had three of them. Another one was something that he couldn't take.

The door opened and Tobias inhaled sharply. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and his hands become clammy from how nervous he was becoming. He didn't want it to be Nihil, but at this point it could've been anybody. He didn't want to be hurt any more, so if that's what someone wanted to do to him, he would fight back as best as he could.

Three masked men came down the stairs with guns in their hands and Tobias's eyes went wide. He planted his heels into the floor and pushed himself back to the wall, only to earn the attention of the men who then pointed their guns at him.

"Don't move!" One shouted. Tobias didn't move because he wasn't looking to be shot. By now, keeping his breathing steady wasn't something he couldn't do. "Who tied you up?"

"Papa... Papa Nihil did," Tobias stammered out, swallowing heavily once the words came out of him, "He left this morning and hasn't been back since."

"When does he usually return?" The same man spoke up.

"I-I... Anywhere between nine and eleven in the evening."

"So he'll be home any minute now, yeah?"

"Yes," Tobias said shakily with a nod, "Can you untie me?"

The man spoke in tongues to the other two men with him then motioned them over to Tobias. Tobias tensed up when they walked over, but stayed still when they began untying him. He didn't think that they would actually do it, but he was beyond grateful that he did.

"We are taking you into our custody," the man explained, "We will not hurt you, but Nihil's safety is a different story."

"What will you do to him?" Tobias asked, rubbing his wrists gently once they were free. The men walked away when the ropes were all off and Tobias thanked them quietly, turning his attention back to who he believed was Martin's superior, or perhaps father, afterwards. "I never learned what he did or anything... I wasn't allowed to know any information about what he did."

"Mm... at least we know my son isn't too much of a traitor," he said, "May be a disgrace, but he keeps secrets."

"I'm sorry," Tobias whispered softly. He looked away from Joe and pulled his knees to his chest, resting his elbows on them. "I... I didn't mean to make him get feelings for me."

"Silence or I will change my mind about your well-being, Special Ghoul. Lads, grab him and go." He took a look at his gun then at the top of the stairs. "I have work to do."

Tobias didn't fight it when the two other men grabbed him forcefully and lead him up the stairs. He didn't know what was going to happen to Papa Nihil, but at this point he didn't care. He just wanted all of this to be over. If that meant he would be losing his grandfather then so be it. He didn't want anything to do with him if he was somehow involved with the occult.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

## Chapter Sixteen

Tobias was sitting on a metal chair in a room that felt much like his grandfather's basement. The surroundings didn't look familiar at all and they were eerie. He could hear himself breathe and the tension was so strong that he thought he was bound to pass out at any moment. He couldn't take this for much longer. He couldn't wait and sit still for so long.

"Hello?" He called out again, looking around the room. There was a camera in the right top corner of the room and he looked straight at it, hoping that someone would see that no one had seen him yet. He waved his arms and yelled louder, "Hello? Can anyone hear me? I've been in here forever, hello?"

No one responded. He sighed and sat back, rolling his eyes before they fell shut. He was done with waiting. He didn't know what was happening to his grandfather and he had no idea where Martin was. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about Martin. He wanted to see him again. It felt like a withdrawal now that they weren't able to be around each other.

There was a table sitting in front of him and on it sat a walkie-talkie. He was given strict instructions to not touch it until someone came through. He didn't.

The room was cold and chills were spiking the skin on his arms. No matter how hard he hugged himself, he couldn't get warm. He even waved his arms around to try and help, but that didn't do anything either. It seemed like the room kept getting colder as time went on. He hoped that they weren't trying to freeze him alive.

Suddenly, the walkie crackled and a voice came through after a few sentences in tongues were spoken. He didn't understand what they were saying, but he immediately recognized the voice.

"Tobias? Tobias, are you there? Pick up, please. Over."

Tobias grabbed the walkie and pressed down the button they told him to use when he wanted to speak. His heart was racing and a large smile washed over his face.

"Martin... Martin, oh my god. Oh my god, you're here. I missed you, I-"

"I'm not supposed to talk to you right now, so hide in the corner of the room underneath the camera. Hurry, go. Over."

Tobias didn't want to be caught. He scrambled out of the chair and crouched down in the corner beneath the camera. Apparently he was out of its view when he was beneath it.

"Where are you? Why am I stuck in here?"

"They're going to come and hurt you," Martin told him, "I have to come and find you."

"I don't know where I am," Tobias said frantically. The smile was wiped from his face. A look of worry washed over his features and chills of fear ran up his back. "What will they do to me?"

"They have plans to kill you, Tobias, I have to find you," Martin said quickly, "I have to, okay? Okay, tell me where you are."

"I-I... I don't know, I don't, I was lead down random halls that all looked the same and people were watching me. There were cameras everywhere." Tobias glanced around the room and curled himself in a tight ball. "No one has come in yet. I'm scared."

"I know, I'm trying to help," Martin whispered as he began walking down a hallway. He needed to find Tobias. His heart was pounding wildly and not in a good way. He didn't want anything to happen to Tobias. Not now. Tobias didn't do anything wrong.

"I miss you," Tobias said softly, "I miss you so much."

"I miss you more," Martin said, "I'll be there soon. I promise. I swear, I'll find you and we'll get out of here."

"What if we get caught?"

Martin hesitated before he replied. He didn't know what would happen, but he figured that he would have to injure or kill someone to make sure that Tobias got out alive. That wouldn't be a problem for him, but he knew that he would feel guilty afterwards.

"Martin?" Tobias spoke up, "Are you there?"

"I'm here," he said quietly, "I'll handle it."

"Okay... Come soon, please."

"I'm hurrying. Sit tight. Get back in the chair and act like you were just walking around to stretch out your legs and you didn't want to miss a call from the walkie so you took it with you," Martin instructed.

"I will. Be safe."

"You, too."

After that, Martin abandoned the walkie in the middle of the hallway and jumped on it. If he was able to draw attention to himself, they wouldn't be concerned about Tobias. He took his gun from the holster and aimed it at the door, shooting it multiple times before he heard footsteps come down the hallway. He didn't wait before he sprinted the other way.

He had to do this. He had to help Tobias and he had to help himself get out of this.

–

"Are you aware of the crimes that Papa Nihil has committed against not only our clergy, but the church as a whole?" Joe, Martin's father, questioned Tobias as he paced around the room, his eyes black as scales began to form on the sides of his neck. He didn't bring up what Tobias did earlier since he apparently didn't see it on the tapes. Tobias was alright with that. He didn't want to be asked about it anyway.

Tobias shook his head and kept his back straight as he spoke him. "No, sir, I don't. He's never told me anything."

"Mm... nothing, hm?" Joe scoffed. He groaned and tipped his head back as the scales flaked off his skin and scratched against one another, gazing at the ceiling as Tobias's gaze rested on him. Tobias bit his lower lip and went silent. He had never seen Martin's skin do that, but was now well aware that it could since his father's could. 

He knew that he was about to find out the truth about his grandfather and he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it. He didn't know how bad it would be, but he figured that it wasn't anything light.

"Yes, sir," Tobias replied softly, "He was gone a lot when I was young, so I spent a lot of time with my father until he... left."

"And why did he leave?"

"I... have no idea. Papa Nihil says he just vanished."

"And do you think that that is the truth about your father?"

Tobias shrugged and felt his throat tighten up. He looked down at the floor, rubbing over his wrist with his fingers as he stammered for an answer. "I... He wasn't unhappy. He was always willing to be around me. He was the happiest person I've ever met, even though he didn't act like that around others. When he left randomly, I didn't think it was right. I never thought he would've done something like that."

"When did he leave?" Joe asked as he took a seat across the table from Tobias. He had a gun in his holster and Tobias recognized it earlier, but now Joe was fooling around with it and touching it more often than not. Despite how much he tried to calm himself, he couldn't. Joe wasn't like Martin even though he was his father. He wasn't going to protect him and refuse to harm him like Martin had done the first night they met.

"Almost a year ago," Tobias whispered, "My uncles left, too, around the same time."

Joe went silent, as did Tobias. They didn't make eye contact. They let the silence sit over them for a moment. Emotion was present in the room, but it wasn't coming from Joe. It was all from Tobias.

Now on top of fearing for his life, he was thinking about his father. He missed him now more than ever. He wanted him to help him out of this situation and he wanted to be in Linköping with him. Stockholm was bad news and he never wanted to be there again.

"Did they ever talk of leaving?" Joe asked after a moment.

Tobias thought then shook his head. "I don't know. I would've remembered something like that if they did."

Joe nodded silently. He slid the envelope that he brought with him over to him and opened it. Tobias was forcing himself to watch everything although he wanted to do nothing more than shove his head into his arms and shield himself from it. The anticipation was killing him and tears were threatening to well up in his eyes. He wasn't about to cry in front of someone who was scheduled to be killing him, though.

Joe placed photos and papers in front of Tobias then motioned for him to take a look at them. At first, Tobias was reluctant. He didn't want to see what these things were. He didn't want his perspective on anything to change more than it already had.

The photos left him speechless and motionless. Within seconds, he understood what was going on. He understood part of what happened in the past. 

His father didn't vanish. Neither did his uncles. Someone had murdered them in cold blood and preserved their bodies. 

"I..." Tobias choked out.

"Papa Nihil killed your father and your uncles," Joe told him, "He wanted a new successor."

"But why? Why did he kill my father and his brothers? They're his sons, it– it doesn't make sense," Tobias questioned desperately, his breathing quickening as he looked between the evidence and Joe.

"His sons? Do you truly believe he thought of those boys as his sons?" Joe shot him a glare and flipped the photos around, showing more photos taped to the back.

What he saw shocked him.

There were photos of Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator giving a ghoul– someone who was a mask that looked like Martin's– syringes full of a black liquid. Within the photos, Tobias saw papers explaining what was going on. He saw his father's name followed by his uncles' and beside them, their deaths were written out. The photo beside that one had Papa Nihil posing with his two partners in crime with smiles on their faces. 

The ghoul was wearing latex gloves so his fingerprints wouldn't be on anything. As he scanned the photos, he saw the gloves in action as the mystery ghoul injected his father and his uncles with whatever was in the syringe. 

To make matters worse, they took photos of Papa II struggling and fighting against what was then coursing through his body. Papa Nihil stood idly by in the background with an expressionless look on his face. He didn't care that his son was dying a painful death and leaving Tobias behind. He also didn't care about what was done since the photos showed Papa Nihil being careless with the Second's lifeless body by posing with it, disrespecting it, and placing it within a glass container. 

Papa Nihil did this to his owns sons without shedding a tear. He didn't care for them. He didn't care about how Tobias would feel about it. He didn't care about anyone but himself.

"Why did he kill them?" Tobias asked as tears finally escaped his eyes. He looked up at Joe, shaking with sadness and rage. "Why did he do that to them?! Why did he kill my father and my uncles?!"

"To make you the next leader– He wanted your bloodline in charge as soon as possible," Joe told him without a falter in his voice, "Do you know how much power he got from his friends in low places for killing your father and uncles? And do you know how much power he'd get for killing you?"

"I don't care about being next in line, who is giving him power?" Tobias raised his voice.

"How do you think he used us? He harnessed my men's energy and took it for himself– He took the ghoul of mine from the photos and manipulated him into staying and he now steals his energy from him and us. He knows all about our clergy yet casts us out from the church to hide his dirty secrets," Joe said through a growl. He slammed his fist down on the table and lowered his head. "He's taken enough from my clergy... He's done enough. And he needs to be killed."

"Then let me fucking kill him!" Tobias yelled, the tears quickly stopping. "I want him dead! Kill him, he killed my uncles! He killed my father!"

Joe sighed and brought his head up, his fingers uncurling as he relaxed his hand. Tobias was still angry. Nothing would shake that off of him.

"I can't allow you kill him," Joe told him, "because I need to kill you."

Tobias's eyes went wide and fear washed over him. With the amount of betrayal and rage channeling through him, the fear wasn't making him feel any better. If anything, it only made him angrier.

That feeling he had felt before began to creep up on him, only now it was darker and stronger. His rage was manifesting into something else and this time, he couldn't hold it back. It was going to come out of him whether he liked it or not.

Without realizing, his eyes began to burn red. The green in his irises washed away entirely and was replaced with a bright crimson color, one that made Joe stop and stare momentarily in awe. Tobias's energy changed to one of pure malevolence and he didn't fight it one bit. He let it wash over him as he sat there and gripped his hands into tight fists. 

"You can't kill me," Tobias said lowly. He lowered his head and looked up at Joe through his eyelashes. A soft, almost sinister growl came out of him and he shook his head. "You can't kill me."

"Oh, but I can. I can and I will, Special," Joe said with a chuckle. He drew the gun from the holster and pointed it at Tobias. "But at least I will be nice... I won't make you suffer like your grandfather made your father and uncles suffer."

At that moment, Tobias snapped. Something in his mind broke and let loose everything that wanted to come out.

Just like on Joe's mask, horns came out through his forehead, but they didn't stop at the same length. They grew longer until they curved around his head and stopped at the nape of his neck, the thickness of them adding extra weight to him. His skin paled and cracked beneath the surface, uncovering blue and green veins that pumped blood heavily throughout his being. Tobias flinched in his seat as his bones cracked and shifted while out from between his lips, his tongue forked and slithered with such ease that Joe's eyes widened for a split second. His nails jutted out into sharp points as blood boiled at his joints, his entire being feeling as if it were snapping and seconds away from exploding into something bigger, if it were even possible.

"You will _never_ be able to kill me... I am what I am and _I_ am your biggest fear... Aren't I? If I weren't a threat, you wouldn't have to think about killing me." Tobias's voice was darker and lower than it ever had been and he'd be lying if he said it didn't shock him. He purred out his words with such malice and seduction that Joe shifted in his seat, paralyzed by Tobias's bloody gaze. "Tell me... Has everyone known what I'm capable of? Is that why Papa Nihil never allowed me to talk to people in the church? Have you all been scared of what I am?"

"You are nothing," Joe spat at him. Breaking the gaze and the spell he had been under for a moment, he leaned forward and pressed the gun to Tobias's forehead, but Tobias didn't flinch. If anything, he pressed his forehead into the gun. "Soon you will end up like your father– Dead."

"No. I won't. The only one who will end up dead is Nihil and maybe you, too. I, however, will not be dying... Not when I've just discovered who I am."

"You little–"

"I am Special– Son of Papa Emeritus the Second... and I think I might just be the entire church’s worst fear."

"You are not–!"

As soon as Tobias expected the trigger to be pulled, the glass behind Joe shattered and blood was splattered over his face and. His eyes opened again after he squeezed them shut and he looked up to see blood spilling from Joe's mouth. He gasped and backed up, standing up from the chair with his heart pounding in his chest. As quickly as he had snapped, he came back to reality and was met with what had happened.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled. Turning to the now broken window, he saw Martin standing there with his eyes black and his hands dropping to his sides. He was visibly shaking and he had tears running down his cheeks. It was understandable seeing as he had just killed his own father by using whichever powers he had within him. All he had done was raise his hands and exert whatever force was in him to get the job done. 

"Martin..." Tobias whispered. He held his hands up and stepped towards the shattered window, being as cautious as possible. "Martin... Martin, keep your hands still."

"I-I..." Martin stuttered helplessly. He gulped audibly and his mouth shut tightly afterwards to silence himself. Tobias dropped his arms afterwards and hopped over the small wall that the window was placed in, standing beside Martin after carefully kicking glass away from him. Very gently, he took his shoulders in his hands and turned Martin towards him.

Martin had a sad and shocked look in his eyes. He was shaking under Tobias's touch and his breathing was more uneven than Tobias's had ever been. Immediately, Tobias knew that he was in shock.

"Come here, Martin, sit down. Sit down, okay?" Tobias said. He lead Martin over to a far corner of the room and guided him down on his back, pulling Martin's legs into his lap. He was thankful he knew what to do with someone who was in shock because if not, he didn't know what would happen to Martin.

"I killed... I killed, I killed–"

"Focus on your breathing, okay? Don't think about that. Breathe for me. Come on, listen to what I'm doing." Tobias breathed in and out deeply until Martin began to do the same. He continued to do so for a few minutes just so they both would benefit from it.

He was still floored that Nihil killed his father. He didn't think that he would ever do something like that. Hearing that his father wasn't the only person he had killed shocked him, also.

Papa Nihil was someone he didn't know well to begin with, but now he didn't think he knew him at all. It was one thing to kill someone, but it was another to do what he had done. He wasn't going to forgive him for it and he wanted to do what Martin did to his father. Tobias wanted to kill him.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asked quietly. Martin nodded slowly and sat up, moving his legs out of Tobias's lap. Their eyes met, but they didn't smile for once. There weren't any positive things to feel at the moment. "I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay..." Martin said in the same tone of voice, "I'm okay."

"You don't have to be okay all the time," Tobias told him, "You don't have to lie."

Martin sniffled and nodded. He wrapped his arms around Tobias and hugged him close, burying his face in his neck while being mindful of his horns. His fingers tangled themselves in Tobias's hair and tugged at it, trying to enjoy the contact they had while it lasted.

Tobias wanted to cry again with Martin this close. He felt as safe as he could in the position that they were in all because of Martin. If Martin could kill his own father to protect Tobias and himself, he could get them through anything. Along with Tobias's rage and newfound form, they would nearly be unstoppable. However afterwards, they'd feel less than alright and indestructible.

"We can do this," Tobias whispered, "We can get out of this. Don't worry. It's okay."

"You need to be safe... You almost got yourself killed. How did you discover... well, _this_?" Martin asked as he nudged his head to Tobias's horn gently.

Shaking his head, Tobias sighed and held him closer. "I don't know. I just... was angry. I let loose."

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? To find out what you are?"

"I suppose so." Tobias paused for a moment before saying, "I'm going to kill Nihil."

"Did you find out what he did?"

Tobias swallowed thickly and hesitated before responding. "I... Yeah. Yeah, I did."

"Are you okay?" Martin asked as he pulled away. He looked over Tobias's face and brought his hand to rest on the side of Tobias's neck, his thumb brushing along his skin as he examined his new features. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you."

"No, I'm not okay. That's why I want to kill him," Tobias said, "I want him dead."

"I can't blame you." Leaning in, he kissed Tobias's nose. "I'm sorry."

"None of this is your fault," Tobias told him. He looked over Martin's face and shook his head. "It isn't. I promise."

Martin nodded even though he didn't believe him. He pressed his lips to Tobias's in a sweet kiss afterwards, wanting to feel their lips together in case this would the last time he could. He wasn't about to take any chances.

As always, the kiss felt amazing. Tobias sank into a pool of stars when he felt Martin's lips move with his. He didn't want to pull away. He wanted to stay hidden with Martin forever. With them out of harm's way, they would be okay. But since they were near the body of his father, they weren't exactly safe. They needed to relocate and strategize a plan.

Tobias pulled away first and stood up, leaving Martin to get up as he went and got the gun from Joe. He reloaded it just in case then kept it in his hand, motioning for Martin to get up. Within seconds, Martin was next to his father's body beside his body, more silent in that moment than he ever had been before. When Tobias turned to Martin, he saw him gazing at his father.

"Martin..." Tobias said, "Let's go."

Martin didn't say anything. All he did was nod and grab Tobias's wrist to lead them out of the room. Without another glance at his father, he shut the door behind them and lead Tobias down the hall.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

## Chapter Seventeen

It didn't take the rest of Martin's family long to find the body of his father. When they found him dead, they suspected that Tobias had killed him due to the fact that Joe's gun was gone and Tobias was the only one with him at the time. The window had been shattered and they thought that that was how Tobias escaped. While a couple men went off to try and hunt him down, a couple helped move Joe's body as the rest went to the control room to check the cameras to see exactly what happened.

What they saw shocked them. It wasn't Tobias who killed Joe. It was Martin. His own son. They didn't expect Martin to be the killer considering Martin wasn't someone who seemed to be the type to kill another person and wasn't one to use his abilities unless absolutely necessary. They also didn't expect it because Joe was his father and he seemed to get along with him at times.

They saw Martin and Tobias walk out of the room, but that was as far as everything got. They had shot out the cameras as they walked down the halls. By then, they had no idea as to where they were headed. Nearly every camera in that area was down. That meant they had to go and find them themselves with the guns that they had.

They weren't scared due to the fact that they were up against young men with limited skills. They had been in the occult for years and they knew exactly what they were doing. As they walked down the hall, they chuckled and laughed at how stupid Martin and Tobias were for running off and thinking that they could save themselves after being involved with Joe's murder. They were confident that they were going to catch Martin and Tobias, and they knew that once they did that they would kill them.

It wasn't anything new to them to see one of their men die, but this was the first time that a young member of the clergy had purposely killed his own father. That's what took them off guard. They figured that Martin snapped and his father was the first one to feel his wrath. Again, that didn't threaten or scare them, but they knew that they had to be prepared to come face to face with something like that.

Running into people who seemed to have lost their mind in that area of the occult was typical. Seeing people that they thought they knew go nearly insane was tough to witness, but it happened. Martin just happened to be the youngest person it ever occurred with. The fact that it happened so suddenly shocked them, as well. The men who usually lost their minds had been in the business for years. Martin had only just begun his journey with them.

They thought that Tobias had turned Martin against them. They didn't know that Martin didn't want to be involved with them even before they met. From their perspective, all of this was turning out to be Tobias's fault, along with Papa Nihil's fault. The Papas seemed to carry around bad luck and the most evil of all entities with them, and they were bound and out to take them down.

–

"What will we do if they catch us?" Tobias asked through a hushed tone as Martin lead him down the hall.

Martin had his hands out in front of him and he had Tobias holding the gun out behind them. Martin told him not to fire it unless he told him otherwise.

"Kill them," Martin whispered to him, "What else would we do?"

"I don't know... it was a dumb question," Tobias said under his breath.

Martin scoffed. "We can try and befriend them, if that's the answer you were looking for."

Tobias rolled his eyes playfully and shook his head. He didn't want to take any chances with these ghouls. If all of them could do what Martin could, he didn't want to meet their bad sides. With his luck, it would take forever for him to bleed out. That wasn't the way he wanted to die.

He wanted to be older and happier when he died. He didn't want to be fearing for his life and out to kill his grandfather just before he passed on. That wasn't enough for him. He knew that he had a life after this and he wanted to experience it. For once, he didn't want things to end abruptly and take him from everything he had experienced thus far.

Martin snuck into the control room while no one was in there then lead Tobias inside with him once he determined that it was safe to be in there. He didn't want to slip up and cost either one of them their lives. Much like Tobias, he didn't want to die this way. He wanted to live awhile longer and have a life that didn't involve the occult. Specifically, he wanted to have a life with Tobias. It didn't have to last a lifetime, but he did want to see what it felt like to have a life with someone he loved. On television and in movies, it seemed nice. He wanted to have something like that sometime in his life. Tobias seemed to be the one who would fit the type of person that Martin wanted to be with.

"What are we doing in here?" Tobias asked as he glanced around. He wasn't used to his surroundings, but it was obvious that Martin was. It was like he knew the building like the back of his hand. "Can you see anyone on the cameras?"

"Yeah, a few guys. Nowhere near us, though," Martin told him. His eyes scanned across the screens and he bit his lower lip softly. He didn't want to kill many people. He just wanted to get out after Tobias killed his grandfather. "We have to think of a plan."

"I know we do," Tobias said, "Is there anyone at the church who could come and help?"

"I'm not sure. I don't even know where we are exactly. I've been here before, but I never bothered to memorize where it is exactly. For all I know, it's owned by us, but has been abandoned for years," Martin explained. Stepping back from the screens, he sighed and looked over at Tobias. "If we called someone from the church and told them about the situation, they'd have to trace my call and then take my word that I killed my own father because he was in the occult and I didn't want to be associated with it anymore."

"I think they would help us if we told them what happened. Your father was practically abusive–"

"He was abusive," Martin corrected him. Looking down at the floor to stop himself from looking at Tobias, he shrugged. "It doesn't matter, though. I'll figure this out."

"Can you find the room where Papa Nihil is at?" Tobias asked quickly just to get Martin's mind off of his father, "If I take a walkie and you have one, you can warn me for whenever someone's coming."

"I don't know how I feel about letting you wander around alone..."

"I'll be fine. I promise. I know how to use... whatever's come out of me."

"But you don't know how to stop huge demons from attacking you."

Tobias couldn't respond to that because he knew Martin was right. A part of him wanted to go find his grandfather, but another part wanted to stay with Martin. He didn't know what to listen to. He didn't even know how he was able to think at a moment like this. It was such a high stress environment that he wasn't even sure how he was still alive. He was certain that he would've had a heart attack by now.

"We can go together," Tobias said after a minute, "and we'll protect each other."

"I'm fine with that, but we have to be careful."

"Yeah, I know, I don't feel like being killed today."

"Are you willing to be killed tomorrow?"

"Ah, we'll see, won't we? Since I'm not getting killed today, you know."

Martin smiled at him and laughed quietly, grabbing Tobias's jacket and tugging him close. With one last glance at the cameras to make sure that nobody was coming, he rested his forehead on Tobias's and kept him near his body.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Martin admitted through a whisper, "I was destroyed. I've never cried over anyone before, but I cried over you. I kept thinking about how it sounded to hear you say that you love me. I wanted to hear your voice again, in person. Not just over some recording."

Tobias sighed and wrapped his arms around Martin. Now it was his turn to steal a glance at the screens. Nobody was coming.

"I didn't think I'd see you again either. It hurt so bad," Tobias murmured, "I love you."

"And I love you."

"Promise you'll never leave me?"

"I promise I'll never leave you."

Pulling back, Tobias looked up at Martin. He didn't know if this would be the last time he'd be able to hold him or see him from this angle. He didn't want to lose Martin because he knew he wouldn't find anyone like him ever again. Losing Martin would mean that he'd lose a part of himself. Tobias didn't want to, mostly because Martin was helping him with something that he couldn't even deal with himself. 

Tobias kissed Martin suddenly, to which the older male responded positively and kissed him back. They knew that they couldn't let it continue for long, but they wanted it to. They wanted time itself to stand still and come to a halt so they could cherish each other for hours on end. They didn't want their time to be limited– Not in the way that it currently was and could've been.

Martin was the first to pull away. He felt his throat tighten up and he blinked back tears before Tobias could get the chance to see them. He didn't need to be crying at a moment like that. That would distract him and put their lives at risk more so than they already were.

"Let's get going," he suggested after clearing his throat, "We can't wait here forever unless we want to be sitting ducks."

Tobias nodded his head and checked his holster for his gun. It was still there. He didn't want to lose it and be completely defenseless amongst the men that Martin warned him about. Although he knew he had something within him– that was still exposed externally– he was still frightened by the possibility of running into something that was more powerful than him.

Martin lead Tobias out of the room and stayed in front of him with his hands out. If one of them was going to get attacked, it was going to be him. He didn't want any harm to be done to Tobias. Tobias didn't deserve it. He didn't ask to be thrown into this and there was no reason that he should be punished for any of it.

The thought of everyone wanting to hurt Tobias solely because him and Martin fell for one another made Martin angry. He didn't understand why they couldn't overlook it. People fell for people all the time, but suddenly when he fell for someone who wasn't even aware of what his family he did to cross his, it was a big deal. He didn't see how that was fair. He knew that it wasn't. He couldn't change it, but he could give some people an idea of how it made him feel.

Martin was done with being the quiet, good son that Joe made him out to be. He wasn't going to be anyone's pet and he wasn't going to follow orders and let people dictate his life for him, all while judging who he was. That wasn't their place. It wasn't their life or mind or anything– All of that belonged to him and it was time that he showed them that he was taking back the reigns when it came to himself.

He had to show them that even though he was weaker than everyone thought, he could still stand up for himself and put people in their place. This was his time to do something like that and he wasn't going to blow it. He knew that it could end bad, but he didn't see an amazing outcome no matter how he thought about the situation. More people were going to die. He just hoped that Tobias or himself wouldn't be one of them.

–

"Are you sure you'll be okay in there?" Martin asked Tobias as they stood in front of the door.

Tobias nodded and glanced inside again, seeing his grandfather sitting down with his arms chained to the chair he was in. That's how he wanted him to be. Restricted, vulnerable, and alone. Tobias knew what he had to do and he was ready to do it.

"I'll snap like I did with your dad," Tobias warned him, "but I'll be okay."

"Well... at least this demon form of yours looks good."

"Oh... Please don't make me swoon before I kill my grandfather..."

Martin nodded hesitantly and kissed Tobias quickly, wanting to feel his lips against his. He could never get enough of him, even when it wasn't the right time to be kissing someone.

"I love you. Stay safe," he said.

Tobias gave him a soft smile. "I love you, too. Watch yourself out here."

Martin stepped away from the door and let Tobias inside. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could hear it in his ears. Anxiety was pulsating through him like a disease and he could hardly keep a handle on it. He didn't want to send himself into an anxiety attack, but he knew that one was bound to come onto him at some point.

With every little noise the building made, Martin flinched and turned in the direction it came from. He wasn't taking any chances. Even though he felt as if he was overreacting, he couldn't blame himself for it. He knew that if someone who wasn't used to things like that were in his position that they would've taken one of the guns he had and blown their head off. That was one of the only things that was keeping him grounded.

He couldn't hear anything that Tobias was saying to Nihil from outside the door. It was completely soundproof. Tobias couldn't see outside the window due to it being one sided, but Martin could see what was happening. He didn't look inside the room often though since he was keeping watch for anyone who could walk by.

Behind the door, Tobias was pacing around the room as he looked at Papa Nihil. He toyed with the gun and made sure that his grandfather got a good look at it before he blew his head off. Tobias knew that once he began speaking that he wouldn't be able to control himself. He'd snap again and let Hell break loose on him.

He had every reason to be angry with him. Not only did he killed several people, he killed his father then acted as if he didn't know why he died. He lied to Tobias for months about everything and tried to make him feel safe and okay, even though those were the last things he should've felt around him.

Tobias wasn't going to be Papa Nihil's puppet or his next game or victim. He was going to put an end to him, just like Nihil had done to his father. No matter how much he tried to think of a reason as to why he could've done it, he didn't come up with anything. His mind was blank.

Nihil was a psychopath. He killed for pleasure and for his own benefit. He didn't think of anyone besides himself. His family didn't matter to him and they never would. Tobias didn't mean a goddamn thing to him and Tobias was upset about that; more than upset.

"I know what you did," Tobias spoke up finally. Nihil looked at Tobias after he averted his attention away from the gun. His grandson held the gun up to his lips with his finger away from the trigger, letting the side of the barrel rest against his lower lip. "They told me everything."

After a moment of looking over Tobias's new demonic features, Papa Nihil asked, "Do you think I care?"

"No," Tobias mumbled with a shrug. He lowered the gun and clanked it against the corner of the table a few times. That earned Nihil's attention again. His eyes focused on the loaded gun, but he didn't budge. This wasn't the first time that someone threatened to hurt him. "But I will kill you for it."

"Oh? _You're_ going to kill _me_?" Nihil asked with a laugh. "I'd like to see that."

Tobias laughed back and shook his head. "No, not yet. I'd like to have some fun first."

He turned around and had his back to his grandfather. He wanted to drag this out. Nihil didn't deserve a quick death. Not after what he had done to all of those people in the past. He wasn't about to be let off easily. Not on Tobias's watch.

"You killed more people than just my father," Tobias started out, "which is... shitty. You're an awful person. I've never killed anyone. I didn't think I ever would until I heard about what you had done. I may be my father's son, but for the longest time I believed I wasn't capable of murder."

Facing Nihil again, he held the gun up and aimed it at his arm. He didn't want to hit any major veins or anything because he didn't want him to bleed out. Instead, he aimed for his right bicep and shot.

Nihil cried out and threw his head back as his jaw clenched from the amount of pain that he felt. He couldn't believe that his own grandson had shot him. He still didn't feel any remorse for what he did in the past, but that didn't mean that he didn't mind being shot. It hurt like a bitch and he wasn't looking forward to anything else that Tobias would do to him.

"I thought I knew you. I thought I could trust you. You're my grandfather and you're supposed to be there for me," Tobias said harshly. He laughed unhumorously and shook his head, pointing the gun at Nihil's other bicep. "Apparently, I was wrong."

"Oh, Special, don't be so full of yourself. You weren't the only one."

Tobias shot him a second time and drank in Nihil's cries of pain. He didn't care if it hurt because he wanted him to hurt. He didn't deserve to die quickly. No. Tobias wanted to make him feel the pain of how others felt when he killed their loved ones. He wanted Nihil to know how much it hurt him when he killed his father.

"You're a disgrace to the church," Tobias said, "and I hate you."

"You don't. You can't."

"You killed my father!" Tobias screamed. Nihil flinched and groaned, blood spilling to the floor. He rested his head back and shut his eyes, attempting to block out the pain he felt. It wasn't working, but it was worth a shot. "I hate you for that! He was all I had! He was the only person who ever cared about me!"

"He didn't care about you," Nihil seethed, "You're foolish to think that anyone ever would."

"Papa cared about me. Omega cares about me," Tobias said lowly.

Nihil raised his eyebrows. He hadn't heard about Omega yet. In fact, he had never even met someone named Omega.

"Who is Omega?" He asked through another groan.

Tobias didn't want to get into the details of it, but he didn't know what to call him. He didn't have time to describe what Martin meant to him and he was sure that his grandfather didn't care to know that much about him. All he asked was a simple question, so Tobias would give him a simple response.

"My lover," Tobias told him. The title rolled off his tongue perfectly and he felt the need to smile. Martin wasn't his officially, but calling him that felt good and right. "I'm in love with a ghoul named Omega. He's in the occult that you wronged."

Nihil raised his eyebrows then contorted his face. He didn't know that Tobias knew of the occult that he banished from the church. On top of that, he wasn't aware that Tobias knew one of the members personally– Very personally. 

They were supposed to remain nameless, but apparently the two didn't care for that. 

"You've betrayed me and the church," Nihil mumbled, "And to think I was going to make you Cardinal, Special."

Tobias froze. He had never heard that title from anyone before. His grip on the gun tightened and a few strings within him pulled painfully, almost as if they were attempting to conceal the demon that he had unleashed. 

"Car... dinal?"

"Yes, Special. I had plans for you– For _us_. I killed your father and your uncles for you, Special."

Tobias had heard this information from Martin's father, but it was different now that it was coming from Nihil. This was the man who had actually killed his father and uncles, and now he was admitting why he did it. 

Inhaling deeply, Tobias looked him over and grazed his forked tongue along his lips. He didn't want to cave in and ask Papa Nihil about what he meant, but he needed to. For all his life, he had been told not to ask questions and he couldn't do that anymore. He had to know. It was his last chance. 

"Why me?" He questioned in a softer tone of voice. His red eyes ran over the blood spilling on the floor then made their way up to Nihil's wounds, pausing before he spoke again, "Why not my father or one of his brothers? They were next in line..."

"I didn't want them," Nihil told him, "There is a reason why you are named Special."

"Tell me," he said instantly, "Tell me, please. I want to know– I _need_ to know."

Nihil smirked, but didn't say anything. He knew that Tobias was aching, dying for an answer and he wasn't sure if he wanted to give him one. After all, Tobias had just shot him and wanted to kill him. He believed that he didn't deserve an answer.

"Papa Nihil, tell me! Tell me, please, I need to know!"

"You weren't born to be a Papa... You weren't born from a Papa at all," Nihil growled out, "I told Second not to take you in, but for the first time in his pathetic life, he felt bad for someone."

Tobias didn't know how to react. Along with everything happening, he was discovering that Papa II wasn't his real father. He didn't know how or why that could've been, but he didn't want to believe it. He couldn't. Papa II raised him as his own and did all that he could to make Tobias the person that he was today.

"No..." Tobias whispered as he shook his head slowly at first then faster as reality settled in, "No, no... that can't be... It can't be, he– He is my father, he was my father–"

"You were cast out, Special. You were abandoned and ignored by the deities who turned their heads when they cast a plague onto this earth and wiped out half of Europe," Nihil spat distastefully. He groaned as he lost more blood and shifted in his seat, his pupil-less eyes holding searing contact with Tobias's red irises. "You were nothing but a mistake– A leader that was born for a world with hardly anyone left on it."

"No..."

"Yes, Special... Yes. When they realized that you could do nothing after centuries of keeping you young, they cast you out in this era and left you to die. If it hadn't of been for Second, you would've rotted in the pits of Hell for being an unloved and worthless bastard."

Tobias's heart stopped and sadness washed over him. He began shaking his head again as he swallowed thickly and allowed tears to burn his eyes, his hand that was holding the gun shaking as he processed what Nihil revealed to him. 

This couldn't be true. It had to be a lie. Papa II had to be his father, he just... he had to be. He didn't want to think that he came from anyone else. It didn't make sense. It couldn't.

"You're lying, you're lying," Tobias cried out. He stumbled back and shook his head yet again, the bases of his horns beginning to ache as his brain swarmed like mad to try and find another possible answer to all of this. "You... you're lying to me, Nihil, you are _lying_ –"

"Second found you when you were days old to this earth with your horns bared and your skin bursting at the seams. You were too powerful to be left alone and he realized that. He arrived home with you and attempted to keep you a secret, but he failed, just as he always did. He brought a stranger and falsified you into our bloodline then tried to make you feel as if you belonged."

"I _do_ belong, he's my father! I'm his son no matter what!"

"You are not of our bloodline. I do not want you as you, Special... I want you as Cardinal. I know of your power and my sons could never live up to your potential. Although you are out of place here, you are what this church needs," Nihil told him in a low, weak tone of voice, "The only way I'll accept you is if you are to fulfill my needs– The _church's_ needs. There is no time for you to be a grandson to me... No need for such either. All you are to me is a potential new leader... Our Cardinal Copia."

Tobias didn't want any of this. He didn't want to believe that Papa II wasn't his father. He didn't want to think that he was abandoned by his original creators because he had no use or purpose. Tobias knew that he had to have some sort of worth. He knew it. 

He was who he was and he was good enough for someone. If Martin was the only one, so be it. 

Papa Nihil meant nothing to him. He wasn't going to cower under his reign and do as he wanted him to. Tobias was capable of harnessing and using his power for something else without Nihil being involved. 

If he meant nothing to him, then he didn't need to become a Cardinal. He didn't need to be anything that Nihil wanted him to be. If he was such a mistake, there was no need for him to take his place as the leader of the church. Tobias was worth more than his abilities. He was worth more than what Nihil thought he was. 

He understood why he was given the name Special now. That's what he was. He was cast out to the ground and was chosen by an antipope's second son and raised to be different than his relatives. Tobias had been destined for a better life from the start although he was different– Special.

Tobias was Special and that's all he ever wanted to be. He didn't want to be Cardinal Copia. He didn't want to be someone who stood by the man who killed people senselessly and didn't care for any life whatsoever. Tobias wanted to be himself and he wanted to do what he wanted.

And what he wanted to do was kill Papa Nihil. 

His horns retreated slightly and the coloring of his eyes and skin faded slowly, his nails and tongue beginning to go back to how they were before. He was angry still, but now he wasn't full of confusion. It was a burden off of his shoulders and although the situation wasn't perfect, a bit of light still glimmered within him. 

Finally, he spoke, offering his last words to Nihil, "I will never be what you want me to be. The church can find someone else after you because I won't be staying. I appreciate that you told me the truth, but... I cannot stand to be burdened with you any longer."

Before anything else could be said by Nihil, Tobias shot him three times. Once in the stomach, once in the chest, and once in the head after he waited a couple minutes. He wanted to watch him bleed and suffer. He didn't want him to die yet.

The entire time that Papa Nihil bled out and gasped for air, he didn't look away. He wanted to see him struggle and die. That's what he deserved and Tobias wanted to make sure of it.

There wasn't an ounce of guilt in him throughout the entire ordeal. All he wanted to do was get his grandfather out of his life forever. He wanted the memory of him gone and he wanted to act as if he never existed. His grandfather didn't mean anything to him and he never would. If Tobias ever had children, he wouldn't tell them about Nihil. He would speak wonders about his father, though, because he had never done anything bad to Tobias. Tobias was certain of that.

In front of him was the man who ripped away his father's life. Now Tobias was the one taking away his life. That didn't bother him. He felt as if he was doing the church justice. He was killing the man who killed a part of them. Papa Nihil didn't need to live any longer. He didn't deserve to live and try to better himself– Tobias doubted that he could even change himself because it seemed like he didn't want to. Keeping him around was a waste of space and oxygen.

As Nihil took his final breaths, his eyes landed on him. His eyes were lifeless. Tobias's were still fading from red and turning to green. He was thankful that his were lively because he'd need something of his own to lean on after this. 

"I hate you," Tobias said to him, "I hope you suffer for eternity."

Nihil couldn't bring himself to say anything. He was blacking out. He lost too much blood. There was so much pain coursing through his body that he couldn't even process it. He felt numb.

It didn't take long for him to die after that. His head fell back and his eyes shut as blood continued to pour out of him. Tobias didn't do anything for a minute. Instead, he just stared at him and watched him bleed. His chest stopped moving. His body was still. He was lifeless. However, Tobias was full of life.

Unlike Martin, he wasn't sad. He didn't feel guilty and he never would. He had no remorse for killing Papa Nihil and making him suffer beforehand. This is what he needed to feel before he left this earth. Tobias made sure of that.

Turning his back to him, Tobias walked out of the room. Calmly, he opened the door just to make sure that he wouldn't startle Martin. When their eyes met and Tobias shut the door, he sighed softly and placed his gun in his holster for the time being.

"He's dead," Tobias breathed out, "I killed him."

"Are you okay?" Martin asked softly. He didn't want Tobias to feel off or upset.

"I'm… alive," he responded, "And he deserved to die."

All Martin did was nod. He wasn't going to argue with Tobias. Not that he would anyway. He didn't like Nihil either. Not after he learned what he had done to Tobias's father and countless other people. Someone like that didn't need to be alive. They didn't need a life after they took someone else's life for little to no reason. At least him and Tobias had reasons to kill someone, unlike their families.

"What do we do now?" Tobias asked as he glanced down the hallway. The deed was done, but now he was on high alert for people walking down the hall. He didn't want to be caught. "Do we call the church?"

"I think so," Martin said softly. He didn't know. While Tobias was in the room, he was too busy thinking about what he would do if someone came down the hall. He completely forgot about the rest of the plan. "We have to get to a phone, though."

"Do you know where one is?"

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure we'll run into some people on the way."

Tobias sighed and looked down at the floor. He didn't want to encounter anyone else, but there was no escaping it. They had to finish this once and for all.

"Let's do it," he decided before he could give himself the time to overthink, "We need to get out of here."

Martin nodded in agreement and kissed Tobias's cheek. No matter what kind of rush they were in, he wanted to have some sort of physical contact with him in case something happened. He was scared of losing Tobias and wasn't about to waste a moment of serenity that he had with him.

"I love you," Martin said calmly, "Follow me."

"I love you, too."

They both smiled at one another then Martin headed out in front of Tobias. Although his heart was beating wildly in his chest, he didn't tell Tobias. He had to be the leader between the two of them. He was the only one who knew the layout of the building and he wasn't about to get himself killed or separated from Tobias to leave him to fend for himself.

Tobias had his hand on the back of Martin's shirt just to make sure that they wouldn't get lost in case something happened. He wasn't about to take any chances. His moment of feeling confident was over. Now the fear and anxiety were back and bound to ruin him in one of his most vulnerable moments.

Martin stopped near each corner just to slowly look around it to check and see if he saw anyone. Every time, they were fine. That worried him. There were only so many places that the others could go. That meant that they were either altogether in one area or that they were trailing him and Tobias.

"Make sure to keep an eye behind us," Martin whispered to Tobias, "I'm worried because we haven't seen anyone yet."

Tobias nodded in response and did as he was told. He wasn't about to not listen to Martin when he told him to do something. That would be stupid of him and that would potentially put them in a dangerous situation. Tobias didn't want to be in one of those again.

As Tobias was looking behind the two of them, Martin was looking forward. The building was quiet– Almost too quiet. That worried Martin even more. It felt eerie, much like a suspenseful scene in a horror movie. That wasn't helping him when it came to staying focused and collected.

After a few seconds, Tobias's chest hit Martin's back. He didn't say anything at first. All he did was slowly turn his head to look at Martin who was peering around the corner with wide eyes.

"What?" Tobias whispered. Martin didn't respond. His eyes stayed locked on whatever it was that he was staring at and he didn't budge.

Tobias went pale as his heart rate accelerated. He wasn't going to look for himself. He knew that if Martin was scared of something that it would terrify and scar him.

"Martin, what is it?" He asked again, tightening his grip on Martin's shirt.

Martin looked at Tobias with his breathing heavy. He didn't know how to describe what he saw. He had never seen anything like it. It was too much for him to handle.

"What is it?!" Tobias whispered frantically, "Martin, tell me!"

Just as Martin opened his mouth to say something, the electric went out in the building, leaving them in the pitch black dark; stranded in the middle of the hallway.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

## Chapter Eighteen

Tobias fumbled for Martin's hand in the dark and once he got ahold of it, he didn't let go. He couldn't see anything around him. The entire hallway was darker than anything Tobias had ever experienced. The silence was piercing his ears and making them ring, all while making his heart race uncontrollably in his chest.

If he wasn't nervous before, he was nervous then. Now he couldn't see anything and it was already knocking his equilibrium off. If he were to run, he would surely fall and get caught by whoever was responsible for killing all power to the building.

Martin was positive that he knew the building enough to get them to safety so while they waited in the dark, he tried to map out where he thought the circuit box was. The only place he could remember seeing it was on the other side of the building in a hallway. However, that hallway only had one entrance and one exit. Whoever shut off the power had to be down that hallway and if they were smart enough, they were hiding in the dark just waiting for them to come and turn the power back on.

Martin wasn't sure as to whether or not he wanted to turn the power on or not. What was around the corner that he was near was stopping him from moving any further, but he also had another threat on the loose. He didn't want to run into either of them.

Slowly, he tightened his grip on Tobias's hand and carefully nudged him, guiding him away from the corner. If he could get him away from one scene, that would be good enough. That would be one less thing to worry about and one less thing for Tobias to freak out over. The last thing that Martin wanted was for Tobias to pass out and stay down for God knows how long.

Once they were in a safer hallway, Martin crouched down in the far corner of it and pulled Tobias down beside him. All he had was a small flashlight on him. He didn't know how good the batteries were and he didn't know how bright it was, so he didn't want to use it for long.

Shining the light around the hallway at first to make sure that no one was there with them, he set it down between them after he judged that it was clear. Then he leaned in close to Tobias and softly kissed him. He could practically feel him shaking even through the light contact of their lips. That worried him.

"I had to get you away from there," Martin whispered quietly. Turning Tobias's head, he whispered directly into his ear just to ensure that no one else would hear. "Alpha, my brother... he snapped and killed people. I'm guessing he did it after he found out that our father died. But he was standing there amongst the men he killed. We had to get away from him... Now we have to get away from whoever turned the power out."

Tobias didn't want to go anywhere near Alpha. Based on his name, he figured that he was someone he didn't want to come face to face with. His luck was running out and he didn't want to press it. There was no telling what would happen if he did– He didn't want to find out the hard way either.

Turning to Martin, he spoke in his ear, "I just want to get out of here. I don't want to turn the power on."

Martin bit his lower lip and thought. They could do that. It seemed to be the logical thing to do. Granted, he wanted the lights on just to see where he was going, but he could do without lights. All he wanted to do was save Tobias's life and his own life. Lights weren't necessary for that.

"I know where another exit door is," Martin revealed, "I can get us there quick, but we have to be silent. Okay? We cannot get caught. We can't."

Tobias nodded and looked at Martin. He didn't want to look away from him. Even in the dim light from the flashlight, he looked beautiful. Of course there were obvious signs of stress on his face, but Tobias knew that he wasn't going to let that come to surface. Martin was trained to survive these sorts of situations. He was going to get them out of there.

"Are you ready?" Martin asked as he grabbed the flashlight again.

Tobias nodded a second time. "Let's do it before I overthink it."

Martin shut the light off without saying word then grabbed Tobias's hand to pull him up alongside him. They were going to stick together. Martin wasn't going to let go of Tobias for a split second.

Returning the light to his pocket, he drew his gun and held it out in front of him. He needed his weapon at a time like this. He also needed to be completely in tune with his surroundings, which meant that he and Tobias had to be nearly completely silent.

"Don't make any noise at all," Martin whispered back to Tobias as they came up around the first corner. He pressed his back to the wall and guided Tobias back as well, keeping his lips near his ear when he spoke again. "I need to be able to hear things."

Tobias got a head start and started then. He didn't make any noise because he didn't want to interfere with what Martin was doing. While he was impressed by his stealthy abilities, he had to keep his comments inside for now. He didn't want to slip up and distract Martin.

As they began walking, Martin kept his back to the wall and kept his senses heightened. He needed to be able to feel, hear, and sense things around him. If he couldn't then there was a chance that him and Tobias wouldn't make it out alive.

That moment was the only time in his life that Martin thanked his parents for teaching him things like that. If they hadn't then he would've been dead by then. The members of his family would've killed him or hurt him and left him for dead. Since he was trained to do these sorts of high-end hunts for other people, he was confident in his skills to get himself, and maybe someone else, out alive in a dangerous situation.

The only thing that was making him nervous was Tobias. Even though he was being silent, he was worried that he would make a sudden noise that would throw off everything he had built up as they walked. He couldn't have something like that happen to him then, and he hoped that Tobias understood that.

Martin lead Tobias closer and closer to the door, feeling his way around with his arm while his gun was out in front of him. The small steps that they were taking were driving him crazy even though he knew that they were protecting them. He wanted to move faster and he could've done that if Tobias wasn't with him, but he wasn't complaining. At least Tobias was still alive. He didn't want anyone else besides Tobias to be with him.

Tobias wished that he could be more of a help. He didn't want to leave Martin to do all of this by himself. He wished that he had some sort of special skill that would help them get out alive. He knew that this was Martin's thing and he wasn't about to jump in and make his mark. Maybe in another situation he could've done that, but not in the one that they were in now.

However, as Tobias thought about that, he also thought about Papa Nihil. If he was able to get away with the things he did then he must have had some sort of skill. Maybe Tobias had that skill, too. The downfall was that Tobias didn't know what it was and he didn't exactly have all the time in the world to figure it out.

At that time, Tobias wished that he could be as disconnected as his grandfather. He wished that he could just kill everyone who wronged him or tried to harm him. He was too anxious to do that, though. They had to really fuck him over for him to do something like that. That would come in handy during a time like the one he was in. He could take the gun from Martin, storm ahead, and shoot at anything he thought was suspicious.

Tobias wasn't going to do that, though. He wasn't going to cost either of them their lives. That would've been selfish and would've been against what the wanted to do– Which was survive.

As Martin started to go around another corner, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He didn't know what it was. Maybe it was his nerves finally catching up to him or maybe it was something else, like Tobias breathing on him. Just to make sure that he still was attached to Tobias, he squeezed his hand and waited for the two squeezes that he'd always get in return. Thankfully, those two squeezes came and Martin relaxed just a little.

He felt around the wall with his arm, being careful not to hit the gun against it as he did so. If he did then he knew that it would make a loud noise. That wouldn't be good. It would give away their position. That would also startle Tobias and maybe cause him to react verbally.

Tobias didn't feel anything. He was too busy thinking about things to distract himself. He didn't want to freak out and jeopardize everything. That's why he focused his mind on Martin and their date in the field. It was the best date that he had ever been on. He wanted to take Martin on so many other dates. He wanted to treat him like the royalty that he was, even if he didn't view himself as that.

Martin slowed down and bent his arm back towards him as he came up to the next corner. He stopped and Tobias stopped behind him. The chills were back and he was certain that it wasn't Tobias. It didn't feel like Tobias. It wasn't a calming sensation– It was a threatening one.

To further analyze it, Martin stayed still for another moment. As soon as the chills faded, they came back and ran up his spine. That was when he was certain that something was around the corner.

Tobias didn't say anything, but distracting himself seemed impossible by then. He knew that Martin sensed something because they weren't moving and because Martin had tensed up. Tobias was dying to ask about what he felt, but he knew that he couldn't. Doing that would lead to bad things.

Martin contemplated moving just to get closer to the door, but as soon as he felt a faint breath come across the tip of his nose, he froze. Whoever it was, they were closer than he thought they'd be. With Tobias behind him, he knew that it couldn't have been Tobias. It was someone that was even closer than him. That nearly caused Martin to panic.

Instead of panicking, Martin lifted his arm and lowered himself slightly. If they were going to immediately shoot around the corner as well, they would aim for Martin at his normal height. If he sank to his knees and shot them from there and they shot back, he wouldn't be hit. Shortly after he was down on the ground, so was Tobias. Martin's gun was up and he was picking up what his body and mind was telling him.

He heard a very quiet squeak come from the man's shoe and that was enough for him. Without wasting another second, Martin shot him and dropped his head just to avoid having his face splattered by blood. He didn't want to be soaked in a blood bath at a time like that.

The man fell to the ground as Tobias and Martin were left with ringing ears. Neither of them could move or process anything at first. All that they could feel and hear was a high pitched ringing. It started in the center of their ears then worked its way around their minds. They couldn't escape it. Even though they just dodged someone who might've killed them, it felt like they were slowly being murdered by how loud the gun was.

Fumbling for his flashlight, Martin yanked it from his pocket and turned it on, shining the light down on the body. It was his superior.

Not only had he killed his father, but he had killed his superior.

Blinking as the ringing in his ears began to slowly subside, he looked over his body. He couldn't believe that he killed him. Even though it was in defense of himself and Tobias, he felt bad. His superior was just doing his job. But then again, so was he, and he had a feeling that he was out to kill him anyway.

Clearing his throat softly, Martin leaned forward to look down the hallway. No one else was there. He checked all of his surroundings then held his fingers to his superior's neck. He didn't have a pulse.

His throat tightened up, but he forced back the lump that began to form. He couldn't let his emotions get the best of him now. He may have disliked those people, but they were the ones who grew up with and around. Now he had killed them with his own two hands. How was he going to live and deal with that? Was he a monster for doing something like that? Martin didn't know and he didn't know if he'd find the answer to that anytime soon.

"We have to go," Martin said shakily, swallowing thickly afterwards, "We have to leave. Come on."

Tobias nodded frantically and quickly stood up as Martin did. He wanted nothing more than to leave and live a normal life again after this. He didn't want to experience anything like this again and even though he was sure that he wasn't, he was scared of what else the world had to offer. If he didn't trust people before, he sure as hell didn't trust them now. None of this helped how he felt towards others and he knew that it would never get better.

Martin kept his flashlight on as they ran down the hall to the door. Tobias kept his eyes behind them just to make sure that no one was following them. Martin had his gun out and his eyes forward to make sure that the coast was clear. They were too close to the end to lose it all. They couldn't lose.

Once his hand fell on the door handle, it felt like instant freedom. The door wasn't even open yet, but he felt like a new man. He was scared of what would happen, but as for right now, all he wanted to go was get out of that situation and that dark building.

Shoving the door open, he dragged Tobias out with him and threw his flashlight to the ground to carry less. Since he was afraid of fellow ghouls or of someone who could gun them down while running away, Martin was sure to rush them out of danger. He didn't want to be hurt and he didn't want Tobias to bleed out.

The sun was warm and it was bright. Both of them wanted to stop and bask in it since they had been trapped inside the dark building for what felt like centuries, but they knew that they couldn't. Freedom was right at their fingertips and they couldn't let it slip away.

It didn't take long for them to come across a phone within one of the rooms that was connected to the outside edges of the building. They stayed together as they ventured into the sunlight lit room and watched each other's backs, cautious of anything that could've crept up on them. 

As Tobias spoke to the church, he gradually calmed down. Talking to someone who could help was easing him. He knew that they wouldn't hurt him. They would help him however they could.

Martin stayed close as Tobias was on the phone. He didn't want to move away. They had just saved each other's lives and killed others in the process.

All of this seemed surreal. Tobias wasn't sure whether he wanted to believe it or not. Never in his life didn't he think that something like this would happen. He didn't even know that the occult and the church could collide so much yet here he was, holding a man's hand who had just escaped from the occult. This had to be a dream. All of it had to be one because this couldn't be real.

A dream would be an easy way out, though. Tobias knew that there was no such thing as an easy way out in life. He found that out after he held his breath and tried to wake himself up from the dream that he thought he was in. It didn't work. When he opened his eyes and breathed again, he was still standing beside Martin in the empty. He was still shaking and still had dried blood on his face.

Now Tobias was worried about getting punished for some reason. He didn't know what would happen to them. Would Martin be detained because he was once in the occult and because he killed his people? But wouldn't that mean that Tobias would be detained as well?

Tobias had just escaped the worst situation he had ever been put in and he didn't know if it was completely over or not. The thought alone made him want to black out. Being in confinement under the church's jurisdiction didn't seem fun. He knew he wouldn't last in there. He had heard stories about it and they scared him. He didn't want to find out his suspicions were correct or not.

Tobias hung up the phone and tugged Martin out of the room. He had to find those from the church who were coming and lead them to the building. Martin didn't want to go with him, but he went anyway. He couldn't leave Tobias alone. They got through that together, so that meant that they could do this.

"Where are they at?" Martin asked as they ran around the building, "Are they coming?"

"They're coming," Tobias said to Martin over his shoulder. He had never contacted the church for something like this until now and he was nervous. He didn't know what to do or say. He didn't want to come off as suspicious and get himself held in the custody of another antipope. "We have to flag them down."

Martin nodded. He wasn't used to running this much and before he knew it, he was tired out. He knew that he had to keep moving. To do so, he thought about Tobias and how happy they'd be after this. That kept him going.

They came to the building again and Tobias let go of Martin's hand to wave his arms around. He could hear branches from the surrounding forest snapping and he was dying for them to get there. He didn't want to be out in the open for long. He didn't know whether or not someone was watching them from the inside.

"Your gun, get it on the ground and keep your arms up," Tobias told him as he retracted his gun from his holster.

Both of them unloaded their guns and set them on the ground then raised their arms up to flag down those from the church. It didn't take long for them to rush in from the forest. Martin's heart stopped when he saw a series of Nordic creatures emerge from the wooded area. He hadn't been this close to things like that before. It was terrifying and it didn't help knowing that he was taught that these things were bad. He felt unsafe, but he was going to follow Tobias's advice and not grab his gun.

A Sister rushed over to them while the rest of the antipopes, creatures, and Sisters flooded the building, kicking in the doors and screaming incoherently through them. Martin couldn't help but watch them. This looked like what his clergy did. They would come into places and demand authority. He had to keep reminding himself that the church goers weren't going to kill them, though. However, that was easier said than done.

"What happened here?" The Sister questioned as she patted Tobias down just to make sure that he didn't have any weapons on him.

"Several executions, Sister," Tobias said calmly, "I regret to inform you that... Papa Nihil is gone."

The Sister froze in shock as she stared at Tobias, then at Martin. She had to force himself to continue her job no matter how surprised she was from the news. Clearing her throat, she blinked back the tears in her eyes then reached out to Martin to pat him down as well. 

"A– Alright, sir. What happened here?" She asked again, "Why do you have blood on your face?"

"My clergy," Martin said quietly, "My... My family, my family's in the occult that was banished from the church and Papa Nihil wronged us... My father almost killed Special while he was restrained and I came in and I-I... I..."

Martin's throat tightened up again and he felt tears burn his eyes again. The Sister and Tobias were looking at him, waiting for him to continue what he was saying. Martin didn't know if he could, though. It was too much for him to say right now. There were too many things weighing down on him for him to be able to speak correctly.

"His father almost killed me while I was restrained, so Omega killed him to save me," Tobias finished for him, "His father was... abusive. Not even two weeks, he injured Omega up so bad that Omega ended up in the infirmary at the hospital, but... I didn't allow anyone to know about it."

"Will there be paperwork at the infirmary about it?"

"Yes, Sister, I believe so. It just wasn't spoken of publicly," Tobias said with a nod, "and for the record... I have blood on my face because Omega killed his father from behind. The blood from him splattered onto me... Also, I am the one who killed Papa Nihil."

Martin was hyperventilating. This was the anxiety attack that he felt coming on earlier. It was much worse than he thought. His chest was heaving and he was breathing so fast that it felt like he wasn't breathing at all. It didn't take long for both Tobias and the Sister to notice this.

"Omega?" Tobias asked, grabbing his shirt and turning Martin to him. Martin wasn't looking at him. He had tears in his eyes, but they wouldn't spill. It's like he was stuck in a cycle where he would breathe quickly and freeze up. "Omega? Omega, talk to me, talk to me. Omega, can you hear me? Omega? Omega?"

"Special, let him go, he needs space," the Sister said.

Tobias stepped back and looked over Martin. He had never seen him act like this. Usually when Tobias had panic or anxiety attacks, they weren't this bad. He couldn't blame Martin for breaking down like this, though, but he wished that he could help him. He wanted Martin to hear him.

"We got casualties!" Someone from the building shouted.

The Sister that was with Tobias turned around and nodded, grabbing her walkie from her bag and speaking into it. Tobias tuned out her voice and focused on Martin. Grabbing his shoulder, he squeezed it and looked him over again. Martin's physique had yet to change. He was still hyperventilating worse than Tobias had ever seen.

"Omega, talk to me, I'm here-"

"Look out!"

Before Tobias could react to the shout, he heard a flame crackle by his ear followed by the sound of a loud gasp. Naturally, his eyes shut and he jumped back, covering his head so nothing would hit him. Another pistol of fire went off in the opposite direction and he heard someone yell that he hit the target, only to focus on the other gasp that he heard.

Opening his eyes, Tobias was greeted with the sight of Martin standing up straight with blood spilling from the fiery bullet-sized wound on the right side of his chest. Tobias froze with fear. Martin didn't. He lifted his hands up as they shook quickly, dropping his head slowly to look down at the blood that was pouring out of him around the small ring of fire. His fingers barely grazed against the hole in his chest and the fire went out yet when he pulled them away, they were covered in blood.

"Oh, Martin..." Tobias spoke, his voice instantly breaking. Tears filled his eyes as he stared at Martin. He could practically see the life draining from him. Now it was Tobias's turn to hyperventilate. "Omega! He's hurt, he's wounded, help him!"

The Sister wasted no time calling others to the scene. A shot of fire to the chest wasn't something that could be ignored and forgotten. Martin wasn't breathing well before he was hit and now, his breathing was deteriorating rapidly.

"Martin, Omega, look at me. Look at me!" Tobias shouted to him. Martin could hardly react. He was in shock. He didn't know what happened because it all happened so fast. "Omega, look at me! Can you hear me?! Martin, please!"

Within moments of him standing there, he fell to the ground. Tobias screamed as tears poured from his eyes and dropped to his knees, rushing over to Martin and pulling his upper half into his lap. He didn't care if he would be soaked in blood after this. He just wanted to save Martin.

"Martin, please don't die, don't go," Tobias sobbed. He ripped his shirt of his head quickly then tore Martin's cassock off from the neck down. He had to plug the wound and stop the bleeding. If he could do that then maybe Martin would have a better chance at living. Shoving part his shirt into the wound, he held it securely in place and kept his eyes on Tobias, even when his tears blurred his vision. "Martin... Martin, please don't go, I need you. I need you, please. Please, I need you."

Everything around Tobias faded out. It felt like he was alone with Martin. This wasn't how he wanted to experience it, though. He wanted Martin and him to be well and healthy, not bleeding to death amongst people from the church.

Martin began coughing which lead to him crying. He quickly snapped out of his shock and cried out loudly in pain, throwing his head back and shaking in Tobias's lap. He hadn't felt a pain like this ever in his life. It felt as if the inside of his chest was on fire, which it was. He thought that breathing would help, but all it did was make it worse. At that point, he could hardly breathe. His lungs weren't taking in as much oxygen as they normally did which signaled to him that something was seriously wrong internally.

"Tobias, help me, please help me," Martin sobbed out. He whined and groaned in pain, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and landing on the ground afterwards. "It hurts, I can't breathe, Tobias, I can't breathe."

"No, Martin. Martin, I need you to breathe," Tobias spoke through an unsteady voice. He tightened his grip on Martin and tried to hold him still despite how much he was thrashing around in pain. He didn't want him to hurt himself furthermore. "Martin, don't stop breathing, keep breathing."

"I can't, I can't, I–" Martin stopped speaking and coughed again, blood spurting from his lips. After that, he began to choke, more blood making its way out of him.

"No! No, Martin! Martin, keep breathing!" Tobias yelled at him. Martin didn't respond. He kept coughing and shaking, blood now coming from two areas of his body.

"The nurses are here!"

Tobias didn't pay attention to it. He wasn't going to look away from Martin at a time like this. This could've been the last time that Tobias would ever hold him.

All of their words and kisses would die with Martin. All of their love and memories would fade along with him. Tobias would be left with the pain of being without him. He couldn't take that. He couldn't live without Martin.

Martin's eyes used to be so blue and vibrant. Now they were cloudy and dull. They were almost lifeless. Tobias was watching his life being taken away from him.

"Martin..." Tobias sobbed out through a whine. Martin had stopped coughing, but he now had blood all over his chest and face. He wasn't breathing. "Omega..? Martin, answer me. Martin, please... Martin! Martin, no!"

The nurses from the church rushed over to them with a stretcher. Tobias didn't want to let go of Martin. He couldn't. Not when it could've been the last time that he'd ever be able to hold him.

"Special, let go, please, we need him," a woman said to him, "He's losing blood, we can take care of him."

"He's dying! He's dying, my baby's dying, he's not breathing!"

"Special, please let us take him–"

"Don't let him die, please don't let him die," Tobias begged them. He held Martin to him, feeling blood run down his chest and cover his neck. His arms were shaking and he could barely see anyone through the tears in his eyes. "Please save him, please don't let him die."

"We understand, sir, but we need him," she said again.

Another nurse tore Tobias away from Martin as they picked him up and placed him on the stretcher. Tobias yelled in protest and fought against the woman holding him back, thrashing around just like Martin had minutes earlier.

"Omega! Omega, wake up! Wake up, Omega, please! Please!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

When they began to wheel Martin away, the nurse let go of Tobias, only to have the Sister from earlier grab him so he wouldn't run after Martin. Tobias didn't have much strength left in him. He was too emotional and worn out to fight much against the officer.

"Martin... Omega, no..." Tobias sobbed out weakly. Martin was strapped to a creature that had been uncaged for the occasion and left with it quickly, leaving Tobias to cry and yell for Martin behind them. "Omega! Omega, come back, I need you! I love you, please don't go! Please! Please... Please don't go, please... Please..."

Tobias couldn't pay attention to anything else that went on around him. Not at that point. All he was worried about was Martin. If Martin died then he wanted to die, too. He'd kill himself to be with him.

He felt like all of this was his fault. If he would've stood in front of Martin, he wouldn't have gotten shot. He'd still be here and he'd be calming down from his anxiety attack. He wouldn't be bleeding and screaming in pain and dying in Tobias's arms. He'd be fine. Maybe at this point, he'd crack a small smile and kiss Tobias.

Tobias didn't get to kiss him again before he was taken away. That's all he wanted to do. He wanted to feel Martin's lips on his one last time.

He didn't want Martin to die and he didn't want to never see him again. He needed Martin in his life. They both needed each other and they needed to live normal lives. They swore that they would do that together. One without the other wasn't anything at all. Tobias didn't want a life without Martin in it. He already lost everyone else– Losing Martin wouldn't be any help to him whatsoever.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

## Chapter Nineteen

Martin couldn't comprehend much. All he saw were flashes of nurses around him. He heard a few tools and beeping, and bits of conversations. He couldn't feel anything, however. His body was numb. His mind was awake, but the rest of him wouldn't respond.

He wasn't sure if he was in pain because he couldn't feel anything. All it felt like was like he was floating throughout space and time. There was nothing around him whatsoever. His thought process wasn't there and he couldn't form a coherent or steady thought to save his life. Then again, he wasn't even sure if he was alive or dead.

It felt like the hard drive in his mind had crashed. He couldn't remember what landed him in this blacked out position and he couldn't pinpoint where he was or how he had gotten there. All he knew was that he was in his mind and he couldn't move, but he wasn't exactly sad about that.

Many times before then, he had felt numb, but this was a different kind of numb. It felt empty more than anything else. He felt completely alone and disconnected; like he had been set free in a cage that had no walls, floor, or anything. Of course he couldn't fly completely away, but he could go places that he hadn't been before.

Tobias didn't cross his mind. Neither did his family. Those weren't things that he could think about at that time. He couldn't think about anything. All he could do was lay there and release himself in his mind while his body laid lifeless to the naked eye.

The shot of fire lodged itself in his lung, causing his lung to fill with blood and stop his heart because he couldn't breathe due to how much had been burnt. It took them a few minutes to get his heart rate back and once they were at the infirmary, they put him on oxygen and quickly performed surgery to repair what they could. So far, Martin hadn't woken up.

It had been three weeks. He was in a coma.

Tobias visited after he got things cleared up with the church. He was worried about Martin. He wanted to pull him from the deep sleep that he was in. He wanted to feel him squeeze his hand and he wanted to hear his voice again. No matter how many times he sat down next to Martin's bed in the infirmary and spoke, he never got any response verbally or physically. Martin laid there and didn't do anything. He never moved. He never blinked. Nothing. It was as if his body was there, but his soul wasn't.

That broke Tobias down. He didn't want to lose Martin. He lost his father and sense of reality, and to lose him right along with that would kill him. He knew that if Martin died that he would, too. He wouldn't be able to take the pain anymore and he'd bring an end to his own life. He had gotten to the point of where he knew that if he wanted to, he could without any hesitation. Without Martin there to stop them, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

The nurses told him that Martin would wake up, but he hadn't yet. Tobias's hope was wearing thin. He didn't know how Martin could survive an injury like that. If he were Martin, he would've begged the Dark Lord to take him in that moment. He couldn't imagine the type of pain that Martin felt when the fire spread through his chest.

For now, Tobias was staying in an empty chamber at the church. He wasn't planning on staying, though. If Martin woke up, he'd take him with him. He didn't want to go anywhere without him, especially now that they were well known killers in the church. 

For his protection, Tobias had guards inside and outside his chambers at all times. He also had a ghoul that followed him around just in case. The church wasn't going to let anything happen to him. After Tobias was interrogated and questioned about the incident, and they found everything to be true, they started making moves to help him, and Martin, out.

If Martin woke up, they'd be able to choose what they wanted to do. They didn't want Martin or Tobias to be found or targeted again. He didn't want to go through anything like that again. He didn't want to lose someone else in that way again.

Tobias made his way to the infirmary and stayed silent the entire time. He didn't want to overthink and make himself upset. He knew that Martin wouldn't wake up. Not this time. If he hadn't before then why would he then?

Tobias wasn't about to get his hopes up, but a part of him still wished that Martin would wake up. He wanted to hear his voice again and look into his eyes. Martin was a beautiful person and if the world lost him, it'd lose the sun for the day. That's how important Martin was.

His blue eyes sparkled like crystal clear seas when the sunlight hit them and his hair fell perfectly after the wind blew it everywhere. His smile reflected millions of stars and his laugh sounded like angels singing. Tobias thought so highly of him. Why wouldn't he? He loved Martin more than anything on earth. He thought Martin was perfect and he knew that nothing would ever change that.

An hour later, Tobias was sitting in Martin's room. He was waiting for the nurses to bring him back. They had been experimenting with his body temperature lately to try and help him wake up again. Tobias hoped that it would work. He just wanted to have Martin with him again.

The clock ticking was driving him crazy. Instead of hearing that, he wanted to hear Martin's voice. He wanted to hear him scoff and be a smart ass whenever Tobias said something that he could shoot a snarky reply to. Even though Tobias told him that that drove him insane, he secretly loved it. He wanted Martin to call him out and tease him playfully again.

Tobias zoned out. He was too lost in his thoughts to see that Martin had been wheeled back into the room in his bed.

Martin felt off. The feeling of being free in his mind was gone. He felt himself being pulled back to reality. He didn't want to come back, though. He wanted to stay where he was because it felt safe. Nothing could hurt him while he was there and nothing could go wrong that he would know of. Waking up again would mean that he would have to try and figure out life– Life without the clergy and everything he grew up around.

He couldn't open his eyes yet, but he could hear people again. He heard small conversations and a couple noises other than voices. He didn't know who the voices belonged to, but he figured that they were doctors. None of them belonged to Tobias.

All he could move at first were his toes. He barely wiggled them. It felt weird to move again and before he knew it, his entire body was waking up. All of the feeling came back and overwhelmed him. His fingers were twitching and his hands were shaking while his legs began to move. His breathing got deeper and he panicked a bit, still not fully understanding why he felt this way and how long it would last.

The voices got louder and he could make out what they were saying. Still, none of them were Tobias. Now he was getting upset. He wanted Tobias. He realized and felt how much he missed him and he knew that he had to wake up. He needed to make sure that Tobias was okay.

"Slow, it's okay. Calm down. Take a few deep breaths," one of the nurses instructed him. Martin did just that, but he was still impatient. He wanted this process to be over.

The breathing took a few minutes, but to him it felt like centuries. All of this time was being used just so he could breathe. He wanted to open his eyes and function again. He didn't want to look lifeless and useless. He wanted to feel and be alive again.

Within a few more minutes, Martin was awake and he was blinking as he stared at the ceiling. He felt exhausted and worn out. There was a slight ache in his chest and it felt a bit uncomfortable to take deep breaths. He couldn't remember why it hurt, but he didn't want to be reminded. He knew that it couldn't have been caused by anything good.

"Martin?"

Martin heard Tobias's voice and he turned his head slowly as the doctor propped his bed up a bit. Their eyes met and they stared at each other for a moment. Tobias was out of focus at first, but after Martin blinked a few times, he was as clear as day.

"Tobias..." Martin said weakly. He didn't have much energy. He had been still for weeks up until then.

Tobias immediately began crying. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Martin, tugging him against his body. Martin leaned into him, not having the motivation to move his arms. Tobias didn't mind that. He was just glad that Martin was awake.

His tears fell from his cheeks and landed on Martin's shoulder. He couldn't explain how he felt. He was over the moon with happiness and excitement.

His love was awake. He was breathing normally and responding to people. He was alive. Tobias thought for nights that he'd come in one day and they'd break the news to him that Martin would never wake up again, but here they were. Here Martin was. Alive and depending on Tobias.

"I missed you, I missed you so much, I thought I lost you," Tobias sobbed into his neck. He held onto Martin a bit tighter, but in a way that wouldn't hurt him since the last thing Tobias wanted to do was cause Martin to fall into another coma. "I'm so glad you're awake... Please don't leave me, please god dammit, don't leave me."

Martin shook his head slowly and carefully moved his arms to wrap them around Tobias. He felt weak. All of him was tired and stiff, despite the fact that he felt like jello. It wasn't a good mixture of feelings, but Tobias was there and he was distracting him from it. Tobias always distracted him from bad things.

"What happened to me?" Martin asked quietly. He couldn't remember much of what had happened before he fell asleep and had been stuck in his mind. There just wasn't any recollection of it whatsoever. "Why was I gone for so long?" Martin's throat tightened up as Tobias pulled away to look down at him, his hands taking a gentle grip on Tobias's shirt to keep him where he was. "Why was I asleep? What happened, please tell me?"

"You were hurt," Tobias choked out. He pointed down to Martin's chest where the scar was from his surgery to repair his lung. More tears rolled off his cheeks from the thought of them having to handle Martin so delicately so he wouldn't pass away at their fingertips. He had to compose himself, though. He had had weeks to breakdown and now Martin was awake so he had to be strong for him. After all, he was all that Martin had left. "But you're okay now, I promise. They saved your life. They fixed your lung and everything."

"It hurts," Martin cried out softly, "It hurts to– to breathe h-hard."

"I know. I know, my love, I know," Tobias said as calmly as he could. The nurses had said that Martin wouldn't be feeling the best once he woke up. That wasn't surprising considering his lung had been torched by a ghoul from his clergy and his heart had stopped because of it. "You have to stay here for a couple more days, but you'll be awake, okay? They'll keep you awake and help you feel better."

"Don't go," Martin whimpered. He tugged at Tobias's shirt and his head fell down to rest between the crook of his neck and shoulder, his body shaking slightly as he sobbed. "I– I don't want you to leave, p-please don't go."

"Martin, I'm here, I'm right here," Tobias got out. His throat was tightening beyond belief and he could hardly handle it. He tipped his head back to stop the tears in his eyes from falling, his hands running over Martin's back gently in attempt to soothe him, even though he knew that it wouldn't work. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'll come and visit every single day. I'll be here and after that– Hey, listen, after everything's said and done, you and I will leave, okay? We can go wherever you want and do whatever we want. Nothing bad will happen to us."

Martin didn't say anything. He was too busy crying. Tobias didn't mind because he couldn't even begin to understand how he felt. He wasn't about to force him to say anything else even though he missed the sound of his voice. That would be selfish of him and at the moment, selfishness was the last thing Martin needed to be confronted with.

Nurses came in and out of the room to check his vitals, but didn't disturb Martin other than that. Tobias tried to get Martin to talk to them, but he wouldn't. Thankfully, they didn't try to force anything out of him. They saw how upset he was, so they kept their distance for the time-being.

Eventually, Martin calmed down, but he didn't move away from Tobias. He kept his grip tight and he began pressing kisses to the side of his neck, wanting to feel their skin touching in whatever way it could because of how badly he missed it. Being stuck in his mind for weeks was the worst thing he could've imagined. He didn't have any way to communicate with Tobias or anyone else so he was alone constantly. It was his own version of hell. He didn't know what he ever did to deserve that, but he didn't want to entertain the question because he was certain that his mind would conjure up something to make him feel bad.

"I love you," Tobias whispered to break the silence. The beeping of the heart monitor was driving him insane and he needed to say something before he lost it. "I love you so, so much. Don't forget that."

"I love you, too," Martin whispered back, "Thank you... for everything."

"You don't have to thank me," Tobias insisted, his nose brushing through Martin's hair as he kissed his head every few seconds. Martin hummed quietly and nudged his head up towards Tobias's lips, careful as to not hurt him. "I would do anything for you... You know that."

"I know," Martin mumbled, "I'm tired."

"I can imagine... You just cried for about an hour."

Martin cracked his first smile for the first time in weeks. Thankfully, Tobias pulled away in time to see it. He smiled back at him and cupped Martin's cheek in his hand, his thumb brushing along the apple of his cheek as he admired him.

"I missed that smile," Tobias told him, "You're so beautiful."

"Even when I just got out of a coma?"

"Of course. Even when you just got out of a coma."

"And even after I've been burnt internally?"

"Especially after you've been burnt internally."

Martin's smile grew wider and he leaned into Tobias's hand, his cheeks blushing a light shade of pink. He missed Tobias's little compliments. They boosted his esteem even when he thought that it had been crushed into oblivion. Tobias always seemed to turn things around. If it weren't for him, his life wouldn't have done a complete 180. He'd be stuck in the occult and held captive in a family that didn't care for him at all.

Tobias wasn't like that. He wasn't in the clergy and he cared for Martin. Martin was thankful for that.

"I love you," Tobias said again, "You'll be out of here soon."

"I love you, too. Then I'll be with you again."

"You'll always be with me." Tobias smiled down at him and kissed his forehead, whispering against his skin afterwards. "Always. I promise, my love."

Martin didn't doubt him. He had complete trust in Tobias. Tobias never gave him a reason to think otherwise.

With a kiss to Tobias's forehead, Martin mumbled quietly to him to make sure that no one else would hear, "You're the love of my life."

Tobias smiled softly. "And you're the love of mine."

"I should've known from the beginning."

"I should've, too. I feel stupid for being an asshole to you."

"You had every right to be." Martin nudged their noses together as his eyes shut. He was getting tired again. To him, that was weird considering he had just been unconscious for about twenty-one days. He groaned under his breath and forced himself to speak to stay awake, "I'm sorry, I'm tired."

"I know, darling, it's okay. Lay back down." To assure himself that Martin would actually listen to him, he guided Martin down onto the bed again himself. He pulled the blanket up to his chest and brushed his fingers through his hair while standing at the side of the bed, watching Martin quickly begin to drift in and out of consciousness.

He was afraid that he'd never wake up again if he slept, but he needed to let Martin rest. That was what would make him feel better.

"I love you," Martin murmured almost incoherently as his eyes slipped shut and stayed like that, "So... so much."

Tobias couldn't help but smile again, his hand coming down from his hair to cup his cheek instead. "I know you do. I love you, too. Go to sleep."

Martin nodded weakly and with that, he was asleep beneath Tobias's fingertips. That was the first time in forever that that had happened. Tobias was taking in the moment all while forcing himself to leave Martin undisturbed.

All he could think about was their life once Martin was discharged from the infirmary. He didn't know what they'd be doing, but even the uncertainty excited him. At least he'd be with Martin after all of this ended for good. 

After pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head, Tobias carefully drifted away from Martin to leave, his heart pounding with adrenaline from what had just happened and for what was to come.


	20. Chapter Twenty

## Chapter Twenty

Two weeks prior, Martin had been released from the infirmary. They stayed under surveillance during that time until the two decided what they were going to do with their lives. They took every precaution necessary in order to keep the two of them protected as they met with officials from the church and set up plans for whatever came to mind. As far as they knew, Tobias and Martin were the two most sacred objects in the church. 

Rather than turning Martin away, the church welcomed him with open arms. It was obvious that the clergy that Martin belonged to was ruthless and they didn't want another small genocide happening within it. They vowed to protect him as if he had been one of their own from the start and he was thankful for that. 

After weeks of debating what to do, Martin and Tobias came to the agreement that they would stay with the church. It was the best option. They didn't want to get mixed up with any other occults that could've been out to get them for their crimes. On top of that, although Tobias wasn't a blood relative, he was next in line for the throne. 

Nervous didn't cover what Tobias felt. The day he was sworn in as Cardinal Copia– as Nihil said he'd be– he was shaking so bad that he swore that he could feel his bones rattling beneath his skin. Of course Martin had calmed him down, but that didn't help in the long run. He messed up his entire speech and panicked as he was being sworn in, but nobody brought it to attention. It wasn't easy to take a title as high as Cardinal of the church and given his recent predicaments, they understood why he was nervous. 

From then on, Tobias was the highest power of them all and claimed Martin, who went by Omega when they were around others in the church since that was his name to them, as his secondhand man. It wasn't a secret that the two were lovers, but since they weren't married or blood related, he couldn't offer him a higher position. He had plans of changing that, however. 

As the two finished up their duties, they wandered around the church hand in hand. Martin was wearing the mask that he had worn with his own clergy, but the chin was removed so his mouth was exposed. Tobias requested that specifically so he could kiss him without having to remove the mask. Along with that alteration, he traded in his cassock for all black attire of jeans, a long-sleeved button up, and suspenders. Again, Tobias requested the suspenders because he enjoyed playing with them. 

Tobias, on the other hand, wore more fancy attire than he was used to. He wore a red cassock with leather gloves as he paced around the church. The hat he had to wear was a bit annoying, but as a Sister said, 'It completed the look.' Tobias wasn't one to turn something like that down, so against what his comfort zone was telling him, he wore it all times, unless he was alone with Martin. Only then could the two dress down and refer to each other by their human names.

They ventured into a new territory of the church, one that had been built in the mid of the conflict, and the only person who had seen it was Tobias. He was eager to show Martin since he figured he'd enjoy it, especially after the stressful day they had of baptizing new creatures in the unholy name of the church. 

"Alright," Tobias mumbled as he stopped Martin. He was beaming with excitement and he was squeezing and massaging the other's shoulders gently. He could sense the other's slight tension although there was no need for it. "Are you ready to see where I've taken you?"

"Yes, I think," Martin laughed out shakily. He was still on edge and Tobias could tell. Hell, anyone could. "Can I open my eyes?"

"No, just wait. We need a countdown."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack. Now... Get ready."

Martin rolled his eyes behind his eyelids and exhaled sharply. "Fine. I'm ready."

"Okay, okay... Three..."

Tobias looked at the open door in front of Martin then looked back to him, seeing how he had caught his bottom lip between his teeth and was nipping at it softly.

"Two..."

Dragging things out was his speciality. He also wanted to make this a little less nerve wracking for Martin.

"One and a half..."

"Tobias!" Martin whined, "Come on!"

"One..."

"I _will_ open my eyes, Tobias, I swear."

"Point five..."

"Tobias, I'm not–!"

"Open your eyes!"

Martin quickly opened his eyes and let them adjust to the sight before his mouth fell open. He was stunned and Tobias was shining brighter than the sun.

Compared to the other rustic chapels within the church, this one was fantastic. A giant stained glass window depicting the two of them battling Papa Nihil and Martin's former clergy jumped out to him first, then the lights were short to follow. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling and reflected light to the polished redwood pews below. In the right corner was an organ, one bigger than Martin had ever seen, and in the left corner were bells and chimes. Martin wanted to run up and ring them, but instead he refrained and stayed by Tobias's side as he looked over the chapel. 

"Oh... Oh, Tobias!" He exclaimed. He was smiling widely and his heart was beating almost too fast for him to comprehend, his attitude only going up from there on out. "Tobias, I– Look at this! Oh, look!"

"I know!" Tobias said with a laugh. His eyes moved between Martin and the magnificent decor of the chapel, his hand squeezing Martin's lightly. "Do you like everything?"

"Of course I do, look at this!" Martin was trying his hardest not to cry as happiness washed over him. It was one thing for Tobias to save his life, but it was another for him to dedicate an entire section of the church to him and their love. He never believed any act of love could be committed for him and now that it was happening, he didn't know how to react. "I love you, I love you so much, I can't believe y- you did all this for me."

Tobias chuckled and shook his head slowly, moving over to Martin to kiss his cheeks and pull him as close as he could. He wanted to embrace him, but he also wanted to lead him through the doors of the chapel. 

"I love you, too. How about we go look around inside?" Tobias suggested in a soft tone of voice.

Martin nodded and smiled at him again, turning his head to look at Tobias. "Okay... Okay. Okay, let's go."

Tobias laughed softly at him and nudged Martin towards the doors, his heart racing from the other's positive reaction.

–

"So... Our church names..."

"Our church names..."

"Do we have to use them while we're in here alone?"

"No, no, no. Just when we're around others."

Martin scoffed as he looked up at the chandeliers for what seemed like the millionth time. "I know I'll slip up and call you Tobias. I can't help it."

"Good because I like the name Tobias," Tobias said as he linked his arm with Martin. He had hardly let him go all day. They were practically inseparable.

"I do, too. It's cute. But... our church names. They're very... official, I suppose," Martin said with a shrug, "I don't mind them, but I'm not used to being at such a respected level."

"Neither am I. We can get used to it together."

The church definitely wasn't what they were used to and never would be. But that wasn't a bad thing. 

Martin and Tobias roamed around the chapel together in comfortable silence. Even though they had been there for nearly an hour already, they didn't want to leave. This was quickly becoming Martin's favorite room in the church and he didn't want to leave. Knowing that Tobias made this specifically for them was heartwarming in ways he couldn't even describe. He was truly spoiled rotten by him and he hoped that Tobias felt the same. 

Wandering up to the alter, they looked out at the tens of rows of pews and leaned against one another. They'd be spreading messages and psalms here together. Martin, who was normally afraid of large groups of people, couldn't even bring himself to be nervous about preaching in a space as beautiful as this. Aside from the decor, he'd have Tobias with him and Tobias calmed him all the time, even when he wasn't aware of it. Again, Martin hoped that Tobias felt the same. All he ever wanted to do was make Tobias happy and comfortable. He gave all that he had to give and he was doing it willingly every day because of how much he loved him. Tobias was all he ever needed. 

He never thought that they'd make it this far. He thought that their love would be lost or destroyed by someone in either of their families, but he was glad that it wasn't. He couldn't even imagine a life without Tobias now. 

They were together and about to start a new life. This was all he could've asked for and more.

After a moment, Martin spoke up, nudging his forehead against Tobias's head after he had removed the mask, "I love all of this... And I had no idea that there was a chapel this extravagant until now."

"I know, but this is where we live. We have to get used to owning this church, my love," Tobias teased, "All of this is ours for the taking... Which means we will be able to dance anywhere we want."

"I don't know if I can move like I used to," Martin said with a groan from the sudden suggestion. He smiled as he took Tobias's hand and set his other hand on the younger man's waist, pulling him closer as he cocked his head to the side slightly. "For you, I'll try."

"You always have," Tobias said in a dreamy tone of voice.

With smiles beaming on their faces, the two waltzed around the empty chapel. Neither of them were professional dancers, but that didn't stop them. Finally, they were out of harm's way and they were happy. They were together and starting the journey of life in the church with lives of heir own. That was the best life that both of them had in a while, and they weren't planning on changing or losing it.

Every time they stepped or stumbled on the other's footwork, they laughed it off and blamed it on their 'old age' before they continued dancing. Not even a hurricane could change the expressions on their faces. They were happy and they were left alone in serenity. That allowed them to feel the energy they shared between the both of them. It caught Martin by surprise, but it soothed Tobias and made him crave more. Thankfully, he would always be able to get more with Martin now. Nothing would get in the way of them.

The sun was beginning to set and small rays of sunshine were coming in the colored pieces of glass from the window behind them. That didn't stop them, however. They kept moving though the room was becoming dim and they rested their foreheads against one another's in silence. Nothing could top this moment. This is what they had wanted for so long. 

There was still a dull ache in Martin's chest from his gunshot wound, but he could hardly acknowledge it now that his heart was racing. Tobias never failed to distract him from even the worst pains in the world. He didn't need anyone else in his life when he had Tobias with him. Not even the medicine that made him loopy at the infirmary made him as happy as Tobias did, which said something to just about everyone who witnessed it those days.

Their lips brushed against one another's and Tobias felt his heart about to burst out of his chest. This was the moment. This was it. He couldn't wait any longer.

"I have a question, Martin," Tobias began softly, "Would you mind if I asked it?"

"Not at all... Ask it," Martin responded. He didn't know what was coming. He was in a daze.

Tobias bit his lower lip and retracted his hand from Martin's waist. He had meant to do this earlier, but something in him told him to wait. Now he was certain that this was the right moment.

With the ring placed between his fingers, he pressed a small kiss to Martin's lips then pulled away. He was fighting off the tremble that wanted to ripple over his body and rolled his shoulders back, keeping their foreheads together despite how close he was to collapsing into a shaking mess.

"Will you marry me?" He asked in a quiet tone of voice.

Martin's heart stopped and his eyes opened.

At first he looked at Tobias, who had also opened his eyes, then glanced down at the ring. It wasn't anything spectacular, but it didn't need to be. They had the entire church to themselves and lived in riches. A ring that was nothing but a golden band was perfect for them.

Everything was perfect.

"...I- I–" Martin didn't mean to stutter so much, but he couldn't help it. He was overwhelmed in the best way and tears were brimming his eyes again. There wasn't a doubt in his mind when it came to Tobias. He was going to spend the rest of his life with him and he knew it. He didn't want to be with anyone else. "Yes... Yes, I'll marry you."

Tobias inhaled sharply as a smile washed over his face. He didn't expect Martin to say yes, in all honesty. He figured that he'd make him wait. He was happy that he didn't, though.

Grabbing Martin's hand, he slipped the ring onto his finger. He had to be careful because now he was shaking and he didn't want to drop it. Thankfully, Martin realized that and helped him out by guiding his finger through it with a quiet laugh.

He was too happy to cry. There were so many emotions rushing through him that crying would be too much for him. Instead, he settled on wrapping his arms around the other and holding him close.

Martin hugged Tobias back and buried his face into his neck. They had stopped dancing, but now they were swaying back and forth gently. Everything was so light and sincere. They were happy and perfect for one another, and somehow their hearts were beating in sync with one another's. Nothing they could do would stop it.

"I love you, my Omega," Tobias whispered through a faltered tone of voice. He didn't mean for his voice to crack, but then again that was natural for what he had just done. His nerves were shot and Martin could tell. That's why he began to run his hands up and down his back to attempt to soothe him.

"I love you more, my Cardinal," he whispered back, "You are going to be the best husband."

Tobias laughed softly and hugged him tighter, pressing Martin to him as if someone would rip him away.

That wouldn't happen again, though. They were safe. No one would be coming for them ever again.

They were in peace and they were with one another. That was all they had ever wanted. The church was theirs and they were one another's. Nothing bad was coming their way and they were thankful for it.

Both of them had broken out of the molds that they had been forced into and flourished as individuals alongside each other. It was better than any dreams that either of them ever had. 

And they wouldn't be waking up anytime soon.


End file.
